Moments to Remember or Forget...Eyecare Business Online

**optigoddess** · 04-09-2001, 02:43 PM

As I was rooting around my favorite links this morning (coffee carefully at my side :)
I checked out Eyecare Business Online - They are looking for the funniest, sweetest, most frustrating, enlightening, cutest, etc stories optical professionals have to share. They will be published in the December 2001 issue and the entry deadline is: October 1, 2001. I wanted to pass this info along to the gang here at Optiboard. I am new to this board but I can tell from what I have read that there are some interesting stories out there...

I'd like to start a thread on this subject of : interesting encounters of the public kind...so to speak...

I'll go first:

About 5 years ago, a guy called us from about 1 hour away. He was a long-haul trucker and had broken his glasses while loading his rig with ONIONS. He was on his way to another state & needed another pair ASAP (why can't they seem to understand us when we give them compelling reasons to get a backup...another time, perhaps). Anyway, we got it ready for him (we had a lab on-site) by the time he got there. He was SO grateful, he wanted to give us a "tip". We explained that we didn't want or need a tip but he insisted! So, he unloaded 2 100 pound bags of farm fresh onions and insisted we take them for our staff ! They were quite yummy....not quite creme brulee...but still...quite tasty....

**Specs** · 04-09-2001, 03:58 PM

I had an elederly man hand me his (ancient) eyeglasses which had one lens out. He then fished around in his pocket for the lens and the screw. He hands it all to me, then the explanation. He explains how he was just finishing up at the toilet when the lens popped out, and the lens and screw went in the toilet (not flushed yet). He graphically explained his methods of fishing around in there for the screw and how difficult it was to find. Meanwhile I'm standing there with these in my hands. YUCK!!! I couldn't get in the lab quick enough to scrub my hands. PR no charge--not on your life on this one.

**Cindy Hamlin** · 04-09-2001, 05:33 PM

I had a dear patient who was a potato farmer from Canada. Idaho potatoes, but grown in Canada. I learned much more than mashed or baked information from him.

He would visit his doctor daughter twice a year and would visit me and get his glasses. I took care of his eyeglass needs and listened to his stories for hours. To repay me for my kindness and patience (I think he had the early stages of Alzheimers) he would bring me a 100lb. bag of potatoes every year.

I have since relocated and am badly in need of potatoes! So if anyone can hook me up?????

:)

And to address the toilet glasses-GAGGGGGGGG!

Kind of like the lady I had that asked me to clean around her lenses in a plastic frame and then told me that what I HAD cleaned out was her blood! I almost died. After prohibiting my associates from using the ultrasonic and beaching it out. I about gagged!

[This message has been edited by cah2020 (edited 04-09-2001).]

**Shane** · 04-09-2001, 06:38 PM

Toilet glasses?

How disgusting. I love it. I may have to take a screwdriver to the local mall with that story and try it out on some unsuspecting frame stylist. I know I will not be able to keep a straight face through that though.

I once had a patient that insisted I could not clean his glasses nearly as well as he could. Since he was a +4.00 I found it tough to believe he could tell any difference, but I humored him and asked him how he cleaned his glasses. He grabbed his glasses and said "I'll show ya". He horked a lougie up from somewhere in his lung, spit it into his hand and rubbed it right into the lenses. He then "Polished" them with his undershirt.

To say the least I was stunned. The woman who was working with me almost gagged. I started laughing and told him it was good that he "wet" his lenses but, using his shirt was bound to scratch the lenses. I could not wait to get to the "De-lousing" station.

**Blake** · 04-09-2001, 06:40 PM

I'm not sure what category you'd put this one under...

I had an older man come in one night for an adjustment. He was slightly (I'm being nice) under the influence of alcohol. After he handed me his glasses, I noticed that he had a huge open cut on his hand! I quickly adjusted his glasses, while my manager got him a bandage. Then when he left I washed and washed and washed and washed my hands...

**harry a saake** · 04-09-2001, 07:17 PM

I have posted this one before on a previous post, but for sake of the book, ill repeat. I had an eighty-seven year old lady come into the shop in a wheelchair with her son. While discussing the glasses we struck up a conversation and as always I asked were are you originally from and what did you use to do. She then informed me that she used to be the piano player in a redlight house in Nevada. I replied, I guess you know some pretty good songs. She then asked me if I would like to hear one and I said yes and she started singing and singing, a pretty racy rendition of Pistol Packing Momma. By this time the whole store plus patients were out there listening to this lady. Mean while the son is turning beet red. We finally finished the transaction and as the son was wheeling her out the door, I heard her reply do you think i can come back here and sing again.

**Maria** · 04-09-2001, 07:21 PM

None of those are as gross as this. A pair of specs, brought in because a lens has cracked, because the guy got punched, and caught in the cracks? Skin and eyelashes.

**Bev Heishman** · 04-09-2001, 08:20 PM

When I first entered the business an optician was showing me how to adjust glasses at the dispensing bar in a mall store. Along the wall directly behind the counter were chairs. On this particular Saturday we were quiet full. After discussing with the patient what type of problem she was having the optician removed the glasses and proceeded to adjust the temples. After doing so he slipped them back on her as he was doing this he proceeded to slide his fingers back along the temples. When he reached the very top of her ears her wig fell off on to the floor. The people waiting were as stunned as we were. The woman didn't notice. He finally said to her "Excuse me mam but I think that is your hair laying on the floor."

[This message has been edited by Bev Heishman (edited 04-10-2001).]

**Texas Ranger** · 04-11-2001, 01:14 PM

When I was young, and just working in the lab, I had gone with my best friend to pick up his tailored suit at a fine men's store in fort worth; the tailor was so immaculately dressed..really awesome! except that his glasses were aweful...he was a pipe smoker and every so often he would take out his hankerchief and just wipe the middle of the lenses..they had a 1/4 ring of tobacco stain around the edges..he seemed oblivious to had bad it affected his appearance...an early lesson learned. he just considered the glasses as therapeudic, and not apparell. amazing.

**optigoddess** · 04-12-2001, 12:41 AM

I remember another interesting, enlightening experience. It was a blustery winter day: A gentleman came in for an adjustment - he opted to leave his knit cap on - no problem for me. He mentioned his glasses were slipping - so, I, on "auto-pilot" reaching up & placing my hands up to his ears to check the fit...I mentioned ears ? Imagine the look on my face when I realized he had EAR -- he noticed my look of sheer surprise & appologized -- he usually prepares his opticians for that...yep...a true Van Gogh moment ! Lesson: NEVER assume.... :)

**PBS** · 04-12-2001, 08:11 AM

How about this one. A friend of mine had his glasses break in half when the stripper at a recent bachelor party sat on his face.

**optigoddess** · 04-12-2001, 02:40 PM

PBS:

Maybe your friend should have worn an autoflex ?

**Diane** · 04-12-2001, 07:42 PM

The ear story reminded me of about 23 or so years ago, a gentleman came into my office for an adjustment, and as I ran my fingers behind his ears to check, one of them fell off, when I jerked my hand because of the feel. I almost fainted. It was a prosthesis, obviously, but I wasn't prepared. HE did NOT apologize, just laughed. Anyway, after a few minutes of collecting myself, I managed to replace the ear and complete the adjustment.

:(
Diane

**Clive Noble** · 04-13-2001, 12:48 AM

A couple of weeks ago, I saw this old boy outside the store looking through the window, he was wearing a 30 yr old large plastic frame with +10.00 lenses(it may have been +12.00) and eventually after dithering he made the decision to come in.

I was already prepared in my mind with a good choice of lenses and frames to offer him.

He came over to the counter and squinted up at the contact lens solutions.

"How can I help you?" I asked

"Give me a pack of Marlboro'" he said

"We don't sell cigarettes, we're Opticians"

"Ehh?" he said cocking an ear.
I repeated this again and he still didn't hear, finally he started to smile...

"Yes, I need an Optician too," he said "so if you don't have any Marlboro' what cigarettes do you have?"

After a few more words, he left very confused, but a good thing he didn't see or hear too well as there was a lot of laughing going on in the reception area

**canoptic** · 04-13-2001, 12:53 AM

When I was about 25 yrs old and 3 years into my own business a very buxom young woman came in for her 1st pr of contacts.
I always did a trail fit to gage the fit and temperament of the client.
Middle of summer and this young ( Did I mention buxom?) woman was wearing a halter top and short shorts.
Standing beside the seated woman I proceeded to insert the 1st trail lens. My routine was to instruct the person to look ahead, at that point I would trap the bottom lid,look down, than trap and raise the upper lid, than tell the person to look at their nose, at which point I would insert the lens. When I ask her to "look at her nose" she stuck out her long healthy tongue and curled it upward as I fiddled with her eye,lids and contact. What a view I had standing above her. Same thing happened with the other eye.
After both lenses were in I remarked that I had never seen an involuntary action like that when I inserted a contact. She didn't know what I was talking about. I said the way you stick out your tongue when you look at your nose, and she said I thought you said lick my nose.....
Its true.