Craziest things you've heard from patients...

**ISU Percussion** · 07-08-2008, 12:17 AM

I have so many stories, but I'll just start with a couple.

I've had more than a few patients try on some frames and tell me that they don't see any better out of them. I then explain that we still have to put Rx lenses in them . . .

Even scarier are the people who tell me that their vision is so much better after trying on the 1st pair . . . yeah, who needs Rx lenses, cheap demo lenses work just as well!

One of my favorites though was a CL patient who I had helped a week before he called me and asked how he could tell if a contact lens was in or not. Well since his Rx was -7.00 OU I asked him if he could see clearly. He then hung up.

**Happylady** · 07-08-2008, 07:57 AM

These are great stories!

I guess this is more something crazy someone did rather then said. A woman brought in her husband's broken glasses. His 2 year old niece grabbed them and broke the end piece of his Aspex drill mount while on vacation.

I told her I could order an end piece for just a few dollars....but then I looked closer and he had glued the broken piece to the lens!

Of course she denied it at first, but then admitted it.

Why do people keep trying to glue frames? What would have been cheap becomes very expensive since the lens also needs to be replaced.

**Leighlee** · 07-08-2008, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by chip anderson

Leighlee:
They come from offices that don't examine (independent opticians. I get about a dozen people a week that either call or come in wanting an eye exam. Of course we have to ask if it's a prosthetic eye which we do examine.
If a patient comes in your office and the first thing he sees is an optical dispensary, he has no way of knowing if you have an in-house docotor.

Chip

It is an ophthalmology practice...with a dispensary open to the waiting room. One would think it would be apparent...maybe not.

**opt2012** · 07-08-2008, 09:25 AM

Originally Posted by Happylady

These are great stories!

I guess this is more something crazy someone did rather then said. A woman brought in her husband's broken glasses. His 2 year old niece grabbed them and broke the end piece of his Aspex drill mount while on vacation.

I told her I could order an end piece for just a few dollars....but then I looked closer and he had glued the broken piece to the lens!

Of course she denied it at first, but then admitted it.

Why do people keep trying to glue frames? What would have been cheap becomes very expensive since the lens also needs to be replaced.

I hate when people glue frames. We would also get the occasional paper clip or staple shoved in, or someone would take the time to use a needle and thread to keep it together. At least we could usually get those out and give them a new screw. A couple times we had people use GUM. People, that is DISGUSTING. We don't want to touch your chewed up gum!! Especially when now it has your glasses gunk all over it

**maggiferous** · 07-08-2008, 09:53 AM

Had a kid the other day that used clay from his art class...I opened the case to put a new eyewire screw in and blinked, then asked the mother what the green stuff was. She looked down, up at me, and said "Don't things sometimes turn green on glasses?" Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I looked at the kid, and asked him, and he told me the thing about the clay. The mother did not resist the eye-rolling urge.

**specti-wolf** · 07-08-2008, 10:16 AM

One of my favorites happened a few months ago. Engineer guy comes in with lost screw. He was "brilliant" to put his paper clip in there, but since he waited quite awhile to come in for a new screw, the paper clip wallowed out the barrel threads. My "tapper" didn't work, so I threw on a nut and bolt to hold. He didn't thank me.

He told me I was the most inept optician he had ever seen, told me he would report me to the board, and insisted I put his paper clip back in.

Sheesh. I am glad he didn't notice that the paper clip was not the original.

**Uncle Fester** · 07-08-2008, 12:12 PM

A women with dark brown irises comes in to the shop I worked with mrmac in downtown Boston many years ago. She sits down at the dispensing table and I go over and sit down across from her and ask, "How can I help you?"

"What color are my eyes?"

"Brown."

"They used to be blue."

"Well that's not uncommon as babies the eyes color is often lighter than when we're older."

"Oh no they were blue last week."

"OoKaayyy--Maybe you should see a doctor. There are several in the hospital just a few blocks away."

"Oh I can't go there. They think I'm crazy."

**buckeyeguy** · 07-08-2008, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by Jamelina

This morning actually I had a patient come in wanting an adjustment. He gave me his glasses and asked why we always have to take them back to the "secret cave" to fix them. I explained that is where we keep all of our tools and parts (in the lab). It's easier to have them in one spot. Once I returned and had him put his glasses on he said "I swear you guys snort a line or something when you go back there." What do you say to that? I think that's the weirdest thing a patient has ever said to me.

Wow! if that were true we'd never make it home at night.

**opt2012** · 07-08-2008, 06:04 PM

We've had patients try to come into our "secret cave" so they can watch us. Get out!! The lab is back here for a reason!!!

We never had drugs back there but there was always good food. :bbg:

**va_optikal** · 07-08-2008, 10:06 PM

I get to do my repairs right in front of the patient. :)

**fjpod** · 07-09-2008, 06:08 AM

Had a middle aged woman once who had been wearing soft CLs for at least 20 years. One day a lens fell out on her while she was in a super market. In a panic (or maybe because she felt she couldn't drive home and had no emergency eyeglasses or CLs with her), she had the supermarket manager call an ambulance for her. She tried to justify the need for the ambulance by saying that she thought something serious went wrong with her vision. Anyway, she called our office later and told this whole story and then demanded that we pay for her ambulance because her insurance wouldn't pay for it. Of course we said no. She and her family still come to us. I guess this is a good thing?

**obxeyeguy** · 07-09-2008, 07:49 AM

Yesterday this guy comes in and starts looking at sunglasses. I have a glass display case that I use to highlight some women's styles (10) and a large rota tor about 2 feet away. He asks me about suns and I start walking to them. Is this all you have? (looking at the 10display)
No sir, men's are on this display.
Oh, didn't see that one.
I like this one(rayban with G15)
I hand him a costa with a brn lens in it.
No, I don't like that lens
Sir, that is just a plano, not your Rx.
It isn't?
I didn't see you walk up or I would have ran all of these off in your Rx if I had more time

Duh!!

**EyeFitWell** · 07-09-2008, 12:58 PM

Originally Posted by opt2012

This guy comes in and says he needs some good sturdy frames. So we show him the titaniums. He says "These won't work. Titanium melts at 4000 degrees and I am a welder." Uh. Because we have frames made of some other type of metal that even the sun won't melt.

ROTFLMAO!
Wonder what material the welding mask is made of?

**EyeFitWell** · 07-09-2008, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by opt2012

We've had patients try to come into our "secret cave" so they can watch us. Get out!! The lab is back here for a reason!!!

We never had drugs back there but there was always good food. :bbg:

I'm just sick of the dramatic sharp inhale "Huhh!!!!!" when I bend the temple tip...like I'm gonna break them right there. Does the public think frames are just one size fits all? lol

**opt2012** · 07-09-2008, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by EyeFitWell

I'm just sick of the dramatic sharp inhale "Huhh!!!!!" when I bend the temple tip...like I'm gonna break them right there. Does the public think frames are just one size fits all? lol

I know!! Or when they see us adjusting zyl frames by bending them at the bridge. "WHAAAAAAAAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY GLASSES?!?!?!" Truthfully, I hate adjusting zyl frames, I'm always scared I'm going to snap the frame in half. I DID break a woman's Silhouette once. I wanted to just crawl in the floor and die. To my defense though, wherever she got them put her in plastic lenses and one of them snapped in half. If it had been poly I probably would have been okay. It was terrible. She was like a -3.50 and couldn't see a thing without her glasses. We had to tape her lens together until her new pair was ready. :o

I had this one woman come in, she's a regular and she ALWAYS has to get her nosepads adjusted by this one particular employee because everyone else "does it wrong". Well she came in and I happened to be the one working that day so I adjusted her nosepads. She didn't like it so I did it again. This probably happened fifteen times before she said "Just forget it. I'll come back later!!!" So she did, and there was someone else with me. So she adjusted the nosepads. (Happened to be the manager.) She did it about fifteen times too before the woman was satisfied. She said "You really need to teach your... PEOPLE how to adjust nosepads!!!!"

**Ory** · 07-09-2008, 08:24 PM

Originally Posted by opt2012

I had this one woman come in, she's a regular and she ALWAYS has to get her nosepads adjusted by this one particular employee because everyone else "does it wrong". Well she came in and I happened to be the one working that day so I adjusted her nosepads. She didn't like it so I did it again. This probably happened fifteen times before she said "Just forget it. I'll come back later!!!" So she did, and there was someone else with me. So she adjusted the nosepads. (Happened to be the manager.) She did it about fifteen times too before the woman was satisfied. She said "You really need to teach your... PEOPLE how to adjust nosepads!!!!"

Get used to it. When you're the doctor it will be you with "magic fingers" I guarantee. I have some patients who will sit for half an hour so I can adjust their specs; ignore the fact that my staff do this all day long and are likely better at it than I.

**opt2012** · 07-09-2008, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by Ory

Get used to it. When you're the doctor it will be you with "magic fingers" I guarantee. I have some patients who will sit for half an hour so I can adjust their specs; ignore the fact that my staff do this all day long and are likely better at it than I.

You have patients that ask you to adjust? I never really thought about patients asking the OD to do it... but I guess it happens often enough.

**Jamelina** · 07-10-2008, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by opt2012

You have patients that ask you to adjust? I never really thought about patients asking the OD to do it... but I guess it happens often enough.

Oh yea. At the office I used to work for we had patients all the time coming in and would only let the doctor touch their glasses. They didn't care how long they had to wait.

**buckeyeguy** · 07-10-2008, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by va_optikal

I get to do my repairs right in front of the patient. :)

I hate doing repairs in front of patients!:)

**buckeyeguy** · 07-10-2008, 07:11 PM

Originally Posted by opt2012

You have patients that ask you to adjust? I never really thought about patients asking the OD to do it... but I guess it happens often enough.

I think it's kind of funny whatching our OD do it... If a patient asks him to do it he kind of panics

**Happylady** · 07-10-2008, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by Jamelina

Oh yea. At the office I used to work for we had patients all the time coming in and would only let the doctor touch their glasses. They didn't care how long they had to wait.

Interesting. I have worked at the same place for over 15 years and have never seen the doctor do an adjustment. No one has ever asked her to.

I bet that if people are asking the doctor to adjust their glasses it is because at some point the doctor did dispenses and adjustments and patients got used to it. I know some doctor's offices have very little help when starting out and the doctor will step in and sell and fit glasses and adjust glasses.

**LENNY** · 07-10-2008, 08:24 PM

Originally Posted by specti-wolf

Sheesh. I am glad he didn't notice that the paper clip was not the original.

You are a thief too!

**AdmiralKnight** · 07-10-2008, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by Happylady

Interesting. I have worked at the same place for over 15 years and have never seen the doctor do an adjustment. No one has ever asked her to.

I've never had someone ask, but in the last office I worked in, there were points where I was the only optician working, with 3 OD's going strong. Dr Webber was always on the lookout to see if I was swamped and was never too busy to change a set of nosepads to help. Bless him. haha :D

**snotbagel** · 07-10-2008, 10:48 PM

Not even ONE of you handed the repaired specs back to the patient and said "there's a NUT LOOSE behind the glasses"......??????

How about ( I read about this, then actually heard it from my own patient) these enzyme tablets..bother my stomach (yes, she was EATING THEM!)

How many times does a patient come in with mangled glasses, that "always get loose", but you have a hard time bending them back even with pliers? Do they have Uri Gellar living with them?

A new one, the latest Transitions lenses change so fast that patients don't realize that they change..bring them back and complain..until I demonstrate..and they can't beleive that it's their own glasses.

I get patients that have been overcorrected in one eye, and under in the other. Their new glasses are never right...they've been monovision in specs and bifocals just don't cut it. Why can CL patients switch back to specs, but not these nutjobs?

Worked with a guy who always said "I'll put them in the Neutronuim bath" with a straightface, and not one patient even batted an eye.

**finefocus** · 07-11-2008, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by buckeyeguy

I hate doing repairs in front of patients!:)

I always do the adjustments and repairs (except solders) right at the table (the salt pan is only 2 steps away) so that the patient sees what's going on - boosts their confidence, quiets their paranoia, saves me a lot of time, and gives me a chance to chat with/educate the patient - if you are confident of your skills, why not?