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Thread: Optical Country & Western Song Titles!

  1. #1
    Forever Liz's Dad Steve Machol's Avatar
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    Optical Country & Western Song Titles!

    I've always been amused by the sometimes clever play on words that Country & Western writes use in their song titles. Who can ever forget such classics as:

    • Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
    • She's Actin' Single I'm Drinkin' Doubles
    • I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
    • If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
    • Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?
    • If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
    • Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
    • They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
    • You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
    • I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
    • If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
    • She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
    So I thought it would be a good idea to see what titles you could come up with if you were to write a Country & Western song with an Optical theme. To start it off, here's my contributuon:

    She Took My P.D., Then She Stole My Heart


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  2. #2
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    Steve,
    How about this.....

    She took my cleaner so I couldn't SEE her leave!

    ~Cindy:shiner:

  3. #3
    Sawptician PAkev's Avatar
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    Not Country but take it for what its worth.....

    How about Billy Joel

    .Sing me a song I'm the PLANO man
    .Sing me a song tonight
    .Cause were all in the mood for lazer surgery
    .and sunglasses won't make things so bright.

    la la la la la la
    la la la la la O O O


    Thank You!
    Thank You !
    Thank You Very Much!

    PAkev

  4. #4
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    Here's another, Steve......

    She broke my heart when she told me to get the slab-off her porch!

    ~Cindy:shiner:

  5. #5
    Bad address email on file John R's Avatar
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    Wave Hit it again...

    A one to three....
    Vari way to Vocal
    I got the photocromic blues
    :cheers:

  6. #6
    Forever Liz's Dad Steve Machol's Avatar
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    Re: Hit it again...

    Originally posted by John R
    A one to three....
    Vari way to Vocal
    I got the photocromic blues
    :cheers:
    I guess this proves that Brits, by nature, are incapable of understanding Country & Western music! :D


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    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Wave

    Don't feel bad John I don't understand country music either!! Ok but here is my hand at it anyway~~~ "you don't need contact lenses to see she is breaking my heart" And someone explain this to me? Why are they always singing about the wife left. dog ran away etc etc...

    Steph

  8. #8
    Forever Liz's Dad Steve Machol's Avatar
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    You gave me an idea for a new song title Steph!

    My wife ran away with my dog, now my Comforts are no comfort at all

    :D

    [Hey JR - maybe they should post this one at Essilor Headquarters!]


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    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Big Smile

    Still laughing at that one Steve!! How about "The Pantoscopic Tilt Boogie" then we could give directions on how to do it and then make up some cheesy (face cheesy that is) dance to go with it. We are in the wrong business guys!! Weird Al makes millions doing this stuff!!

    Steph

  10. #10
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    Steph,
    Have you heard what you hear when you play a country music record backwards??????

    The wife comes home with the dog, truck and six-pack!


    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!



    "I lost my girlfriend because she said it was panascopic"! (I hope I spelled that right)

    ~Cindy

  11. #11
    Bad address email on file Suzy W's Avatar
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    That was too good Steve! Of course I am reading this and listening to a Dixie Chicks cd. I will try and think up some songs as soon as I'm done lauging about the rest
    :D

    Suzy

  12. #12
    Sawptician PAkev's Avatar
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    A little Sammy Kershaw

    She's the queen of my double lens edger
    with the polycarb cycle she'll get her Redbood read.

    HEEEE HAW
    PAkev

  13. #13
    Bad address email on file John R's Avatar
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    Wave Re: Re: Hit it again...

    Originally posted by Steve Machol
    I guess this proves that Brits, by nature, are incapable of understanding Country & Western music! :D
    Well darn gon it boy you got something right :D
    It ar'nt half fun watching tham stupid folks doing that line dancing though...
    Best c/w song i know is d.i.v.o.r.c.e. by Billy Connilly
    Give me a nice bit ofPink Floyd any day.

  14. #14
    That Boy Ain't Right Blake's Avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Hit it again...

    Originally posted by John R

    Give me a nice bit ofPink Floyd any day.

    We don't need no (continuing) education!

  15. #15
    Bad address email on file optigoddess's Avatar
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    ah shucks....

    How about:

    "I took a flyin' LEAP (pad) off the EDGE(r) of your cheatin' heart..."

  16. #16
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    There's Tears On My Lensometer Since You Neutralized My Love
    Dan

  17. #17
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    Originally posted by optyx
    There's Tears On My Lensometer Since You Neutralized My Love
    I think yours is the best so far Optyx!:)

    ~Cindy

  18. #18
    Cape Codger OptiBoard Gold Supporter hcjilson's Avatar
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    From that Bastion of Country Music...Cape Cod!

    You can take this job tray and shove it!


    its raining today if you haven't already guessed!hj
    "Always laugh when you can. It is a cheap medicine"
    Lord Byron

    Take a photo tour of Cape Cod and the Islands!
    www.capecodphotoalbum.com

  19. #19
    sub specie aeternitatis Pete Hanlin's Avatar
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    In the Lens of Life- You're an Aberration

    You've Got More Lines Than My Grandma's Trifocals

    When you said you was 'Bi,' I thought you meant nocular

    Budweiser lenses in my drunken frame of mind

    Pete
    Pete Hanlin, ABOM
    Sr. Director Professional Solutions
    Essilor of America

    http://linkedin.com/in/pete-hanlin-72a3a74

  20. #20
    Master OptiBoarder Cindy Hamlin's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Pete Hanlin
    In the Lens of Life- You're an Aberration


    When you said you was 'Bi,' I thought you meant nocular

    Budweiser lenses in my drunken frame of mind

    Pete
    Pete,
    I laughed til I cried!

    ~Cindy

  21. #21
    Bad address email on file optigoddess's Avatar
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    "I always KNEW you had a screw loose...looks like I was right";)

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    Bad address email on file John R's Avatar
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    what u think to this then......

    I'm going to frame my eyes on you, coz there's no'se padding round here


    Please Please am i getting better :D
    :cheers:

  23. #23
    Forever Liz's Dad Steve Machol's Avatar
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    She Got the Gold Frames, I Got the Shaft

    :D


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    Master OptiBoarder Alan W's Avatar
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    Big Smile

    I offered him tint,
    and he said: "No, I'm a Transitions man!"
    I said: Really? When were you last a woman?
    d'dum dum!

  25. #25
    Master OptiBoarder Alan W's Avatar
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    more

    There was a man from Lens
    who had lots of blind friends,
    they asked for aid
    having their glasses made,
    so he did all the temple bends.

    Oh, God that was soo bad!

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