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Thread: Favorite Jokes

  1. #351
    Master OptiBoarder optical24/7's Avatar
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    This is really a bad joke….that’s why I like it!…..

    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
    Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
    The frog says $30,000.
    The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
    Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
    The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
    Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
    She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
    The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

  2. #352
    Master OptiBoarder optical24/7's Avatar
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    And now, be honest……how many of you sang the last line…

  3. #353
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter
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    Quote Originally Posted by optical24/7 View Post
    And now, be honest……how many of you sang the last line…
    Guilty. Here's another groaner.
    _________________________________________________

    The "Duck" gang robbed the same bank a week later.

    How'd they do it?

    They quacked the safe.
    Roberts Optical Ltd.
    Wauwatosa Wi.
    www.roberts-optical.com
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. - Richard P. Feynman

    Experience is the hardest teacher. She gives the test before the lesson.



  4. #354
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter
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    I still can't get over the fact that the word "gullible" turned upside down looks just like a cat.
    Roberts Optical Ltd.
    Wauwatosa Wi.
    www.roberts-optical.com
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. - Richard P. Feynman

    Experience is the hardest teacher. She gives the test before the lesson.



  5. #355
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter
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    Roberts Optical Ltd.
    Wauwatosa Wi.
    www.roberts-optical.com
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. - Richard P. Feynman

    Experience is the hardest teacher. She gives the test before the lesson.



  6. #356
    Master OptiBoarder optical24/7's Avatar
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    Ah Ha! That’s where my spinning chore choser is! I’ve been working my rear off around the house since you took it! I’m gonna frisk your pockets the next time you come over!

  7. #357
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter
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    Quote Originally Posted by optical24/7 View Post
    Ah Ha! Thatís where my spinning chore choser is! Iíve been working my rear off around the house since you took it! Iím gonna frisk your pockets the next time you come over!
    Didn't think ya needed it since you're back home on the farm now, tiling' and plantin' and such. BTW, don't even bother looking inside your wine cooler fridge.
    Roberts Optical Ltd.
    Wauwatosa Wi.
    www.roberts-optical.com
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Science is a way of trying not to fool yourself. - Richard P. Feynman

    Experience is the hardest teacher. She gives the test before the lesson.



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