Sticky question...

**MikeAurelius** · 09-16-2013, 08:08 PM

Ok, I know the rules about asking for professional advice, and I'm going to try hard not to encroach on that...that being said, here's the problem:

My mother is 80+. Has IOL's in both eyes. And last week Friday had two accidents with the car. I know it was Friday the 13th, but both accidents were what I believe to be either a depth perception issue or a peripheral vision issue. Fortunately, there were no other cars at risk, one was going over the curb and taking out a handicapped sign while trying to park, the other was getting too close to the right side of the garage and clipping the mirror and doing some serious body damage. First estimate was over $4K.

What I want to do is call her eye M.D., and ask him to do an eval on her depth and peripheral vision on her next visit. Is this something that a doc would do at the request of a family member? Or am I S.O.L., and have to go in with her to see the doc and "force" the issue in person?

As you can imagine, taking the keys away from mom isn't going to go over very well, so I'd far rather a doc tell her than a judge...

Thoughts? Opinions? Any advice on this issue would be greatly appreciated!

**fjpod** · 09-17-2013, 04:58 AM

As we get older we lose a lot of things. I hope I don't sound too cold, but I have lived through it with my parents and my mother in law.

We lose a bit of vision, hearing, spatial awareness, balance, reaction time, mobility, cognitive function, and I'm sure, a few other things I've failed to mention. Maybe it's due to a medication or combination of meds. Your mom's problem can be one these, or more likely a combination. It can't hurt to get a complete eye exam including a visual field and depth perception test. Often visual fields in these cases are somewhat unreliable due to all the things I mentioned above.

Best advice is for you and her to recognize this is a different phase of life you are both entering into and to make some adjustments.

**Yeap** · 09-21-2013, 12:01 AM

i agree that take away her keys doesn't solve this.
u keep the key and drive her around will definately helps this.

**MikeAurelius** · 09-21-2013, 10:09 AM

We had a long family discussion last night over dinner and more information has come out. I suggested that my dad take Fridays off so he can drive mom around, and both thought it was an excellent idea. She's ready to stop driving as long as she can get to the places she needs to get to.

Now, as soon as dad gets done with his rehab from his 2nd knee replacement surgery (on the same knee), this just might work!

**SeaU2020** · 09-24-2013, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by MikeAurelius

We had a long family discussion last night over dinner and more information has come out. I suggested that my dad take Fridays off so he can drive mom around, and both thought it was an excellent idea. She's ready to stop driving as long as she can get to the places she needs to get to.

Now, as soon as dad gets done with his rehab from his 2nd knee replacement surgery (on the same knee), this just might work!

Good luck, Mike! It's a delicate, difficult, emotional situation...so hard to know when and where to draw the lines as we get older.