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Thread: Rude Patients

  1. #1
    Rising Star
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    Rude Patients

    :angry: I have to vent here... I just had a patient come in with her son, doctor brings them over and tells me the son needs a new pair of lenses, etc... I greet them and begin to look at what the insurance authorization says about what they are covered for, and mom says straight out-

    "We're going to go somewhere else. You don't have a very good selection here, I've already looked."

    I'm somewhat taken aback, and I say, yes we are a small optical, but we have something for everyone, and if they're looking for something in particular I can help them find...

    "Well, I don't want to pay a lot of money for it."

    I'm trying to stay courteous through these interruptions as I offer that maybe they would be intereested in our new XYZ frames, which aren't very expensive and are still very popular with the young boys...

    "I've already looked. I don't want to pay a lot of money because it's not worth it for him, he keeps losing them. We're going to go somewhere with a better selection. Which frames do you have for boys? Over there?"

    She then proceeds to go look down her nose at what we have on the board, bad mouth them a little bit and walk out with son in tow.

    Poor kid. Hate to have a mom like that. :(

    I can't stand rude people. Even worse is having to be nice to them even when they're treating me like dirt. Sometimes I think it would be better just to show them the door and sweetly tell them not to let it hit their butt on the way out. How far should "the customer is always right" go? Am I supposed to agree with her and say, "yes you're right all our frames are way too expensive and we have absolutely no selection"? I don't want to do that! But if I disagree with her the way I would like to, it will most likely start a bickering match where she walks out thinking that the frames are crap and the optician is a b**** to boot. Is this a no-win situation? How do you other optiboarders handle these types of patients?
    It's like being a travel agent... I help people see the world!

  2. #2
    Software Engineer NetPriva.com mirage2k2's Avatar
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    I made a decision a long time ago not to work with the general public. My wife works in a clothes store and people walk in, trash the joint (by trying everything on and then justing dumping it somewhere) and then walk out without buying anything :angry:

    I feel sorry for the kid - one can only imagine what kind of specs he'll end up wearing thanks to his mum I had a friend whos son wore quite strong glasses and was very conscious about his looks (just discovering girls) - I tried to persuade her to pay the bit extra for an AR coating to make the lenses look cooler - she wouldn't
    Not all customers are bad though :cheers:

  3. #3
    Bad address email on file jherman's Avatar
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    fome the outside

    it would appear that she was disciplining her child through you.

    The last place allot of people look at for the cause of a problem is at the mirror.

    It's sooo much easier to blame some else down the line.

    The customer isn't always right, however the customer always wins.

  4. #4
    Master OptiBoarder
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    She did you a big favor! Now YOU don't have to deal with her. It would probably be YOUR fault when he loses them or breaks them.

  5. #5
    OptiBoardaholic
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    Standard answer: Its your choice, let us know if we can help.

    I emphasize the its your choice part. I really don't say any more, I just leave it at that. If you speak with confidence (not with anger), you would be shocked at how quickly the conversation diffuses. I know it sounds too simple to work, but it works. The last thing you want to do is get in a bickering match over who is right or wrong. The funny thing is how many people come back appologizing. I guess people will be people and every now and then you get one that is just blowing off steam.

  6. #6
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    You did the right thing. I am proud of you, do not go down to their level cme4specs is right you do not want to deal with this person if you got the sale you would hate yourself very time she walked into the store.

  7. #7
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    Wave Shake it off

    You are NOT an emotional punching bag for your patient.

    Do your best and don’t let it worry you.



    CME4SPECS is 100% correct.


    OKOART
    www.opticalstore.com

  8. #8
    Master OptiBoarder
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    Years ago an older man was shopping for glasses and he came in on a mission, ranting and raving about price and selection. He belittled everything that I would say or do. I got tired of it and looked him right in the eyes and said to him "But first you need to qualify to be one of my customers, I don't accept customers that are rude and unappreciative" He shut up...ordered glasses and I never had another problem with him!

  9. #9
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    lady nicole,

    you did the right thing. you never know what might have happened to her to make her ill mannered. maybe she just lost her job and was worried about money...
    I find that if i have someone who is rude like this lady I ask her to let me give her a quote and then she can shop around. If that doesn't work then i tell her I'm sorry i couldn't help her and thank her for looking. I give her my card in case i can be of any further service and wish her a good day. Most of the time they may leave then but they won't consider you to be a bi....

  10. #10
    Bad address email on file Lyrix76's Avatar
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    Rude People

    I seem to find that some people you're just better off not having in your store. I agree w/CM4SPECS, they'll be someone elses headache & you won't have to deal with them. Plus the fact that she sounds like someone who would cause a lawsuit type situation & also someone that would cause more remakes then purchases. You're much better off w/o such an individual in your store.

  11. #11
    Bad address email on file Karlen McLean's Avatar
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    Percentages

    Look at the big picture. What percentage of your patients are like this one vs.what percentage of your patients are easy to deal with? I find that really bad apple patients are fortunately few and far between. Pat yourself on the back for staying cool, calm, and collected, know that the majority of people are less difficult to deal with, and move on. You can't please everyone all the time, and if you are, you're usually doing something wrong!

  12. #12
    OptiBoard Apprentice
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    I agree that she did you a huge favor. She may be one of those who would NEVER be happy, no matter what you do.

  13. #13
    Ophthalmic Optician
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    Big Smile

    I can only take so much of that, and then I go in to "grin" mode.

    I know I'm going to lose the sale anyway, so I just look at them and grin as if they have a big piece of toilet paper hanging out of the back of their pants. It drives them crazy. When you don't let them in on "secret", they sometimes get flustered.

    After they leave, you can keep smiling, because they're gone.

    Oh...you can also smile because you're not them!:D :bbg: :p ;)

  14. #14
    Master OptiBoarder spartus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johns
    I can only take so much of that, and then I go in to "grin" mode.

    I know I'm going to lose the sale anyway, so I just look at them and grin as if they have a big piece of toilet paper hanging out of the back of their pants. It drives them crazy. When you don't let them in on "secret", they sometimes get flustered.

    After they leave, you can keep smiling, because they're gone.

    Oh...you can also smile because you're not them!:D :bbg: :p ;)
    That's sort of what I do. I had a breathtakingly rude patient a few weeks back. Before I even sat down, she explained she hated her glasses, hated everything we had, and practically blamed me for putting her in this situation. Given that I'd barely had time to say hi, I had to excuse myself for a minute. You know, the "Let me just get something out of the back," excuse. Took the time to reassess the situation, composed myself and enjoyed myself greatly being overly solicitous and composed, no matter how nasty she got.

    When it got time to measure her seg height, I asked her if she liked where it was currently (FT wearer). She started to complain rather loudly about it, it had never been right, she hated it, it's all my fault for asking, and so on. Before she could really get any momentum going, I just cut in with, "Well, it's great that you told me! Let's make sure this time it's right where you want it!" This completely threw her off her game--she actually looked visibly confused.

    At this point I began to enjoy myself a little. People like that obviously enjoy making others uncomfortable by being deeply unpleasant, so it's entertaining to make them uncomfortable by being as pleasant as possible. She ended up cancelling the order, which is just as well. I can't imagine how mean she'd be at dispense if anything was wrong ("This case is too big for my purse! It's raining out! I paid too much for my muffler!").

  15. #15
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    I agree, if they don't like what you have to offer and they have to take whatever it is out on you, let them walk, they will cause more problems than what it's worth.

    About a year ago I had a little old lady buying glasses from us and I thought she was a sweet little lady, but she kept coming back crying about all kinds of things, wanted everything for free, saw 20/20, everything should have been fine, but something must have crawled up her ... you know what and the last time i dealt with her she jumped up, leaned across the table and yelled at me "I'm 72 years old and I'm on a fixed budget blah blah blah" she scared the heck out of me and I had co-workers come around the corner for "protection" :shiner: on the inside I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but instead I stood up, took a few steps back so she wasn't in my face anymore and just looked at her and listened until she was done and left. Of course that wasn't the end of it, she scheduled an appointment to see the MD and he authorized a remake, no changes, just remake the lenses (again), give her a new frame (nothing wrong with the original frame) and I was told not to call her when her glasses were done, only the office supervisor was allowed to deal with her. Guess what, her glasses are still in the supervisor's drawer a year later. Everybody was surprised I stayed so quiet, but it was the best thing I could have done and from then on each and every b....y patient gets the silent treatment and have a good day on their way out. I have enough patients that love me and the service I offer. Anyways, keep your cool !!!

  16. #16
    Master OptiBoarder optigrrl's Avatar
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    I may only see 1 or 3 of "those" types of patients a year, an I have to be honest - I must have it sooooo great the rest of the time because it really throws me back when I come across one!

    For example, I have a couple who buy from me regularily. High-end. The husband is laid back, the wife - HIGH MAINTENANCE. Well, their daughter needed glasses this year. My Dr. is a cataract surgeon so you can imagine my basic demographic.

    The daughter is like, 18 yrs old. She has a 54 PD, and she is absolutely a darling but she is most obviously a forcepts-baby. I tried a petite frame on her with a 46 eye and it was still big! She also has an extremely wide, prominant bridge. I needed the flexibility of a rimless option and in discussing (at length) what "they" (and by that I mean the mother) wanted -it was purples, pinks, bold and color.

    So - I chose a T2 in pink and purple. A small, customized lens shape and did painted edge grooves in purple an pink on the top and bottom. We spent 1.5 hours together, 1 hr after we closed to bring this all together. (To give you an idea of the width of her bridge, without the saddle-bridge insert on the bridge, the dbl is like 22mm. Well, she didn't need the insert. )

    The glasses took 3 weeks to make. When they picked them up, they LOVED them. Showed them off to everybody in the office!

    3 days later, mom calls. "I can't look at my daughter's face in these!" Proceeds to explain in great detail how brown is the color they should do and that she needs a full frame. WTF??!!!

    BTW, How that girl must have felt! She was in the background saying "mom! I LIKE them!"

    So I tell her that I have NOTHING that would work in this case. NOTHING. Very nicely. With respect. I got SCREAMED at by mom. ( for, I kid you NOT - 20 minutes!) She couldn't understand why I didn't carry more options to fit her daughter. WOULDN'T accept a referral to an optical that specialized in children's frames - high -end, too! It was "my responsibility" to keep a better stock selection because they didn't want to go elsewhere!

    So I had to eat the lenses and pay a restocking fee to the lab that supplied the frame. I basically explained to mom that we obviously mis-communicated something to each other and that I only wanted to save her time and money by referring her elsewhere.

    But, hey...do I take it personally? Just can't. I can only feel sorry for that girl's self-esteem. You know, since her mother couldn't look at her and all..

  17. #17
    Bad address email on file k12311997's Avatar
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    I recently saw a sign at a store(non optical) it the mall. It read "We charge an additional 10.00 for dealing with you if you are rude or grumpy" Wish we could do that.

  18. #18
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    Optigirrl:

    Got bad news, by the time she is own her own daughter will be just like her.

  19. #19
    ATO Member HarryChiling's Avatar
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    Wow, the doctors I work with have always allowed this kind of behaviour. So as you can imagine a majority of our patients feel that they are owed something for purchasing glasses with us. They are always bitter and are looking for reasons to hate or practice.

    The last practice I worked for the doctor sold the practie because it had gotten to the point that they were consistently losing 10% profits every year and he had to get out before he lost his business. When my boss purchased the store we knew we had an uphill battle.

    Like it has been mentioned before in the posts it took alot of listening to patients moan and groan. In the end you say "I am sorry that this is the way you feel, I would love another chance to gain your business, but it sounds like you have your mind made up, let us know if there is anything that we can do for you." hand them a business card and explain to them that if they come back to your store to ask for you personally and you will give them the best service and hopefully this can help make them feel better about their experience with your practice.

    What you absolutely do not do is concede to offering free add-ons or services. I find that most people voice complaints about the service when really they have complaints about the price, by reducing the price when they complain abotu the service you are only validating their complaints and it turns into a every time they come in thing.

    In our case it took about 2 years to cycle through all the bad apples, but the practice is doing better than ever. I left last year with profits up 15% and this year they are some where between 20-30%. My brother in law runs the place now and he says the customers attitudes are great and they only get the bad apples every now and again.

    Just keep in mind that you and the service you provide represents your business, the business does not represent you or the service you provide.
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  20. #20
    Master OptiBoarder ziggy's Avatar
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    How do you other optiboarders handle these types of patients?[/QUOTE]

    GET THE HELL OUT!!
    Paul:cheers:

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by optigrrl
    I
    For example, I have a couple who buy from me regularily. High-end. The husband is laid back, the wife - HIGH MAINTENANCE.
    Optigrrl, I know exactly the kind of couple you mean. I've often wondered to myself, 'How the heck did these two EVER end up married to each other in the first place??'

    And, it goes both ways -- it's not always the wife that's the nasty one.

    I guess opposites really do attract, don't they?

  22. #22
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    Rude patients huh? How about rude opticians? I have experienced many as a patient and none will get any repeat business from me. I've also been given pretty poor advice. Instead of wearing the fanastic contact lenses I have now, I'd probably still be wearing horrible extremely thick heavy glasses if I'd not researched the options available and finally found a decent optician. I like this board and have found out a great deal of information which as a high myope has been very useful. I am very appreciative of this. There also appear to be a lot of pomposity, arrogance and narrow mindedness unfortunately.

  23. #23
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    A little defensive, are we? There are rude people all over. I believe that the posters on this thread should be allowed to vent with each other. This board is for people in the optical business who go through similar situations and can relate to each others problems. I know that if I am not happy with the service I have received, I will go elsewhere.:idea:
    Last edited by A. Spectacle; 03-28-2006 at 09:59 AM.

  24. #24
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    You said it in your post golden......it took research to find a good optician and I'm glad you did. Unfortunatly, not all Opticians are very knowledgable about what they're doing. To them, it's just their job. Most of us on here actually are interested in what we do for a living. That's the difference. yes, it's our job, but we also love and care about what it is we are doing. I'm shocked myself sometimes at just how little some opticians know. I recently went to a continuing ed course and half the room didn't even know what trivex was or what a piccolo was. I was STUNNED........so you see, it does take great time and research to find a good optician.

  25. #25
    OptiBoard Professional William Walker's Avatar
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    I had one of my rudest patients a month or two ago. Came in for dispense, this patient (late 50's, male) puts on his bifocals, and within about 5 seconds, reports, 'You did these wrong, I can't see'. I'm a little puzzled (I wasn't the optician who helped him initially), so I ask to borrow the glasses, and begin to read them on the lensometer, while looking at the original copy of the Rx. As I do this, I am trying to ask some troubleshooting questions. The first of which is 'What do you wear for glasses now (so I can see where there might be differences). His response was 'Sonny, does it look like I have stupid written across my forhead?'. I'm 25 years old, and few things get under my skin like someone assuming I don't know what I'm doing because I'm young. Being fresh out of running a private practice, I just about told him to get the hell out, but instead, my response was, 'You know what - we're done. I'm going to have Gloria, my manager come over and help you.' I had to go on my lunch break then, so that I wouldn't be fuming all around the optical.

    Best part comes a few weeks later. He comes in with another Rx from the prescribing Dr. He's diabetic, and doesn't really even try to stabilize his blood sugar!
    William Walker

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