I was at the bar Sunday, watching the Super Bowl when I heard a British accent. It was a couple of ladies talking, so I asked them, "Are you gals from Britain?"

One of them said, " It's Wales!"

SO I said, " Ok, are you whales from Britain?"



A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The drivers says, " Wow! That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The lady storms off to the back of the bus. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, " That bus driver just insulted me!". The man says, "You should go and give him a good telling off. I'll hold your monkey for you"...


I'm on a whiskey diet....I've lost 3 days already!


My mother in law fell down a wishing well. I never knew they really work...