Traveled 2310 miles in three days this past weekend.

**Darris Chambless** · 03-10-2004, 01:22 PM

Because I'm happy she's here I wanted to say that this past weekend my wife and I drove to Georgia and picked up my great niece and brought her home. She will be part of our household from here on out. She's had a tough life in the past but that has changed for good.

There are some that I had told what was going on and wanted to give the update to and to everyone that I may have left out of the loop I wanted you to know and to dote just a little ;)

It will be an adjustment for all concerned but we are looking forward to seeing her grow and prosper.

Thanks to all for your concern, prayers and support,

Darris C.

**BobV** · 03-10-2004, 02:28 PM

I think it's FANTASTIC you and your wife are doing this. I wish your family well through this endevor.

Take care.

Bob V.

**chip anderson** · 03-10-2004, 07:42 PM

Traveled only slightly less, but I did get to go to Bike Week in Daytona, and fishing in FL a couple of days.

Chip:)

**Cindy Hamlin** · 03-10-2004, 08:37 PM

Good for you and Mrs. Darris! :D

Raising another little conservative, huh? Congrats on your new edition.

**Darris Chambless** · 03-11-2004, 10:48 AM

Thanks Bob,

perhaps one trip to Marysville sometime in the future we might get together again and you can meet Alexandra. I will begin looking forward to that day.

Chip,

Since I had no leisure time it was in the car driving until we couldn't drive anymore, find a hotel, sleep for about four hours (five if we were lucky) get up, dirve until we arrived where my great niece was staying, visited with the folks that she had been staying with for about 45 minutes, load up her stuff and do the same thing heading back. It would have been great if I was going to bike week in Daytona and I envy you that, but it was a trip worth the effort.

Cindy,

Yes, I'm already teaching Alex that although liberal ideology looks good on paper it nevers works in practical application and should be reserved for bathroom reading only :D

Unfortunately she has been partly raised by an irresponsible mother through her younger years and missed an entire year of school for whatever reason so she is a little behind but coming along quite well. Fortunately she is a smart kid to begin with so getting her up to where she needs to be scholastically will be work but not unattainable.

Finally, and even though they will probably never see this I want to thank the Smiths and the Shires for all they've done for Alex. If not for them life for this child would have gone a completely different direction and it would not have been a good direction.

Take care,

Darris C.

**BobV** · 03-11-2004, 10:53 PM

You're on, my friend. Matter of fact, I wouldn't mind meeting the family if at all possible.

Perhaps next time your in the area, we could meet at Cabela's or, hopefully at the new Bass Pro Shop that they are going to build about 5 miles from home.

Bob V.

**hcjilson** · 03-12-2004, 07:35 AM

Tell us a little bit about her. How old is she, what grade is she in, what does she like, etc. I am sure she'll pick up some Dutch Uncles and Aunts around this place! :D

hj

**Laurie** · 03-12-2004, 11:45 AM

Hi Darris,

Congratulations.

My hat is off to you...taking in another child is a great gift of charity. You are saving a life.

(normally I would poke fun at your political view, but not here...I don't want to do anything to water down the compliment to you and your wife.)

God bless you and yours,

: )

Laurie

**hip chic** · 03-12-2004, 03:12 PM

Darris~

I'm curious to know all about your niece also...to hear the background...her story and to share all your future joys with updates here on Optiboard.

What wonderful people you and your wife are. I admire people of action...people who see a problem and work toward a solution instead of being a bystander.

Best Wishes.

hip chic

**Darris Chambless** · 03-12-2004, 05:22 PM

You have my permission to poke fun at my political beliefs any time you wish just so long as you understand that I will poke back and will do it better than you :D Seriously, I appreciate the kind words and after seeing the responses I do want to say that I didn't post this to get a pat on the back, I'm simply happy and wanted to share the news and do honestly appreciate the well wishing. I consider you all my friends as well as family and it was important to me to update the fam'.

A little background. My great niece's name is Alexandra but we call her "Alex." She is 11 years old and in the 5th grade. She is not a stranger to us since she spent the 15 months with my wifes sister as well as previous summers with same. My daughter and Alex are very close and my daughter would cry after Alex moved to Georgia because she knew she wouldn't be visiting again anytime soon. Alex is a great kid but has some things we have to work through and may end up having other things down the line that we will have to deal with but that's just life ;)

Now I must say that being a thread about my neice I must talk about my daughter as well. My daughter and I talked before Alex got here and I explained to Taylor (daughter) that because she has been an only child for the last 10 years that things would change and attention from people would be split between the two. I told her that this was something she would have to learn to work through and if she was having problems coping to let me or mom know. She understood but I know that as time goes on and until everything settles down and things get back to being normal my daughter will have feelings of jealousy and times when she feels ignored. It's inevitable but so far she really hasn't although last night she did get upset because she felt it was unfair that she had to sit in her room and read while Alex got to watch a movie.

Just so you don't think I'm an ogre, my daughter has a weekly reading goal at school where she must read a book or books that total a certain number of points and test on them by Friday. My daughter picked a book that was worth 5.5 points, well over the required amount, but as of yesterday had read a total of 62 pages of a 154 page book. She told us this when we asked her while she was heading out the back door to jump on her trampolin. Needless to say she didn't make it out the back door and used the remainder of the evening, this morning, her reading period in class and lunch time reading said book.) Taylor is a good and fast reader but since Alex doesn't have the same classroom requirements (Taylor is 4th grade, Alex is 5th) Taylor feels that since Alex doesn't have to she shouldn't either. To be expected and I did expect it would happen so I'm still one step ahead thus far ;)

As to Alex's background I can't go into too much detail simply because some things are better left unsaid and some should remain private and I hope everyone understands. What I can tell you is that Alex has had a tumultuous life but despite it all has a good outlook on life. We fought for custody due to neglect by the parent, not due to physical or sexual abuse. Fortunately Alex was only with her mother for 4 months before CPS stepped in. The mother (in order to keep from having a case filed against her) willingly turned custody over to her new husbands parents who took exceptional care of Alex.

I guess an intresting story that I can tell is that after Alex went to stay with the Smiths I contacted them to see what was going on with the whole situation. The Smiths had custody but because Mr. Smith had given my neice and his son his word he would not willingly turn custody of Alex over to anyone else and he was bound by that promise, but if we went through the courts he wouldn't fight it (keeps him from breaking his word if the court says he has to). I admire and respect that. Mr. Smith had done this because he didn't know my neice the way I do and I told him that fortunately he didn't know my neice very well and unfortunately I did, but I told him I respected his decision and told him that a man has to be true to his word. I asked if we could keep in contact with Alex through this if that was okay with he and his wife and he agreed.

I knew...I just knew that sooner or later my neice (Alex's mother, God love her) would let her true colors shine through for the Smiths to see. Then they would know who and what she is. Well, my prayers were answered and my neice let her hair down so to speak after finding out we were filing for custody in the courts. She showed up at the Smiths and after talking to them and leaving the Smiths promptly got on the phone to us and said in essence "We've changed our mind and whatever papers you need us to sign for custody of Alex we will be more than happy to sign." They were even the ones that called my lawyers office and asked them to send the necessary papers and that they were turning custody over to us. I found that out after calling my lawyer to inform him of this and his receptionist said they had already called and the paperwork was already in the mail to them. :)

Sadly there is another child envolved in this as well but the Smiths have custody and will give him a good home. My neice, the mother, is such a sad but intresting story. She needs to be institutionalized and studied,...disected if need be (I didn't just say that did I??? ;)

Thank you all,

Darris C.

**hcjilson** · 03-12-2004, 05:50 PM

I can't remember which one you check regularly so kindly check them both. I only know its time to empty out your Optiboard box so you can get PM's and avoid this confusion, so please get after that, rather than a lengthy reply!:D

In any event I had occasion to not only misspell your last name, but misdirect the recipient (s).
Please correct the message to read to " Alex and Taylor" c/o Mr and Mrs Chambless. Thats quite a bundle you have taken on, but God will never give you more than you can deal with, so relax and have a great time with it! Any problems you have, just call papa hojo! He's the Dr Death of parenthood!

love to you all from mr and mrs hj

**hip chic** · 03-13-2004, 10:37 AM

Darris~

Please be sure to keep your Optiboard family posted. I hope your daughter realizes that she is a hero also...how giving and unselfish she is for a 10 year old! You are a great Dad and a great person....I loved reading about your conversation with your daughter....very thoughtful.

I will send all positive thoughts to you and your family.

hip chic

**Darris Chambless** · 03-15-2004, 10:56 AM

I will keep everyone posted as to how things are going. So far Alex is settling in okay. We had her welcome home party yesterday but unfortunately I had to spend the majority of the time under a truck changing out a transmission. I did however get to see and greet all the comers and goers from under the truck :)

Harry, I did get your e-mail and thank you very much. We will put it to use for both girls asap.

Take care everyone,

Darris C.

**chm2023** · 03-15-2004, 10:56 AM

Just a thought--I spent a lot of year working with at risk kids, not that I am an expert by any means: the most common type of child abuse is neglect, and a lot of people will tell you that it is the most devastating. You and your wife may want to talk to a child development professional just to get a heads up on what to expect if Alex starts to act out. Kids are marvelously resilient but it may be helpful to know what to look for. It's such a joy to hear about how you are reaching out to this child and making a commitment to her well-being. (...and of course, there is the added benefit of having one more person to sign your commitment papers when that time inevitably comes!!!!

**Darris Chambless** · 03-15-2004, 11:52 AM

We have already been talking with a child psychologist at our church, the pastor at our church, and the pastor at my parents church (who has gone through a similar experience with his grandsons). We have scheduled an appointment with Alex's teacher for this week and will schedule an appointment with the school councelor.

My brother was a councelor for the West Texas Boys Ranch for several years (high risk, problem and abused children) and has a degree in psychology and said he would talk to her if we wanted him to. We have plenty of support so far and will rely on it as we need it. Thanks for the suggestions they are greatly appreciated.

Yes, I'm sure one day I will have to be committed especially if the loonacy continues to run rampant in this country :)

Take care,

Darris C.