Men are just men...Does this bother anyone?

**Night Train** · 08-12-2009, 10:05 AM

"Dating is just dating. Men are just men. You know, it's all the same at the end of the day"

This was a quotation I heard on the radio last night on my way home. I found myself wondering...what if I had said this instead using "women" instead of "men"

My quote would then be:

"Dating is just dating. Women are just women. You know, it's all the same at the end of the day"

I think women would be upset by this quote. As I am slightly bothered by Miss Weaver's quote. I like to think that not all men (or women) are the same. Dating isn't just dating. It can be....but not as a rule. At the end of the day, I think it matters more than this quote seems to imply.

Here is the story for some context:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...ryId=111781484

**k12311997** · 08-12-2009, 10:33 AM

The statement kinda got my blood up until I read the article. yes people are people it doesn't matter what your skin color is. I don't think the statement is meant to be all men are the same just that we are men they are women and you shouldn't let skin color limit your choices.

**hcjilson** · 08-12-2009, 01:18 PM

Women are very touchy about sexism and rightfully so. If you don't believe me just use the term vacuum cleaner and the word women in the same sentence (in any order) and you will see what I mean.

What women fail to realize is that sexism works both ways. I've been trying to explain this to some fellow workers (female) and they just don't get it. It has never bothered me before, but a recent situation arose in the office which was blatant sexism against men. I am steamed about it but keeping my mouth shut in order to keep the peace. (never one of my strong points so you can only guess at my frustration) I am with Night Train on this one.

**Jana Lewis** · 08-12-2009, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Night Train

"Dating is just dating. Men are just men. You know, it's all the same at the end of the day"

This was a quotation I heard on the radio last night on my way home. I found myself wondering...what if I had said this instead using "women" instead of "men"

My quote would then be:

"Dating is just dating. Women are just women. You know, it's all the same at the end of the day"

I think women would be upset by this quote. As I am slightly bothered by Miss Weaver's quote. I like to think that not all men (or women) are the same. Dating isn't just dating. It can be....but not as a rule. At the end of the day, I think it matters more than this quote seems to imply.

Here is the story for some context:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...ryId=111781484

Yeah and Women haven't been on the least end of the stick forever either.

**Jacqui** · 08-12-2009, 05:06 PM

Even though I'm a Radical, Ultra Left Wing, Tree Hugging, Femi-Nazi,

I must agree with Harry. Sexism does work both ways and both ways hurt people.

**Wes** · 08-12-2009, 06:15 PM

I'm a regular NPR listener, and I heard the entire interview. I found nothing wrong with Ms. Weaver's statement. It MUST be taken in context. Of course, out of context, I may have found it demeaning, but if you heard the whole story, you would know she meant no ill will. Most of the time that people are quoted, the context must be known to understand the intent. Only the greatest of quotes can stand alone with no context to clarify.
Wes

**Now I See** · 08-13-2009, 10:35 AM

I have heard and seen many things like this...and yes, it makes me feel frustrated. One example is a carpet cleaning ad...it talks about getting your carpets cleaned because of the "things" that happen in life and one image they show is of a husband using the blender and he leaves the lid off and the shake (or whatever he had in there) spews out everywhere...
:finger: I think that they should follow that up with an image of a wife doing something foolish too, like mowing the lawn, and getting the mower stuck in a ditch, then walking over the carpet with dirty shoes on. [no, I, uh, have no experience with something like that.(in my defense, I did NOT walk over the carpet with dirty shoes on!)..ah-hem, not me, no sir-ee! :o]

**Night Train** · 08-13-2009, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by wss2020

I'm a regular NPR listener, and I heard the entire interview. I found nothing wrong with Ms. Weaver's statement. It MUST be taken in context. Of course, out of context, I may have found it demeaning, but if you heard the whole story, you would know she meant no ill will. Most of the time that people are quoted, the context must be known to understand the intent. Only the greatest of quotes can stand alone with no context to clarify.
Wes

I understand what you are saying. I also readily admit that I tuned in half way through the story. well said!

**AdmiralKnight** · 08-13-2009, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by hcjilson

Women are very touchy about sexism and rightfully so. If you don't believe me just use the term vacuum cleaner and the word women in the same sentence (in any order) and you will see what I mean.

What women fail to realize is that sexism works both ways. I've been trying to explain this to some fellow workers (female) and they just don't get it. It has never bothered me before, but a recent situation arose in the office which was blatant sexism against men. I am steamed about it but keeping my mouth shut in order to keep the peace. (never one of my strong points so you can only guess at my frustration) I am with Night Train on this one.

Society in general is fine with sexism, as long as it's against men. Just look at any tv show, movie, etc. Couple gets into a fight. Woman smacks man across the face. You see it all the time, and there's no outrage. Reverse that? You wouldn't be able to show the movie on daytime tv.

You should bring your concern to your employer. Even if you don't publicly talk about it, you should let them know how you feel.

**GAgal** · 08-13-2009, 08:06 PM

I think that in today's society, we have a tendency to overreact to past transgressions and try to make up for them today. Unfortunately, when this occurs, innocent individuals suffer. Now, even though this quote was taken out of context, the reaction to it does show the tough spot that men are put in. I feel sorry for the guys. In the media they are portrayed as idiots who can't function in life and aren't they so lucky they found a woman to take care of them, single men who sleep around because they are lost and broken and they need a woman who can show them the error of their ways and change them, or total @$$e$ who are greedy, bitter and lonely and hate the world. However, there has not been an outcry over this type of stereotyping because men have a tendency to suck it up and move on because hurt feelings are seen as a sign of weakness.

So, I would like to say to the guys out there, because you may not hear it enough, I think that you are wonderful! I think that you are caring, considerate, and loving. Even when you make us angry and cry, you also make us laugh and feel safe and cared for. You are our friends, partners, fathers, brothers, and sons. Thank you for all that you do. :cheers:

**Pete Hanlin** · 08-13-2009, 08:12 PM

Since the subject has come up (just ranting in general- I don't listen to NPR anymore, so I have no idea what the person said or why)...

Last year, everyone was required to take a workplace sensitivity course. The second the video comes on, I noted there was one middle-aged white male among the five or so workers, and I thought "Yep, he's going to be the insensitive moron!"

Sure enough, in each scenario, its the middle-aged white guy who makes an inappropriate advance, a racial remark, or some other ugly behavior. The guy is a total HR nightmare- a real monster. Of course, all of the OTHER workers are model citizens who are just constantly being terrorized by Mr. Senseless Moron...

Don't get me wrong, I "get it." In this country, real discrimination has been (and continues to be) suffered by women, minorities, and those who have chosen alternative lifestyles. However, sexism, racism, bigotry, and intolerance all run in both directions. My particular gender, race, religion, sexual preference, and education level probably does make me among the least likely of all people to be the target of actual discrimination. However, those same traits also seem to create an "open season" for others to attach negative stereotypes to me- regardless of who I am as a person- with the expectation that no offense should be taken or even noted.

Just a couple weeks ago, I was watching Gen. Powell talk about the situation with the police officer and President Obama's friend. The general made a comment to the effect that "Every black person in America has suffered from discrimination at some point in his or her life." Something about the remark really bothered me (even though I'm sure that statement is probably fundamentally true). Finally, I put my finger on it. I really REALLY wish the general would have followed that statement up by saying "but that's not to say that every white person in America has discriminated against someone at some point in her or his lifetime."

I'm not suggesting that racism (or any other prejudice) has been eradicated in America. I do think we've arrived at a point where it is inaccurate to describe American society as "racist," however. I also believe there are plenty of places where "the old boy's club" exists- but I don't think sexism is either rampant or tolerated in our society, either.

And that's all I have to say about that (as Forrest Gump might say :^)...

**hcjilson** · 08-13-2009, 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by AdmiralKnight

You should bring your concern to your employer. Even if you don't publicly talk about it, you should let them know how you feel.

I am not an employee, its an office in which I sublet space. The advice I was given some years back by the wisest woman I know (I married her) was to stay out of office politics.....which I am assiduously doing......but my lips are sore from where I have been biting them!

**DragonLensmanWV** · 08-14-2009, 12:54 PM

If you really want to see sexism, just watch any movie on the Lifetime Movie Network. Sheesh!

**FullCircle** · 08-14-2009, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by Night Train

"Dating is just dating. Men are just men. You know, it's all the same at the end of the day"

This was a quotation I heard on the radio last night on my way home. I found myself wondering...what if I had said this instead using "women" instead of "men"

My quote would then be:

"Dating is just dating. Women are just women. You know, it's all the same at the end of the day"

I think women would be upset by this quote. As I am slightly bothered by Miss Weaver's quote. I like to think that not all men (or women) are the same. Dating isn't just dating. It can be....but not as a rule. At the end of the day, I think it matters more than this quote seems to imply.

Here is the story for some context:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...ryId=111781484

Even without reading the article, I can say the quote did not bother me. Nor would the revised quote using "women" in place of "men."

Men are just men. Women are just women. Neither is perfect, neither is better than the other. They are JUST what they are. ESPECIALLY when "dating is just dating" is before it.

I've seen too often where people (of both sexes) make dating out to be some large production where they think birds will chirp, cherubs will sing, etc. Often these are the same folks that get so caught up in everything that they elevate the object of their desire to an almost godlike status. Which sucks for all involved when the god takes a misstep and the pedestal gets yanked out from under them.

But, what do I know, I'm an odd chick. I have no problem with getting vacuums, cooking utensils, etc for gift giving occasions. Honestly, I often ask for them.

Also, I'm very much against the demasculating of the American man.