Unprecedented rare case of eye-correction intolerance.
Hello everybody! I sincerely apologize if I post in the inappropriate section of the forum, I have just found it. Please, don't delete my writings.
I'm beyond desperate to get to the bottom of things. It's an emergency for me and I'm immensely hopeless with my problem. I need a professional/semi-professional opinion from those who can give it regarding my request and If any of you have had something at least remotely similar, don't hesitate to share your experiences and speak on it, please!
I deal with some very rare unexplainable form of intolerance to vision correction prescriptions and up until this day, I haven't met a single soul who's ever dealt with what I'm struggling with.
Please, be so kind and bear with me, the story goes:
I'm nearsided, been living with minor to moderate miopia for more than 14 years now (it has started back in '09). Right now it's - 2,25 diopters on each one of my eyes. Being miopic, I deliberately haven't been using any type of eye correction for the whole of 11 years straight. Ever since (in March of 2020) I've started to use contacts, the troubles began.
By troubles I mean a huge bunch of very real, weird unexplained side effects of psycho-physiological nature. Before I'll go into details, I hope to, I want to assure any reader that I'm not some nutcase who finds pleasure in making up some random dumb things. Regarding the aforementioned issue, I've been relentlessly, extremely observant and I'm adamant with my statements.
So, E.V.E.R.Y. single time, THE SECOND I put on glasses OR contacts, (NO matter the brand/the shape of lenses/contacts and etc) I involuntarily begin to feel different. In many ways all at once. How so?
• All visible things that surround me appear closer than they actually are and thus my depth of vision gets impaired. (I was careful to not to overcorrect my prescription when selecting contacts with an optometrist)
• When in contacts, it becomes way-way harder for me to intuitevely, like we all do, to perceive the distance to any surrounding object. (I believe that it's the change in spatial perception, it gets thrown off) for example, when walking outside and minding my steps, while walking over some object on the ground, I may lift my foot higher than needed, or the other way around - lower - wich will result in me stumbling upon the ground. Same with staircase, same with everything.
• With my contacts on, I become almost unbearably clumsy with my movements in general. I start to feel wooden in my body and in my head. Not periodically, not at certain moments like we all tend to, naturally, but I lose the actual physical ability to move around/do stuff as effortlessly and efficiently in my daily life. I want to accurately pick something from the table to neatly place it aside? Some small item? I cant! I will grab it not gently enough/ it will slip from my grip/i will bump something else laying around along the way. Typing on my phone? I trigger typo/will press the wrong buttons quadrillion times, doing that in few minutes alone. I believe that this happens because my attention gets chained to how my eyes see everything in contacts and thus I can't properly concentrate on many things at once like I always do. It's such a huge letdown, that calling these things "side-effects"will be a criminal understatement. It's so energy consuming to tolerate and to calmly accept this, words will never describe. I believe that this happens because my attention gets chained to how my eyes see everything in contacts and thus I can't properly concentrate on many things at once like I always do. I simply suffer like a fool with this, not being able to change it, no matter what I try.
• Head gets empty. Brainfog appear. Inner dialogue almost shuts off. I can't comfortably feel myself in my own skin. I just literally don't feel myself like I usually do in my own body all the goddamn time. (when I don't use correction)
• I lose the track of time. Tell me that I have ten minutes to catch a train and IF I'm not wearing correction, I freely can calculate what and how fast i may/can do and do it. (again, by concentrating on many things at once, being on the move, like all humans do) With contacts on, I almost immerse in a sort of a invisible yet feelable bubble that envelopes me.
• I don't feel my body sensations the same way that I do all the time. Comfort from the clothes that I wear - the intensity of the feeling turns all the way down. Weird everpresent tension, not related to social anxiety appears and not goes away.
• My hearing gets worse. I lose the ability to estimate on whether or not the noise levels that come from me saying something/doing things is pretty loud/acceptable to some social situation in wich I find myself in or not. Moreover, my brain loses the ability to precisely measure the distance to source of any sound around me.
I can go on, but I will stop here. Was wearing my contacts on a regular for this past three years. I can write a whole book on this mysterious "curse" that I'm deaing with. I have no idea what is it and why it is. What is this? Sensory overload? Yes? No? What should I do anyway? I can't see well without correction, but I can feel like myself. With correction, I only can see better (although, not really), but it's not worth it when I go through this torture every time I put on glasses/contacts.
To conclude. Again, ALL of these symptoms, all of them together appear instantly as soon as contact lense sits on my eye/the moment I put glasses on (funny thing is, when it's just one lense that is being put on, I only feel all these symptoms partially.) I want to claw my eyes out. I can't go on like that, it's a burden, it's unbearable. Please, don't say that it's a no brainer case and that when my eyes don't see everything, my brain compensates for it by boosting other sensory organs. It was my first ever prediction and I believe that it's much more complicated than that. It's almost as if my mind rejects the artificial aid wich is correction, but I don't know anymore, I've given up.
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