For the next week, an optical-themed limerick contest. At the end of next week, we will vote on the best one. You may post as many as you like.
Ready? Go!
There once was an Optician named Dirk,
Whose customer was a real jerk,
He didn't want to pay,
so Dirk had to say,
"don't you get paid when you work?"
:bbg:
Optician Harry was often annoyed,
Moving his chair was hard to avoid,
Now let's face the facts,
He avoids parallax,
But folks think he's got a big hemorrhoid!
Johns is a grand old fellow,
Always around to say hello,
Broken lens, have no fears!
He's got lots of plus spheres,
But the cr-39's kinda yellow.......
And just to show I'm not picking on all of you.....
Doc Ory has a great attitude,
He's charming and never rude,
But no matter how hard he tries,
Patients leave shouting "My eyes!!!!!"
'Cause he does his exams in the nude!
Now go drink some green beer!
Last edited by Ory; 03-18-2007 at 06:45 AM. Reason: late night spelling error
That gets a real deal cheers. :cheers:[sigpic][/sigpic]
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lmao!!!Originally Posted by Ory
Optician Harry was often annoyed,
Moving his chair was hard to avoid,
Now let's face the facts,
He avoids parallax,
But folks think he's got a big hemmoroid!
Johns is a grand old fellow,
Always around to say hello,
Broken lens, have no fears!
He's got lots of plus spheres,
But the cr-39's kinda yellow.......
And just to show I'm not picking on all of you.....
Doc Ory has a great attitude,
He's charming and never rude,
But no matter how hard he tries,
Patients leave shouting "My eyes!!!!!"
'Cause he does his exams in the nude!
Now go drink some green beer!
...to anyone celebrating their 40th-44th birthday, when appropriate:
Rose are red
Violets are blue
These +1.00 spheres
Are waiting for you!
Barry
there once was an optician named lenny
who crafted lenses of many
soon his friends poked with laughter
"he's nothing but a lens crafter".
but lennys spirit wouldn't die
as he kept the lenses going by
then mr D appeared one day
and lenny heard him say with gay
lenny with your pride so right
I will name my optical "lenscrafters" tonight.
Then all the other opticians loved him
as they shouted out with glee
lenny the lens crafting optician
you'll go down in history.
Ok guys, now I need to crack the whip. You are all creative, talented poetic people, but I must insist on LIMERICKS only. The last word in the first 2 lines must rhyme, the 3rd and 4th lines must rhyme with each other, and the last word in the last line must rhyme with the last word in lines 1 and 2. Lines 3 and four should also be about 5 syllables each. There are five lines in total.
An optometrist named Mike tested Helen,
She got every line on the snellen,
Said she "this is Greek,
and if you'll take a peek,
the guy needs a lesson in 'spellin."
I give you this fellow named West
In optics his life he'd invest
So you think it funny
He made TONS of money
and made sure WE all knew he's best.
Jaqui was quite the lensmaker.
That some said was just a big faker.
Knows all of the the topics
The Brett Favre of optics.
Who has never made a mistake here.
Umm.
There was an optician from Nantucket.
A thief saw his frame and then took it.
The cops came and saw
He'd caught the scofflaw
So Dano said to him "Book it."
I gotta admit, I almost stopped after the first line...;)
DragonlensmanWV N.A.O.L.
"There is nothing patriotic about hating your government or pretending you can hate your government but love your country."
There came a pair of glasses with frame cheese
The optician said to patient "oh please"
"It's important each day",
"To make the cheese go away"
Embarrassed, the patient said "geez" :o
There was a consumer from Sebring
Whose OptiBoard posts were disturbing
Steve put it up to a vote
And we're happy to note
Most were in favor of curbing ...
Once was a member 'twas I
Who thought his many posts wry
One day as he typed
He went faster than light
And he was gone in the blink of an eye
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Last edited by rinselberg; 03-19-2007 at 04:19 PM.
Though optiboard's made me much wiser
I'm no Harry C. or Chris Ryser
But I'll stay here and learn
I've time and money to burn
I'm an overpaid frame merchandiser!
Shall I rush this rush job, while I'm rushing the while you wait job I'm rushing now? :hammer:
Robert
There are many things in life that catch your eye... but very few things will catch your heart.... Pursue those!
A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict meter, popularized by Edward Lear. The rhyme scheme is usually "A-A-B-B-A", with a rather rigid meter. The first, second, and fifth lines are three metrical feet; the third and fourth are two metrical feet. The foot used is usually the amphibrach, a stressed syllable between two unstressed ones. However, it can be considered an anapestic foot, two short syllables and then a long, the reverse of dactyl rhythm. However, many substitutions are common.
The first line traditionally introduces a person and a location, and usually ends with the name of the location, though sometimes with that of the person. A true limerick is supposed to have a kind of twist to it. This may lie in the final line, or it may lie in the way the rhymes are often intentionally tortured, or in both. Though not a strict requirement, many limericks additionally show some form of internal rhyme, often alliteration, sometimes assonance or another form of rhyme.
Anyway...
Diane
Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
A very scholarly post by Diane ... but there's one more part to the puzzle: Why is one of these rhymes called a "limerick" ..? Find the answer(s) here ...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limeric...ry%29#The_name
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I just can't believe someone gave me negative reputation for my limericks! Or perhaps it was an irate patient.....:hammer:
Ah well, here we go again!
A lady gave me quite a fright,
She said "Doc, these specs aren't quite right!"
I said "My dear, our glasses,
Don't go on our A**es"
"But doc, I wanted hindsight"
There was a woman named Joan,
Who called, while irate, on the phone,
Warranty her lens,
Which she only did cleanse?
Not when she used pure acetone!
A buxom young lady from Kent,
to me, her optician she went,
I didn't mean to stare
but what a big pair,
and it wasn't her glasses I meant.
:D
Y'all are craking me up!!!
Keep em coming. Maybe I will try to come up with one of my own.
There was an optician from Vancouver,
Who was a real shaker and mover,
He won't spend his cash,
On lab glitz and flash,
no, he uses his teeth as a groover!:D
Curse you Mr. Nelson, now I spend all my time thinking up limericks. I think they're all getting worse with time too!
There was an optometrist named Ory,
It really is a sad story,
spent all of his time,
thinking up rhyme,
Come payday, he'll be really sorry.
:cheers:
There's an optician from Pismo Beach
Who visits Optiboard to see what you have to teach
Once in a while he has something to share
Even if you don't really care
He never gives a long winded speech
Thursday is the last day to compose and post your limericks, Friday will be the "voting day."
Optiboarders have, yet again, displayed awesome creativity, as well as a slightly warped sense of humour, which is, of course, the pre-requisite for being in the optical.
Keep them coming....;)
I think, in one of my limericks, I may have put my anapestic foot in my assonance.
jewels for the eye at twilight
sapphires, rubies and alexandrite
luxury wrapped in gold
passion begins to unfold
as diamonds glimmer all night
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