Chip's sick Humor and Religious humor.

[chip anderson]

Today we had a lesson from Deutoronomy concering Joseph.
The teacher went on about how Joseph told Pharoh to put 20% away from each of the "years of plenty" to survive the "years of famine".
Then the teacher asked me: "The first time you ever heard or read this story what did this mean to you?"
I told him: "I wish I could say that at an early age I learned to put away 20% of everything for my later years."
"Unfortuantely I seem to have only gleaned: That if you have a fifth in reserve you can weather any crisis."

This one was for you Fezz.

[chip anderson]

Once child of my wife's closest childhood friend happened to stop by with his wife and baby. My wife was away with my friend's wife and my friend and I were sitting on the swing on the front porch talking. The father of the child said they would be only an hour or so.
I told him I would watch the child. After an hour and half or so the father of the child had not returned but my wife and my friends wife did return. Both of these women adore babies and took the baby over to my friend's house across the street.
I mixed a pitcher of daquiri's (the lime, not that woosy stuff) and proceeded to get a little more than mildly sloshed.
After about three or four hours the father and mother of the child returned and asked: "Did you have any trouble with the baby?"
I said: "Naw, we just gave him one of these and he went right to sleep."
The father getting a little testy now asked: "Where's the baby?"
I said: "I don't know we put him on the bed in the house when he went to sleep."
At this point the parents rushed in the house and looked for the baby. They came out and said: "He isn't in there, where is he?"
I replied: "Well he can't have gone far, he's small, I'll help you look."
About this time my wife and my friend's wife came across the street with the baby and spoiled the whole thing.

Strange, Tad never asked me to babysit again.

Unfortunately, this came to mind as I buried Tad today.

Chip

[chip anderson]

Shortly after we were married, my wife went off shopping with her mother or a friend. She asked me: "Would you mind doing the dishes while I'm gone?"
She left.
I took her coffee pot, and her cast iron skillets, and everthing else and scrubbed it down to bare shinny metal!

It was years before she figured out this was intentional and I really did know better.

Of course, It was years before she asked me to do the dishes again too.


Chip:D

[braheem24]

Unfortunately, this came to mind as I buried Tad today.

Chip

My condolences :(

[HarryChiling]

Shortly after we were married, my wife went off shopping with her mother or a friend. She asked me: "Would you mind doing the dishes while I'm gone?"
She left.
I took her coffee pot, and her cast iron skillets, and everthing else and scrubbed it down to bare shinny metal!

It was years before she figured out this was intentional and I really did know better.

Of course, It was years before she asked me to do the dishes again too.


Chip:D

7000 posts and finally you gave us gold. I am scrubbing the dishes now.:D

[chip anderson]

Early in our marriage, my wife used to ask me to accompany her to the grocery store. Usually my lust for the remote control was greater than that for her during these times.
I soon figured out that if I would add many strange and exotic things to the menu, thereby running the grocery bill up $50.00 to $100.00 (1980 $s). She seem to loose her desire for my company during these excursions.


Chip

[optigrrl]

OK guys - don't you all go out and start these shenanigans on your wives! Chip is giving you out-dated material here and most women know not to fall for this kind of stuff! :p

[HarryChiling]

OK guys - don't you all go out and start these shenanigans on your wives! Chip is giving you out-dated material here and most women know not to fall for this kind of stuff! :p

Chip, looks like we got someone trying to run interference. Your signals getting through loud and clear though. :D Seriously though, my wife is sharp and more than likely any shenanigans would get me thrown into the good husband rehabilitation program where the food is cold and the couch is lumpy.

[chip anderson]

Actually a lot of this stuff only works on young naive women (if there are any left).

[optigrrl]

Actually a lot of this stuff only works on young naive women (if there are any left).

The ratio of "young and naive" women available increases in direct proportion to the measure of your annual income, I'm told! :D

[MarcE]

The ratio of "young and naive" women available increases in direct proportion to the measure of your annual income, I'm told! :D

No wonder my wife is a genius!

[hcjilson]

Touche' Optigrrl........Beautifully done!

I almost choked on the coffee I was drinking while reading it!

[cocoisland58]

The ratio of "young and naive" women available increases in direct proportion to the measure of your annual income, I'm told! :D

Young yes, naive? Only until the deal is sealed.

[optigrrl]

Young yes, naive? Only until the deal is sealed.

LOL!