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Thread: Most Batsh*t Crazy Thing You've Heard a Patient Say?

  1. #51
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter ak47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MelissaL View Post
    I once had a 80 year old woman swear that I stole a $100 bill from her. She claimed that she paid her $20 copay as soon as she walked in the door and I never gave her the change back. I tried to explain that we do never collect a copay before exams because our computer system doesn't allow us to enter payment without a CPT and diagnosis code. She insisted I was lying and that I could clearly use the money. I should mention that I was 8 months pregnant and looked like I could pop at any moment. She stormed out of the office after screaming at me in front of about 20 other patients and called me a thief and a liar. Being pregnant and emotional, I had a good cry and was seriously worried that I would be fired after being accused of theft. Thank goodness the manager and doctor thought she was crazy and believed me. I worked at the practice for 6 years and had a wonderful reputation and knew that I would never do something like. I was off the next day and it turns out the lady came back in the office the following morning and asked for the manager to tell her that she wanted to apologize because she found the $100 bill in a different pocket in her purse.
    a small amount of consciousness can be a very dangerous thing.

  2. #52
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    In our office we had a women that would come in for her yearly exam , wearing tin foil on her head. (she would not take it off) It kept them from hearing her thoughts. I am not sure who them were but she worried about all us that did not have the tin foil . We have not seen her in years maybe them came and took her .

  3. #53
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    I had a guy in here yesterday that had fallen, his fall was stopped my his face, which had a pair of glasses on. The metal frame was MANGLED, one temple was bent 90 degrees and was sticking straight out. I told the gentleman that I would attempt to bend it back to where it belonged, but there was a chance that it would break while doing so. He says you mean I'd have to buy a new frame then? Yes sir if it breaks you would need a new frame. I explained that there was only one way find out and that was to just try to bend it back. I explained that I had all of the tools and the know how to do it but that was no guarantee that it wouldn't break and that I was not going to be responsible when it breaks. He looks at me, takes the frame out of my hand and says I'll go find someone else. I wished him luck. Geez...people!

  4. #54
    One eye sees, the other feels. OptiBoard Gold Supporter
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  5. #55
    ABO-AC, NCLEC bob_f_aboc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bwarren View Post
    In our office we had a women that would come in for her yearly exam , wearing tin foil on her head. (she would not take it off) It kept them from hearing her thoughts. I am not sure who them were but she worried about all us that did not have the tin foil . We have not seen her in years maybe them came and took her .
    We had a patient in last week that had her credit cards, insurance cards, and driver license wrapped in foil and kept that bundle in her wallet (wrapped in foil) in her purse (lined with foil). She said it stops the scanners from reading her information.
    A lack of planning on your part DOES NOT constitute an emergency on mine!

  6. #56
    Master OptiBoarder mdeimler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bob_f_aboc View Post
    We had a patient in last week that had her credit cards, insurance cards, and driver license wrapped in foil and kept that bundle in her wallet (wrapped in foil) in her purse (lined with foil). She said it stops the scanners from reading her information.
    Actually, it stops the SCANNERS from messing up her cards, the strip where the info is kept, if my memory serves me correctly. The beams cannot penetrate the foil.

  7. #57
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter ak47's Avatar
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    Foiled again!

    Quote Originally Posted by bwarren View Post
    In our office we had a women that would come in for her yearly exam , wearing tin foil on her head. (she would not take it off) It kept them from hearing her thoughts. I am not sure who them were but she worried about all us that did not have the tin foil . We have not seen her in years maybe them came and took her .
    Wow, I haven't seen that one before, but if I did I know what I'd be thinking to myself every time she walked thru the front door........................................................ ......FOILED AGAIN !!!

  8. #58
    OptiBoard Moron newguyaroundhere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mdeimler View Post
    Actually, it stops the SCANNERS from messing up her cards, the strip where the info is kept, if my memory serves me correctly. The beams cannot penetrate the foil.
    If her cards were installed with a RFID chip then I could see why she would do this.

  9. #59
    One eye sees, the other feels. OptiBoard Gold Supporter
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    Roberts Optical Ltd.
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    Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. - Richard P. Feynman

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  11. #61
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    Many years ago I had an elderly lady come in and tell me her bifocals were to high. I asked to look at them and she said, "Oh it's not your fault, they were fine when I got them. But at night when I take them off, I don't want to fold the temples so I set them upside down on the bedside table and the bifocals have slid. So when I put them on in the morning they are to high. I ask her how long she has had them and she says about two weeks. Thinking quickly, I tell her no problem for the next two weeks, turn them over on the night stand and they will go right back into place after that just fold them up normal and they will be fine.
    A month later she brought me a pie to thank me from saving her the cost of new lenses.

    That's when I learned, don't argue with crazy people, just be crazy right along with them. It makes the job much easier and you get pie.

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    I need to make an appointment with the dentist, yes ma'am we are an optical clinic we do eye exams and sell glasses and contacts. Are you trying to be funny, no ma'am we are a no fun zone. Well I need to see a dentist, I'm sorry ma'am but I can't help you with that. F*** you I need my teeth cleaned, sorry ma'am I can't help you with that. What kind of dental office are you, a very poor one ma'am. Why do you have glasses in your office, to confuse the public ma'am. Well if I need glasses maybe I'll come back but this is the worst dental office I've ever been in, have a Merry Christmas ma'am.
    I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain

  13. #63
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    "I am a queen and I should be treated like one" (from a woman wearing a crown. I s--- you not).

  14. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by CCGREEN View Post
    I have never had to do this, came close a few times though. I do everything I can to deescalate the issue, including stepping away and turn it over to someone else.
    But I have always said that I draw the line when it comes to physical assault from a customer/patient. That kind of behavior we do not need in our profession. There is always a extra room in the local county bar room hilton for them. I just don't want them coming back and shooting the place up.
    Which this leads me to another question I have always asked. With all the personality's we have to deal with why do we not ever get any ed hours in physiology so that we may better understand the type people we deal with and how to handle situations?
    In our dispensary they always give me the difficult patients. Apparently they think I have a skill for working with the crazy ones because before I became an optician I worked as a Special Ed Aide in our area schools. So yes, I would say that education has really helped me a lot dealing with some patients!!! (and the occasional optician!)

  15. #65
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    I dunno if this will size up to some of the stories here but ill give it a go.
    We made two pair of glasses for this 86 year old guy. After going back and forth with his Dr and trying to get the correct RX and 4 Rx's later we finally made him 2 pair of glasses that he could see out of. When he tried them on in the store they were wonderful, but when he got home he couldn't see a thing out of them. I suggested that it may be a lighting issue. He told me he was going down to the army/navy store to get a runway spot light. I laughed but he was serious. He just came in with two pair of glasses that he thought we made him. He told us that he cant see out of either of the glasses. He called the Dr's office where he got the RX and brought them the glasses. They agreed that the glasses he brought were from an older RX and the poor guy is just in a terrible way. I came up with an idea to have him bring all the glasses he had so we can neutralize the glasses and find out which ones were his. Bad news bears. He told me that he took all of his extra glasses and donated them to the lions club except for the two pair that he brought in. I called the doctors office and they agreed that he came in with a bag full of glasses and there's probably no way to find them because they have a ton of boxes who knows where they are. Fortunately our lab took pity on us and are sending us 4 more ft 28's bless their hearts. Im sending them chocolate chip cookies.

  16. #66
    Master OptiBoarder AngeHamm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaoticneutral View Post
    I dunno if this will size up to some of the stories here but ill give it a go.
    We made two pair of glasses for this 86 year old guy. After going back and forth with his Dr and trying to get the correct RX and 4 Rx's later we finally made him 2 pair of glasses that he could see out of. When he tried them on in the store they were wonderful, but when he got home he couldn't see a thing out of them. I suggested that it may be a lighting issue. He told me he was going down to the army/navy store to get a runway spot light. I laughed but he was serious. He just came in with two pair of glasses that he thought we made him. He told us that he cant see out of either of the glasses. He called the Dr's office where he got the RX and brought them the glasses. They agreed that the glasses he brought were from an older RX and the poor guy is just in a terrible way. I came up with an idea to have him bring all the glasses he had so we can neutralize the glasses and find out which ones were his. Bad news bears. He told me that he took all of his extra glasses and donated them to the lions club except for the two pair that he brought in. I called the doctors office and they agreed that he came in with a bag full of glasses and there's probably no way to find them because they have a ton of boxes who knows where they are. Fortunately our lab took pity on us and are sending us 4 more ft 28's bless their hearts. Im sending them chocolate chip cookies.
    Good on you, and on your lab!
    I'm Andrew Hamm and I approve this message.

  17. #67
    Master OptiBoarder RIMLESS's Avatar
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    And this is why this profession occasionally makes me feel like throwing up in my mouth😎
    90% of everything is crap...except for crap, because crap is 100% crap

  18. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by chaoticneutral View Post
    Fortunately she moved out of state shortly after that.
    Lucky you, but I hope she didn't move to NC. We have enough already.

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    Phone call today, pt complains of not being able to get used to her new glasses. When told she needed to come back to the office, bring the glasses and let us double check the fit and talk about her problems in person she asked: "Can my Mom just drop them off and y'all fix them and call me?" *sigh*

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    Quote Originally Posted by opty4062 View Post
    Phone call today, pt complains of not being able to get used to her new glasses. When told she needed to come back to the office, bring the glasses and let us double check the fit and talk about her problems in person she asked: "Can my Mom just drop them off and y'all fix them and call me?" *sigh*
    The next time that happens ask the patient to put her glasses next to her smartphone so you can perform a remote scan and update her progressives with the latest software update. If all fails suggest a remote CAT scan for any brain activity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy Canty View Post
    Long time client (PhD candidate) brings in Rx from her new OMD. Tells me that she knows it's wrong, because the numbers don't look right. New Doc refracts in + cyl, old OD refracts in - cyl. Made the glasses according to new rx. Client picks them up and says she cannot see anything clearly. Tried to explain transposition as simply as possible. She doesn't believe me. Send her back to the OMD. I called the OMD and asked her do re-check and write in - cyl. Client is triumphant! The OMD was wrong! I carefully cleaned her new glasses and put them on the magic shelf for a week. Client picked up and her vision was perfect. #amindisaterriblethingtowaste
    You have a magic shelf too?!? Imagine that. HAHAHAHA I don't know how any optical cannot have one!

  22. #72
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    WE also had to invest in magical pliers and other various tools in addition to a magic shelf
    you cannot believe what a difference they make!

  23. #73
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    The magic tools are the best! And don't forget the Mythical LAB that fixes anything.

  24. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by pseudonym View Post
    Lucky you, but I hope she didn't move to NC. We have enough already.


    AMEN! Been to MD, VA, IL, and MO. Definitely a higher concentration of nutjobs in NC!
    "You can't think about it, you just gotta let your brain do the work....."
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  25. #75
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    An elderly woman came in yesterday and told me that something was drastically wrong with her new glasses, and that they were ruining her eyes. When I inquired as to what the problem was, she said that when she took off her glasses, she got double vision. I looked at her Rx and she has 7 diopters of vertical prism! I patiently explained why she needs to wear them all the time, and she was happy I explained it to her. Glad I didn't go with the response I really wanted; Repeatedly hit myself upside the head and say, "Why does it feel better when I stop?!!!"
    The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.

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