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Thread: My Favorite Stupid Question By Patients.

  1. #1
    Optical Curmudgeon EyeManFla's Avatar
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    Big Smile My Favorite Stupid Question By Patients.

    So, as the patient is filling out his or her medical history form and comes over to you and says, "Now, when you mean relatives, that include my husband (and or wife)".

    "Well, Mrs......(or Mr.......) unless your from West Virginia, Alabama, a member of the British Royal Family or a Kennedy, I doubt that your husband (and or wife) is related to YOU!

    OK, so the old broad didn't think it was funny. Turned out she was Tallahassee (close enough to Alabama for me).:bbg:

  2. #2
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    When I first started working in optical I had a fellow come into the store I was working in. (Let me set the scene-mall, 6,000 frames, name of the company "Monfried OPTICAL" and a superstore.)

    He asks "Do you sell glasses?"

    Being the smart a## that I am, I replied "No, we're a front for a clothing store what size do you wear and I will get it out of the back for you!"

    My manager (who was standing not far away) emitted a gasp like it was her last breath ever. Then the customer laughed and said "Guess that was a REALLY stupid question!"

    We both laughed and he ended up spending a lot of money!
    ~Cindy

    "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Catherine Aird-

  3. #3
    OptiBoard Professional Caroline's Avatar
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    Confused

    A patient actually said this yesterday:

    Patient: "I missed my appointment last month."

    Me: "Ok, we can set up a new appointment for next week, the Dr is booked till then."

    Patient: "Well since I missed my appointment, you should take me today."

    Me: "No, since you missed your appointment, you will have to wait till next week."

    How rude!!:angry:
    Caroline, L.O.

    If you suffer from severe nonlinear waterfowl issues, you don't have your ducks in a row.

  4. #4
    Bad address email on file OptiBoard Gold Supporter Sean's Avatar
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    I had someone come in the other day and say...."The movement on my watch is not working........If i leave it with you today....when will i be able to pick it up?" I then tried to explain that he needed to go down the road a bit.His reply.........."And while you have it apart.......... do me a favor and change the battery". :shiner:

  5. #5
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    I like questions like: "Aren't all contact lenses the same?"

    What do you mean medicare won't pay for Giorgio Armani?

    My sunglasses are great outside, but I can't read in the house at night with them!


    But I can get complete glasses for $29.00 in an hour down the street.

    I got these contact lenses from Dr. X, what do you mean, I will have to pay you to fix them so I can wear them?

    Chip

  6. #6
    Bad address email on file OptiBoard Gold Supporter Sean's Avatar
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    Person.............tapping on the front door glass with their keys(8:15am)"What time do you open?"
    My reply.......9:00am.Her reply........."Well in that case i have a frame that need's an adjustment and it's good that i came here before you got busy..............as im in a hurry i have a plane to catch".

  7. #7
    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Big Smile

    Oh my I have so many I don't even know where to start...like a kid in a candy store you know. I know I will start with the incident yesterday. "My son's lenses were not scratched when I brought them in here" Or here's a good blast from the past..."your Dr. is a woman???" "my husband just came from the obstetrician and wants to know why he can't see out of his gls." "I don't want to see the doc can you just recommend something to use for my itching eyes?" "what do you mean I have to throw my cls out because I have pink eye?" Oh here was a personal fav of mine from the past "are you old enough to work here?"(no child labor laws don't apply to optical that is what I wanted to say) I have many more too. Need to think about some of them and get back to you.



    Steph

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    OptiBoard Professional bren_03825's Avatar
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    :hammer:
    I'm sure everyone has come across this:
    Gate is down, or door is closed, someone notices you, yells or knocks, and asks "Are you closed?"
    Reply, "no, everyone else went to dinner, and I'm the cleaning crew!"

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    Unhappy silly comments

    My favorite is....I did not buy these here, but can you fix them? they then produce something that has been run over by a truck, I explain that there isnt a hope in hell of fixing them, they reply " well i think you should give me a free new pair, i have had nothing but trouble with them since i got them" then i shout " BUT YOU DIDNT GET THEM FROM HERE !!" answered by," Does it matter?"
    Another is......"Oh they are great for reading but i cant see which bus is coming"
    Phew.. which planet do these people come from?

  10. #10
    Sawptician PAkev's Avatar
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    Heres one that erks me and is even misrepresented by the ignorance of some folks in the optical community itself.

    Dispenser: Let me tell you about a PROGRESSIVE style lens.

    Patient: Oh, thats a BIFOCAL without the line.

    Another one by those folks who know exactly what they need
    Patient: I'm wearing the "Transition" lens. You know the one without the line.

    How about the folks that inform you "I don't need anything fancy or expensive, I just want to see" and then refuse to try anything on but your highest priced designer eyewear.

    However the best one I had was the woman who insisted that she have the name Silhouette accross the bottom of her lens just like the one she picked out.

  11. #11
    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Big Smile

    Ok Kevin you started it now!! PT: was my rx written for a bifocal? ME: yes PT: but I am wearing trifocals ME: you are WEARING a no-line which automatically has an intermediate segment. PT: no but YOU don't understand I HAVE been fitted for a trifocal ME:(by this time worn out) OH OK!!! ME to myself: I am not old enough to work here anyway!! LOL!! PT: how long have you been doing this? ME: uh since about 8 am!! LOL!! PT: I can't see out of my new gls what did you do to them? ME: I put the wrong RX in them on purpose for kicks just so you would come back and bug the **** out of me!!! Ok this is just stuff I say in my head while they are asking stupid stuff but come on you guys all know you think it too!! And I just LOVE the people who tell you how to adjust/repair/fit gls if they already KNOW how to do all this stuff why in the world are they coming to ME????



    Steph

  12. #12
    Master OptiBoarder JennyP's Avatar
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    stephanie said:
    And I just LOVE the people who tell you how to adjust/repair/fit gls if they already KNOW how to do all this stuff why in the world are they coming to ME????
    AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

    And have you ever had a customer tell you that you are using a tool the wrong way or the wrong tool altogether? Have you ever thought about asking someone like this if they plan to head into the lab to make and mount their own lenses?

    ~~~JP :hammer: Yes, Stephanie, we only "think" these things.....

  13. #13
    Master OptiBoarder Joann Raytar's Avatar
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    Today, a woman came in shopping around for her mom. Her question ... "Do we have the same cords as her mother's obstetrician?"

    Now, you know exactly what image formed in my brain after hearing a sentence combining the words cords and obstetrician. It was very difficult not to chuckle after this one.

  14. #14
    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Big Smile

    Yes Jenny, I got one of those today. Apparently I didn't know how to adjust her frame so she told me exactly what I needed to do. Then I had one whose AR was coming off and tried to say that it happened the last time she came in our office and we cleaned them. She said then she went to another doc's office in Nashville and they used something to "clean" whatever mess we made of them. Does anyone know what "cleaner" fixes defective AR?? Please if you know what it is let me know so I can be ready for her the next time she comes in!!



    Steph

  15. #15
    OptiBoard Apprentice
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    How can you tell when a stupid question or comment is coming?

    It's often preceded by the phrase "I'm an engineer."
    Dan

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    "I'd be afraid I'll lose the contacts behind my eye!"

    "Did you hear about that welder that had the contact to melt on his eyes and stick?"

    "They won't let me wear my contact lenses in Chemistry, class!"





    For Stephanie: AR Stripper.

    Chip

  17. #17
    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Yes Dpaul, engineers will drive you absolutely insane. As if we didn't have enough to contend with everyday you KNOW when you get an engineer that is going to be at least an hour possibly more. Just going in circles answering the same 15-20 questions over and over again. Chip, I know the AR stripper will work to remove it but this woman was talking about a cleaner. What I figure the optician may have done was use something like Pledge to make it look less noticeable. Honestly, what I think she was really trying to do was have me say yes I am sorry we did that to your gls let me replace something you didn't even get here at no charge. Well I wasn't about to admit to her defective AR especially since 1. not our lenses 2. we could not have possibly done that kind of damage cleaning them. As far as I know there is no cleaner that will may the defective AR less noticeable short of stripping it off.


    Steph

  18. #18
    Bad address email on file optigoddess's Avatar
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    After 14 years of hearing this one....

    ....it's VERY old!

    (male patient) to female optican....

    "I need a screw" (said while chuckling under his breath)

    OR .....this one said by the highly anally retentive emerging presbyop who has a first pair of glasses (usually progressives):

    "you don't understand....I said I can't SEE with these glasses on"

    to which (after 10 minutes of verifying fit, optics etc) I asked her THIS question: so what your telling me is....when you put these glasses on, everything becomes DARK & is void of light? There is NO VISION whatsoever....incredible! (whining crybaby....):hammer:
    Last edited by optigoddess; 07-14-2002 at 09:59 PM.

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    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Big Smile

    Try this one next time a pervert tries the "I need a screw" thing: smile and politely say..."do you have a loose screw or did you lose your screw all together?" It gets the point across most of the times. Usually they don't even know how to respond to it. Perverts are the worst part of our job but unfortunately they are everywhere.





    Steph

  20. #20
    OptiBoardaholic sarahr's Avatar
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    This is the best I've heard:

    " I've never had an eye test but I need one for a job application, will I pass the colour test they ask for?" OK for the psychic element of our profession but it happens a lot!

    How many of you have men come into the practice with a repiar or adjustment, who ask for 'the man' to repair/fit them. Happens way too often.Scary.


    For the psychic patient we have this golden comment,
    "who will be testing my eyes....will I like him?"
    or "what's the opticians name? Oh no I don't think I'll like that one." Decisions made purely on the basis of a name. Scarier!

    "These glasses are only 4 years old and they're scratched.It's not good enough."

    I could go on, but I must get a life.


  21. #21
    Master OptiBoarder
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    All in yesterdays hours

    I don't need to see the doctor. I need you to you squeeze some more juice into my lens so I can see better?

    An original:
    I have a new disease you never heard of before. Its called visions. My brain cells are splitting and I see a parade in my room twice a day with the glasses on. You know little marching men, circus animals and band. I take them off and things are better. However the mean cats come out from under my bed and watch me for 6 hours.

    You mean I am supposed to use cleaner or soapy water to clean my glasses? (AR lenses are so oily it took 5 minutes to clean up).

    The right temple is at a 45 degree angle askew. "I don't know what happened to my glasses. Well sir does sitting on them come to mind? Reply: I didn't but my wife did.

  22. #22
    Bad address email on file Suzy W's Avatar
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    We had one patient who gave us too great ones while filling out the new patient information sheet. The first, he asked how to spell "Ontario" which happens to be the town we live in.
    His second question was asked while he was answering the question regarding any drugs being taken. Believe it or not, the guy actually asked Karen how to spell "weed". Personally, if you can't spell it, maybe you've been smoking it for too long.

    Suzy W

  23. #23
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    Suzy W said:
    We had one patient who gave us too great ones while filling out the new patient information sheet. The first, he asked how to spell "Ontario" which happens to be the town we live in.
    His second question was asked while he was answering the question regarding any drugs being taken. Believe it or not, the guy actually asked Karen how to spell "weed". Personally, if you can't spell it, maybe you've been smoking it for too long.

    Suzy W
    Suzy,
    If you smoke too much of it then you lose braincells needed to spell!
    :hammer:
    ~Cindy

    "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Catherine Aird-

  24. #24
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    Bev Heishman said:
    An original:
    I have a new disease you never heard of before. Its called visions. My brain cells are splitting and I see a parade in my room twice a day with the glasses on. You know little marching men, circus animals and band. I take them off and things are better. However the mean cats come out from under my bed and watch me for 6 hours.
    Bev,
    Are you sure Suzy's "weed" smoker didn't find his way to PA?
    ~Cindy

    "If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Catherine Aird-

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    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Big Smile

    Ok girls I am positively CRYING from all the laughter!! How in the world did you wait on him without laughing your butt off, Bev. I know I would be on the floor. We had a goober in today who had been complaining of his Comforts well I offered to upgrade him to the Panamic...well as fate would have it the lab had originally for some reason screwed up and he was already wearing Panamic...final outcome: he LOVED the new Panamic it was so much better than the comforts...ah another satisfied customer!! LOL!! I don't get these people!!! LOL!! We need to write a book!


    Steph

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