40 Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud at Work

[GOS_Queen]

Subject: 40 Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work

40 Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work


1. I can see your point but I still think you're full of ****.

2. I don't know what your problem is but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate
yourself.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see
it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind at the moment but feel free to leave a
message.

8. I don't work here - I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I don't understand a d amn word
you're saying.

10. Ahh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't giver a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing this duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job but I've got a lot of karma to burn.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, bu t my duties are largely
ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny assed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a f**king people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh, I get it, like humor. Only different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser pri nter to kill?

38. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a
personality.

[k12311997]

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

[For-Life]

I would just like to explain to a customer how dumb they are when they believe in 2 for 1's. Not the case where the store offers it as a sale, but when it is all the store offers.

[Cindy K]

I recognise a number of those as being 'Maxine-isms'. For any women out there who don't know who Maxine is, get to know her! She'll impart profound wisdom to your lives and be your hero-- when I grow old I hope to proudly display such attitude and, as openly as she does, adjust the attitude of those around me!)

[GOS_Queen]

I absolutely LOVE Maxine! I aspire to be more like her with each passing day ...

[Suzy W]

Thank you I needed that. In fact, I can picture some of the people I would like to say those too.

[DocInChina]

I would just like to explain to a customer how dumb they are when they believe in 2 for 1's. Not the case where the store offers it as a sale, but when it is all the store offers.

I found you can actually say most anything to a customer/patient if your prefaced or ended your sentence with "sir or ma'am".

1) Which words didn't you understand...sir?
2) I do not know how to make myself better understood, ma'am?
3) It is not a multiple choice test, ma'am. Which is better, one or two. Pick just one, thanks.
4) Please answer my current questions and not the ones from 30 minutes ago, thank you, sir.

I miss working with the public. ;)

Doc