workplace violence

**ih8wlmrt** · 03-30-2010, 03:32 PM

today in my shopping center an employee of the publix gocery store just a few doors down from my store was fired, she went home got a gun and came back and shot her dept. manager in is car in the parking lot right in front of my store. she then went into the publix and had a shootout with the police. I did not know the manager she killed, I feel horrible for his family. The parking lot has been full of police all day, news crews and helicopters over head. they evacuated the shopping center at one point. I am in shock, and am very sad. I wonder if this is only the beginning - will we be seeing more of this with the economy and the unemployment? this is a great little town and it has always seemed pretty safe to me. an occassional shoplifter but nothing scary. unemployment is very high here, lots of foreclosures, lots of businesses closing. I have been thinking about closing mine. Just wondering if other people have experienced this kind of thing, how do you keep from being scared to go to work everyday? It seems like the world has gone crazy.

**DragonLensmanWV** · 03-30-2010, 04:18 PM

Just remember that this sort of stuff has been going on for 50 years or more. Maybe you can argue that easier access to illegal weapons and irresponsible use of legitimate weapons has something to do with it. I don't know, I think when someone goes bonkers like that they would use a spear if that's all they had. You just had the bad luck to be nearby when it happened. There used to be a high school across from us and I've seen several students run down (usually they stepped out in front of a car while staring intently at their phone) and a cheerleader advisor teacher get killed. So buck up! Think how low the odds are of it happening again!

**obxeyeguy** · 03-30-2010, 07:15 PM

Sorry you had to go through that, but as Dragon pointed out, it has nothing to do with guns, they will use what ever they can find. People snap for a lot of reasons, and in fact will do crazy things in response. It's too bad that innocent people get caught up in these scenerios, and pay the price.

how do you keep from being scared to go to work everyday?

http://www.optiboard.com/forums/grou...discussionid=2

**Spexvet** · 03-31-2010, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by obxeyeguy

http://www.optiboard.com/forums/grou...discussionid=2

So don't fire any of these guys.:p

**ih8wlmrt** · 03-31-2010, 08:58 AM

Its not the guns that scare me. Its people who scare me. It seems to me that everyone is so stressed out and everyone is on the verge of losing there mind. I think the current economic situation is causing more normal people to snap under the pressure. I guess I have lived a very sheltered life, when I think about it I have never really experienced any level of violence. I never had a fight even as a kid, never even really was a witness to any violence, I guess that is why this has hit me kind of hard. Having a dead body lying in the parking lot all day just kind of freeked me out.
Monday I had a patient lose it and go off on the Dr. when he wanted to dialate her eyes, she stormed out of the exam room and out the front door screaming at the top of her lungs, then she walked back in and asked for her records and continued to scream at the Dr. calling him an egomaniac and saying he had a god complex. It was weird and disturbing, again not something I had ever experienced in over 23 years in the optical business. I have no idea what set her off or why having a couple of drops put in her eyes was so offensive. My Dr. is in no way arrogant, he is if anything a little bit shy and very personable. I spent all of monday feeling kind of sick to my stomach over her and actually had an optical nightmare monday night, then I come in tuesday morning and there is another crazy lady shooting people in the parking lot.
this morning when I woke up I threw up and had a very hard time dragging myself to the office. I don't want to be here and its not about the work, its about the crazy people all around me who could at any moment go off and start shooting, or stabbing or clubbing with a baseball bat. I think I now understand how people become agoraphobic(is that the correct term for people who never leave the house?)

**Fezz** · 03-31-2010, 09:05 AM

Watch the movie Falling Down.

It seems many people may be on the brink!

I think there are a whole lotta stressed out wack jobs out there!

Hang in there, get some help with this, talk to somebody! Life is short, make the most of it. Don't get sick about! Learn from it!

**ih8wlmrt** · 03-31-2010, 09:19 AM

thanks for the encouragement, I think I will be over it in a couple of days, I will make an appointment with someone if I can't get it out of my head.
I have seen the movie falling down, and fear that many people are on the brink also.
So what should we learn from it? (not being a smart a**) I really want to know what I should do now, what should the take away from this incident be? whats the moral of the story?

**Fezz** · 03-31-2010, 09:33 AM

Originally Posted by ih8wlmrt

So what should we learn from it? (not being a smart a**) I really want to know what I should do now, what should the take away from this incident be? whats the moral of the story?

There really is no answer. The answer lies within each of us. Let this be a time of soul searching. Realize that life can be gone in a blink of an eye, or a shot from a gun! Grasp life while you can! We are all only here for a short time! I love sunrises and try to be awake and watch as many as I can! Do you know why? Sure they can be beautiful, but I strive to capture each one, because each one may be my last! One never knows!

Will you realize that this could have been you, or one you loved? Will you prepare to defend yourself and those you love, or will you cowar and wallow in fear? I have written on other threads about moral obligation to carry firearms, and such. What will you do if you are confronted with such a situation? Who will be there to help? Are you prepared?

I like a saying that a Dude on YouTube has:

"If you are not always prepared, you are never prepared!"

**Fezz** · 03-31-2010, 09:40 AM

PM sent.

**Uncle Fester** · 03-31-2010, 10:10 AM

That this is your first near death experience in what I'm guessing is around 40 years of life is pretty remarkable. Somewhere (I forget where) years ago I remember reading how we should all expect 2 or 3 such events in our lives. These people are mentally ill and in the case of the murderer probably suicidal but unable to kill herself hoped for the police to do it for her.

You are wise to recognize that if your feelings of apprehension and anxiety persist or especially if they get worse professional help should be sought. Often times events like these are triggers for other underlying issues that your subconscious wants you to address.

Meanwhile give those you love an extra hard hug and keep in mind we're all here being challenged to see if we can live by the golden rule. (Not an easy thing to do!:))

**ih8wlmrt** · 03-31-2010, 11:32 AM

good call on a couple of points, it is remarkable how untouched by ugliness my 40+ years have been. I have to appreciate that my life has been so uneventful. I also think that my subconscious wants me to address some underlying issues. You sure you are in the right profession? maybe you should be a shrink. Fezz pointed out that we should all appreciate each day, live each day like it is our last. I think that is what my subconconscious wants me to do. I need to make some changes and start living and stop just existing. I get up everyday and just go through the motions, I spend my time worrying about money and business. Always thinking there will be time for the things I want to do later. Always thinking next month or next year I will have the time, and the energy and the money.....
I have been fighting a losing battle keeping my business open for years, its time to give up the ghost and move on. spend my time with my kids before they are grown and gone.

thank you for the good vibes!

**Uncle Fester** · 03-31-2010, 02:34 PM

Andrew Weiss is a friend and former co worker who may give you unique perspective and help as he is an Optician (among other things) who is now focused on his 2 greatest loves- teaching and spirituality.

Check out his web site-

http://www.beginningmindfulness.com/beginninghome.html

**RX4Spex** · 03-31-2010, 03:20 PM

It seems there is definitely an increase in violence among the public. I know in our office we have our share of crazies. For example, the 80 year old man who threatened to kick my a** because the doctor was taking too long with his wife (she had only been in the office for 45 min.), another man came to our office constantly drunk (5 or 6 times) and made sexual advances toward the staff and made other patients so uncomfortable they waited in their cars to be seen by the doctor, or the patient yelling at the receptionist because the doctor has her on a one month interval for changing out her contacts. When I first started in this business I couldn't believe how jaded other opticians were about their patients. Now, I'm more jaded than anyone. After 15 years, I need to find another line of work.

**bbnfwtx** · 03-31-2010, 04:19 PM

I used to work in an office that did a lot of medicaid, we would just call the police on anyone that got out of hand. Its funny how people calm down once the law shows up to have a little chat with them.

**FullCircle** · 04-01-2010, 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by ih8wlmrt

how do you keep from being scared to go to work everyday? It seems like the world has gone crazy.

The crazies have always been there, it's just that right now we're noticing them more as is the media. How do I keep from being scared? Same way I keep from being scared going shopping, driving on the expressway, or doing a host of different things. Simply by being aware of my world. I can't let them get to me, nor can I let fear overtake my brain. If I did, what kind of life is that?

Look, 3 months ago, I lost my best friend when she was killed by a train. My last communication with her was roughly 2 minutes before she was struck. I could sit here and wallow in my grief, missing our daily text message banter (which would start about this time of the morning) and knowing I'll never see her again. But I can't, and depending on the day, it's a struggle not to. If I did, what kind of life is that? Am I living it for me and those she left behind, or am I letting someone else control it?

It's the same thing for you. Don't let the crazies win :)

**ih8wlmrt** · 04-01-2010, 11:00 AM

so sorry about the loss of your friend, I can't even emagine how hard that is for you.
I think the reason this is messing with my head is that I am so unhappy in my current situation and this brought home the fact that life is short and any of us could be gone in an instant. I am struggling with reality, I guess.
It is very strange, a man died a horrific violent death right out my front door and everything goes on like nothing happend. I stood here this am being *****ed at about a broken nose pad for a good 10 minutes on and on and on she ranted about something so trivial, I just stood there looking over her shoulder out the window at the balloon and flower memorial in the parking lot. I really don't know what it is I feel.
I do know I can't do this anymore. I need to find a way out of this business. I am waisting my life being the publics door mat, letting people walk all over me because I need their business and I need them to refer their friends and family- ugggggg even with thier friends and families I can't pay the bills. I have to get out.

**For-Life** · 04-01-2010, 11:15 AM

Guns don't kill people
People kill people

Unfortunately, we provide guns to those people.

**norrimac** · 04-01-2010, 11:36 AM

You sound really down! No wonder...

I work with opticians in the UK and Spain to boost their businesses. I'm a specialist in marketing for Independent Optical Practices.

A lot of them are struggling like you are, my friend.

Our systems are not currently available in the USA and even if they were, I wouldn't pitch them on the Optiboard. (It's really interesting and I don't want to get banned!)

You sound like you need help in your business. This I can do, but there's no money involved.

If you're serious about quitting, then I understand. But of you have the cojones to try something new, I'm willing to help. No charge/no obligation/no payments. (But it will have to be off the Optiboard as I don't want my business mentioned here.)

All you need is a new direction and some fresh input. I can do that.

Best,

Norman.

Originally Posted by ih8wlmrt

so sorry about the loss of your friend, I can't even emagine how hard that is for you.
I think the reason this is messing with my head is that I am so unhappy in my current situation and this brought home the fact that life is short and any of us could be gone in an instant. I am struggling with reality, I guess.
It is very strange, a man died a horrific violent death right out my front door and everything goes on like nothing happend. I stood here this am being *****ed at about a broken nose pad for a good 10 minutes on and on and on she ranted about something so trivial, I just stood there looking over her shoulder out the window at the balloon and flower memorial in the parking lot. I really don't know what it is I feel.
I do know I can't do this anymore. I need to find a way out of this business. I am waisting my life being the publics door mat, letting people walk all over me because I need their business and I need them to refer their friends and family- ugggggg even with thier friends and families I can't pay the bills. I have to get out.

**Bill West** · 04-02-2010, 06:41 AM

Originally Posted by FullCircle

The crazies have always been there, it's just that right now we're noticing them more as is the media. How do I keep from being scared? Same way I keep from being scared going shopping, driving on the expressway, or doing a host of different things. Simply by being aware of my world. I can't let them get to me, nor can I let fear overtake my brain. If I did, what kind of life is that?

Look, 3 months ago, I lost my best friend when she was killed by a train. My last communication with her was roughly 2 minutes before she was struck. I could sit here and wallow in my grief, missing our daily text message banter (which would start about this time of the morning) and knowing I'll never see her again. But I can't, and depending on the day, it's a struggle not to. If I did, what kind of life is that? Am I living it for me and those she left behind, or am I letting someone else control it?

It's the same thing for you. Don't let the crazies win :)

Was she texting and did not see the train?

**FullCircle** · 04-02-2010, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by Bill West

Was she texting and did not see the train?

I don't have an absolute answer about that. I haven't brought myself to read a copy of the final accident report. It's one of those things...once you read it, you can't unread it you know?

One thing I do know from the piecing together of some things witnesses said, she wasn't the only one that crossed the tracks. Seems they all thought it was the Metra that was due in, however it was an Amtrak that was over 2 hours behnd schedule and was doing roughly 80mph through the station. bells at the station were working as was the train horn. as this is at a station, there are no crssing gates

The whole thing was one of the reason s i was MIA from here for a while. Didnt figure it was appropriate to lash out at some of the things i've read here.

Either way, i apologize to the OP for hijacking this thread. Please remember that the work we all do is never in vain. Not everyone appreciates it but let's be honest the good majority of us don't appreciate every person we come across in a day either. Perhaps a change is in order. Maybe it doesn't mean closing up shop, maybe it means making some changes to how things are done.

I hope for your sanity, you figure it out :) If there's anything I can do, please let me know!

**WFruit** · 04-15-2010, 11:33 AM

Roughly 20 years ago, I was a 16 year old working at a pizza shop about a 10 minute walk from my house. In the shopping center where we were, all of the stores except us closed around 9pm. Being the local pizza shop, we closed at midnight, which of course made us a prime target to be robbed.

Which is exactly what happened one night while I was there. Two guys came in, ski masks and a gun. The manager went to trigger the manual release on the cash register, no resistance, no problems. I will never know why, but the one guy shot him in the chest. I was three feet away. I don't know if he though the manager was triggering an alarm, or going for a gun of his own, or just panicked, or the trigger was more sensetive than he though..... I don't remember them leaving, I don't remember turning to the other person who was also there, or calling 911, or much else from that night. I do remember the manager lying on the ground behind the counter, and the pool of blood just getting bigger..... I found out at around 10am the next morning that he didn't make it.

You honestly sound like you're on the brink as well, though not of violence, but of perhaps a nervous breakdown. It's certainly tramatic what happened in your parking lot, and should never be forgotten. But Life does go on. It always has, no matter what happens, from one person being shot in their car, to millions killed because the leader of a country didn't like them.

I think that it's a societial issue at it's root, and I'm not going to get into a long explaination of reasoning here, but I fully expect to see a lot more of this happening in the future.

If you've been fighting to keep your shop open, then perhaps it's time to close it. But make sure that you're closing it for the right reasons. In all things in life, you MUST do what is best for you and your family.

As far as how you feel, and coping with work, talk to people about it. Of course there are a lot of us here who will be happy to give you our advice and encouragement, but talking in person will help to. Talk with family, or a group of friends. Church is good as well. If there is a local small business organization, that may help as well, as there are probably a good number of small business owers who may have gone through similar incidents.

In the end, keep your chin up and do what is best for you. Perhaps as opposed to closing, relocation would be an option. In any case, our thoughts are with you.

**ih8wlmrt** · 04-15-2010, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by WFruit

If you've been fighting to keep your shop open, then perhaps it's time to close it. But make sure that you're closing it for the right reasons. In all things in life, you MUST do what is best for you and your family.

As far as how you feel, and coping with work, talk to people about it. Of course there are a lot of us here who will be happy to give you our advice and encouragement, but talking in person will help to. Talk with family, or a group of friends. Church is good as well. If there is a local small business organization, that may help as well, as there are probably a good number of small business owers who may have gone through similar incidents.

In the end, keep your chin up and do what is best for you. Perhaps as opposed to closing, relocation would be an option. In any case, our thoughts are with you.

I did think I was going to have a nervous breakdown- managed to get it under control- the entire episode caused me to take a real close look at how my life was going- and how I am unhappy with things the way they are.
I spent alot of time contemplating the meaning of life- my life anyway. I have come to many conclusions and made some major decisions.
My lease on my shop comes due in November- the landlord wants to triple my rent and add a bunch of cam fees - I can't afford it, I struggle to pay the rent now. So I will be closing my shop at the end of november if not sooner. Unless something magical happens and a knight on a white horse rides in and buys the place- I hope to be able to take a few months off to spend time with my family- actualy take a vacation with my kids, and relax. after 15 years of 6 days a week 52 weeks a year in the same 4 walls I think I am done. I just hope I can find a part time job at a private practice when I am ready- the economy being what it is I may have trouble finding work and might have to do the "chain store" thing, I hope I don't end up with a wallyworld name tag. but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I am doing much better now-