Strangest Things Patients Say

**Mike Fretto** · 08-06-2007, 01:25 PM

We had a women come in today with her father to pick up his glasses. At first he wasnt sure he could see as well with the new RX at this point his daughter asked if it would make a difference if he put his teeth in:drop:

RA · 08-06-2007, 02:57 PM

Why not? Pt.'s lose the ability to hear when their glasses are off so having teeth in should definitely help.
:hammer:

**ShuString** · 08-07-2007, 11:27 AM

I need a screw, although harmless it still sounds strange.

**For-Life** · 08-07-2007, 12:08 PM

Just after I explained that Transitions really do not change while you are driving: "Will it change if I am in the passenger seat?"

**lindalou** · 08-07-2007, 12:25 PM

They do lose their ability to hear don't they!

I said it one thread:
When doing tono, the patient usually older says "Is this the one that gives the blow job?" or somthing similar to that.:p

"I can read that bottom line, give me a minute." while my arm has gone to sleep and they can't even read the 30 line.

**Cindy K** · 08-07-2007, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by ShuString

I need a screw, although harmless it still sounds strange.

:DWhen I was single a good looking guy brought his sunglasses in complaining the temple kept swivelling. I pointed out that he needed a screw, he pointed out he sure did, and promptly asked me for a date. (Turned out he had several loose screws and not just in his sunglasses.)

**chip anderson** · 08-07-2007, 01:03 PM

Why do patient's think that when they are in front of an eye chart, it's some kind of test that they are going to get a grade on or something. Many wiggle around in the chair, women tell you the line "they can't see."
Lots give you the "give me a minite" answer as though you were interested in what they might be able figure out or guess at. Some even attempt to memorize the chart, as though lying to you would help you bring thier vision up to stuff.

Many patients come in and say thier contacts "feel too tight". A contact cannot "feel too tight." Never make the mistake of saying that looks too tight in front of a patient. Thereafter the patient will tell you "it feels tight" unless it's falling out. Never again will they say, it burns, itches, scratches, hurts, looks foggy, or anything except "it feels tight."

Chip

Chip

**For-Life** · 08-07-2007, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by chip anderson

Why do patient's think that when they are in front of an eye chart, it's some kind of test that they are going to get a grade on or something. Many wiggle around in the chair, women tell you the line "they can't see."
Lots give you the "give me a minite" answer as though you were interested in what they might be able figure out or guess at. Some even attempt to memorize the chart, as though lying to you would help you bring thier vision up to stuff.

Many patients come in and say thier contacts "feel too tight". A contact cannot "feel too tight." Never make the mistake of saying that looks too tight in front of a patient. Thereafter the patient will tell you "it feels tight" unless it's falling out. Never again will they say, it burns, itches, scratches, hurts, looks foggy, or anything except "it feels tight."

Chip

Chip

I get the same thing when I do research. I hand out 500 surveys, so I have no idea who says what.

When it deals with questions of income, charities, or anything that makes them feel good or bad there is a major problem with honesty. For instance, if I ask them how much they donate to a charity, I do not care if it $0, but many will never put that, and instead put what feel they should donate.

**Cindy K** · 08-07-2007, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by For-Life

I get the same thing when I do research. I hand out 500 surveys, so I have no idea who says what.

When it deals with questions of income, charities, or anything that makes them feel good or bad there is a major problem with honesty. For instance, if I ask them how much they donate to a charity, I do not care if it $0, but many will never put that, and instead put what feel they should donate.

You can always count on an honest answer from me!

**lindalou** · 08-07-2007, 01:39 PM

How about "Well, that's the problem, my glasses are dirty."

I told one woman, if you were going to a ob/gyn for a check up, you'd make sure you were clean? Why not your glasses? She just laughed and agreed.:bbg:

"I'd rather go to the Dentist, then come here for an exam." You'd rather, have teeth scrapped, needle stuck in, tooth pulled, rather then: "Read the smallest line for me"????

**Jana Lewis** · 08-07-2007, 05:13 PM

I get... "can you adjust my shoes please" ( nosepads ) and the always favorite " Are you gonna leave the DKNY on the lenses?" DEMOS!

**Andrew Weiss** · 08-07-2007, 05:32 PM

I'm used to the following terms for temples: wings, legs, arms, stems.

But a couple of weeks ago, a fellow came in who has VSP and wanted to use his existing frame and not give them up (it's also a frame we don't carry).

No problem, he said; he had the "slugs" and we could make the lenses from them.

Slugs? Well, "slug" = "pattern". I tried to steer him toward the correct term, but he insisted on using "slugs."

So the next time you take one of those plastic thingies we used to use to make lenses before the days of patternless edgers, just think of that slimy little garden critter. :bbg: Or, maybe you can think of that shiny new edger as a "slugless" one.

**For-Life** · 08-07-2007, 05:37 PM

Originally Posted by Jana Lewis

I get... "can you adjust my shoes please" ( nosepads ) and the always favorite " Are you gonna leave the DKNY on the lenses?" DEMOS!

It is amazing how many people thing the show frames have RX lenses in them. It is even more amazing that some of these people have worn glasses all their lives.

**orangezero** · 08-07-2007, 05:50 PM

One woman told me a while back she "didn't like it when they blew her in the other room."

Funny, I always thought we just had one staff member per patient for pretesting.

**Judy Canty** · 08-07-2007, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Cindy K

:DWhen I was single a good looking guy brought his sunglasses in complaining the temple kept swivelling. I pointed out that he needed a screw, he pointed out he sure did, and promptly asked me for a date. (Turned out he had several loose screws and not just in his sunglasses.)

I married the last guy that used that line on me...27 years later and we're still...you know...;) married!

**k12311997** · 08-07-2007, 08:10 PM

Originally Posted by Jana Lewis

and the always favorite " Are you gonna leave the DKNY on the lenses?" DEMOS!

my reply, "yes, but it is only an extra (insert cost of lenses) to have it removed." usually followed by a long explaination and me remembering why I should keep my sense of humor to myself.

**obxeyeguy** · 08-08-2007, 01:38 AM

Just after I explained that Transitions really do not change while you are driving: "Will it change if I am in the passenger seat?"

You mean they don't, My opstitrician told me they don't change when I'm DRIVING. Haaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

**DragonLensmanWV** · 08-08-2007, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by For-Life

It is amazing how many people thing the show frames have RX lenses in them. It is even more amazing that some of these people have worn glasses all their lives.

And even more amazing at how well demos improve some peoples' vision!:D

**chip anderson** · 08-08-2007, 07:28 AM

"De medsin done clean wo' out 'o dees glasses!"

Had one yesterday that said the doctor's office had checked her glasses and 'de medsin was just in the tinyest part of the top of her glasses (SV glasses, Rx monocular only."
Could not convince the woman that we had not and would not put a progressive bifocal in a frame only 24mm "B".

Chip

**edKENdance** · 08-09-2007, 06:49 PM

Chip, I can't tell you how many times I've used that line at work as I've seen you post it for at least a few years. It never gets the attention I think it deserves. I used it on one of our Doctors when he was doing my eye exam and his usual stoic self actually laughed. FINALLY!

**coronadoeyes** · 08-09-2007, 07:17 PM

what about when you charge for repairs... HAHAH 2 bucks for the screw

**edKENdance** · 08-09-2007, 07:20 PM

I charged someone 4 bucks for a nut and bolt today. I told her a screw would have cost her signifigantly more. I don't think she got it.

**SarahMP584** · 08-09-2007, 11:30 PM

I had a new one (at least for me) yesterday. "Could you tighten my nose prongs?"

**Judy Canty** · 08-09-2007, 11:52 PM

It's not just the patients. Years ago I worked in a shop where the lab (full service mind you in the '70's) was upstairs and accessable via a dumb waiter. Young thing that I was, I sent a frame up with the request "needs a screw". The reply...."send her up". After I stopped laughing..I sent the frame and the offending temple.....

I love this business.....

**PittsOptician** · 08-13-2007, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by chip anderson

"De medsin done clean wo' out 'o dees glasses!"

Chip

I hear this so much and everytime I do I laugh out loud! (In the back, of course!) Like, I can just tip the bottle up and fill up thier lenses! Funny mental picture! I also love "zohn" like john... patients who I think are trying to say that they can't focus in on something say- "I can't zohn in on that" (Maybe Zone?)