Still living at home with good old mom and dad?

[rbaker]

I am amazed at how many children are returning home after college to sponge off Mom and Dad. I have a friend who has had three of his four adult children return home after college and one of them is an optometrist. Another friend has two at home, both college grads in their mid thirties. One works a menial job and the other doesn’t work at all. Mom and Dad support both of them.

Of course they all have the excuse of either saving up for a down payment or the high cost of rental apartments and on and on ad infinitum. These kids still cant get away from the fact that they are, in my opinion, losers.

What do you think. Is any adult child still living at home in their old room a loser?

[chip anderson]

One of the quickest way to get a child to grow up, is to cut off the money. For those parents that don't they deserve what they get, worthless children.
Doesn't hurt any of them to do two years in the military. I think it should be required after high school before they could get a job, go to college or get married.

Chip

[ziggy]

After high school I went to college. after a year and a half I "needed a break". It was right after Christmas when I informed my Dad of my discision. After all I was an adult and I could decide to finish school or not. Dad agreed with me that I could make any moves that I wish but the first move I WAS going to make was out of his home. "You have 3 weeks to get out!" If I wanted to stay there it would cost me $200.00 a week paid every Friday. In the early '80s that was a ton of money. So I joined the Army but couldnt leave for a month. True to his word, Dad collected his $200 for the last week. That $200 was the best money I ever spent! For that small amount I got a Phd in reality and the ability to stand on my own two feet. Even a sparrow will push the young out of the nest.

[shanbaum]

While I can't dispute the assertion that my personal loserdom has resulted directly from having moved in with my parents after college, I take exception to the idea that this will be true for the younger of my two sons. My wife and I were quite pleased to have him live with us. Given that he had managed to secure a very good job prior to graduating (as a Chancellor's Scholar) from the University of Illinois, I wouldn't be too quick to apply the loser designation to him.

Now that he's engaged to be married (as of yesterday), he and his intended will no doubt be looking for a place of their own, as that has become the norm in our society for a couple of generations now. But if they wanted to live with us, I'd be all in favor of it. After all, we have no other plans for the spare seven bedrooms.

[Judy Canty]

Ben is looking for a place of his own, and it's killing me.

[JennyP]

....Now that he's engaged to be married (as of yesterday).....

Congrats for your son, Shanbaum!

[shanbaum]

Congrats for your son, Shanbaum!

Thanks. His fiancée is fabulous.

[chm2023]

While I can't dispute the assertion that my personal loserdom has resulted directly from having moved in with my parents after college, I take exception to the idea that this will be true for the younger of my two sons. My wife and I were quite pleased to have him live with us. Given that he had managed to secure a very good job prior to graduating (as a Chancellor's Scholar) from the University of Illinois, I wouldn't be too quick to apply the loser designation to him.

Now that he's engaged to be married (as of yesterday), he and his intended will no doubt be looking for a place of their own, as that has become the norm in our society for a couple of generations now. But if they wanted to live with us, I'd be all in favor of it. After all, we have no other plans for the spare seven bedrooms.

Just like a man. Your son's wife needs/wants/deserves her own home. Household can only tolerate one head girl!! Jeez.

Seriously congrats on son's academic success! My youngest is a sophomore at BC; just struck me the other day that once she graduates it will be another milestone--I really don't remember when I didn't have a kid in college!!

[shanbaum]

Just like a man. Your son's wife needs/wants/deserves her own home. Household can only tolerate one head girl!! Jeez.

Doh!:hammer:

[Grubendol]

I am amazed at how many children are returning home after college to sponge off Mom and Dad. I have a friend who has had three of his four adult children return home after college and one of them is an optometrist. Another friend has two at home, both college grads in their mid thirties. One works a menial job and the other doesn’t work at all. Mom and Dad support both of them.

Of course they all have the excuse of either saving up for a down payment or the high cost of rental apartments and on and on ad infinitum. These kids still cant get away from the fact that they are, in my opinion, losers.

What do you think. Is any adult child still living at home in their old room a loser?

Between 2000 and 2005, the number of college graduates earning competing incomes with health care benefits immediately after college dropped by 12%. The economy is really good for corporations, but it's not so hot for the younger/middle class...I know I pay more in taxes now than I did before Bush.

[chm2023]

My mother lives with us, and I know countless people with similiar situations. What goes around....Whenever I do something nice for one of my wretched brats, I sometimes say "Remember this when I'm in the home". They think I'm kidding.....

[Grubendol]

My mother lives with us, and I know countless people with similiar situations. What goes around....Whenever I do something nice for one of my wretched brats, I sometimes say "Remember this when I'm in the home". They think I'm kidding.....

awesome and true.

[EyeManFla]

Does having your parents in two small boxes above the TV count?

[chm2023]

Does having your parents in two small boxes above the TV count?

Well I guess technically it does, unless they're alive which is really quite tacky!!:D

[HarryChiling]

I can't even remember the last time I was living at home. At 10 years old my dad died and my mother had a nervous break down leaving me and my older sister in the foster system (a group home) at the age of 14. I bounced from home to home until 18, so did my sister. Talk about a hard life lesson, both me and my sister are ferocious fighters, at 16 years of age I was boxing in gyms with some of the toughest kids on the streets of DC, and going home to some of the toughest kids nt on the streets if you know what I mean. I have been stabbed more times than I care to remember and my sister to this day walks down some of the meanest streets in baltimore city wth no mace or a care in the world. I used to despise my younger sister for still living at home with my mom. My mother was able to keep her because she agreed to therapy which she did not participate in.

Fast forward to present, both me and my older sister are sucessful individuals. Both of us own our own homes, she is a lawyer and I will be one of the best opticians in my stste bar none. My younger sister on the other hand, still living at home, married and divorced 6 months later, two children and still go out to the clubs sleeping around and drinking (not suprised if she is doing drugs). My younger sister gauges her success on the material things she has which is not hard to aquire when you don't have a mortgage or rent to pay. In her mind she is the sucessful one.

I think life brings hardships to everyone in one form or another. You can choose to press through them and find that theri are very few obstacles in life that one can't acomplish when he/she puts her mind to it. Or you can take the other route and take the muligan. Society has accepted the fact that the muligan is OK. Need to save for a down payment on a house, live with mom and dad for a few years its OK. Me and my wife moved into a hole in the wall in balitimore. An effieciency with two of us and 2 cats in a 500 sq/ft apartment to save money for a down payment. Guess what when it came time to buy a home we understood the value of the money we had for a down payment and wer eenot quick to give it up for just any home. We ended up buying a home one block from our towns historic distric and got the previous owners to pay our closing and even got a check at closing for $1500. This oppotunity would have passed us by had we taken the easy way out and moved in with our family. Then guess what my brother in law moved into his own apartment at 18. My wifes twin siste moved into her own apartment at 24. Her boyfriend moved into his own place at 22. They realized that although it is acceptable in todays society to live at home untill mid 30's for some reason. Having a curfew and chores at 30 is not cool.

I don't know if they are losers or not, but I tell you what. They are stealing precious life experiences from their lives, and life is too short to sit at home taking time out becasue things are too hard out their. On the contrary things are getting easier for people with motivation because more and more people are too afraid to start life.

[Aarlan]

With the tremendous cost and increasing debt load that a new family incurs when moving out on their own, I have in the last few years (decades?) begun to think that the model that my grandparents followed (living with the extended family under 1 roof) was a better one than what we follow.
AS LONG AS THE CHILDREN LIVING W/ THEIR PARENTS DON'T SQUANDER THEIR EARNINGS (assuming they have gainful employment) AND INSTEAD HELP WITH LIVING EXPENSES, HOME UPKEEP AND CAN STILL SET ASIDE $ FOR THEIR OWN FUTURE HOME (to minimize or eliminate a mortgage) AND RETIREMENT, I THINK IT IS A FABULOUS IDEA.

I've seen some loser kids taking advantage of their parents, but I've also seen some remarkably responsible adult children who make the situation of living w/ their parent mutually beneficial. Just wish I had thought of it 16 years ago

AA

[Dave Nelson]

Harry, I too was bounced from foster home to foster home, and lived on my own as a high school drop-out with no money or skills at a very young age. Today, my wife and I have 2 kids in college, own a nice home that we bought new, and are both sucessful in our professions. My 3 siblings are all successful, own their own homes, and have happy, healthy kids, although all our kids tend to be somewhat spoiled. When one of my brother's kids whines because he wants money for something or has to work to hard for something, I don't hesitate to remind him or her, that their millionaire father started his career by cleaning dog-crap from kennels: he was glad to have the work too. I don't want my kids or my neices and nephews to experience the kind of life I had growing up, but I sure wish they could at least appreciate how hard we all worked to give them a better life than we had. All the best Harry!

[HarryChiling]

I don't want my kids or my neices and nephews to experience the kind of life I had growing up, but I sure wish they could at least appreciate how hard we all worked to give them a better life than we had.

I hope that I could pass that appreciation on as well to my kids.

[optigrrl]

Wow guys, these are some pretty amazing success stories. To overcome such adversity and yet carry with you the positive side of the whole experience is quite commendable! There's no doubt that life brought you the opportunity (in a rather complicated package) to test yourselves and you guys became great examples of what others can aspire towards!

[chip anderson]

For what it's worth. Dr. Laura Schessinger (sp?) and Bruce Williams say you are doing them a disservice caring for them after age 18. Not careing about them, caring for them. Kick them out and let them make thier own way, including thier paying for thier own continuing education (you'd be suprised these students actually attend classes and pay attention as opposed to those who have same provided for them.
Hell, most of them even become republicans dispite having an education in liberal institutions.
It won't hurt any of them to spend a couple of years in military service before attending college, or getting married.

Chip

O.K. I'm ready to hear about how you wouldn't have a child in service, etc.

Chip

[HarryChiling]

Hell, most of them even become republicans dispite having an education in liberal institutions.

Chip the idea is to get them out of the house not scare them into staying. :D