I've always been amused by the sometimes clever play on words that Country & Western writes use in their song titles. Who can ever forget such classics as:

  • Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
  • She's Actin' Single I'm Drinkin' Doubles
  • I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
  • If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
  • Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?
  • If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
  • Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
  • They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
  • You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
  • I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
  • If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
  • She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
So I thought it would be a good idea to see what titles you could come up with if you were to write a Country & Western song with an Optical theme. To start it off, here's my contributuon:

She Took My P.D., Then She Stole My Heart