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Thread: Cheney/Great White Hunter jokes, puns, silliness

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    Master OptiBoarder chm2023's Avatar
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    Cheney/Great White Hunter jokes, puns, silliness

    Cheney received bad intelligence, specifically that his companion was a grouse. Nonetheless, the VP states that even had he known the intelligence was faulty, he still would have shot his companion. Because, as we all know, in a post 9/11 world..........

    Cheney's next big initiative: No Grouse Left Behind


    :p

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    Damn you Democrats are vicious.

    The man made a serious bad mistake that could happen to any quaile hunter. I wish it had happened to some of the Quail hunters several elections ago. Why kick Cheny for something that would cause anyone serious regret and saddness?

    One of my greatest fears is that some child will come darting out between two cars and I will hit him. It wouldn't be my fault I guess, but I still couldn't live with it.

    Chip

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    Pomposity! Spexvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    The man made a serious bad mistake that could happen to any quaile hunter. I wish it had happened to some of the Quail hunters several elections ago. Why kick Cheny for something that would cause anyone serious regret and saddness?
    Because...
    he's conservative
    he's republican
    he's arrogant
    republicans kick democrats
    he's ruining our country


    Why would you wish it happened to some of the Quail hunters several elections ago? Why kick them for something that would cause anyone serious regret and saddness?
    ...Just ask me...

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    Master OptiBoarder chm2023's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    The man made a serious bad mistake that could happen to any quaile hunter. I wish it had happened to some of the Quail hunters several elections ago. Why kick Cheny for something that would cause anyone serious regret and saddness?

    One of my greatest fears is that some child will come darting out between two cars and I will hit him. It wouldn't be my fault I guess, but I still couldn't live with it.

    Chip
    Oh for heaven's sake, lighten up.

    And I don't call what Cheney does hunting, I call it trigger pulling. Driving to the site in a limo and having the birds let loose from cages? No wonder he misfired, he hasn't actually been hunting for years!

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    Pomposity! Spexvet's Avatar
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    It's not so funny, anymore:

    http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/...ney/index.html
    CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (CNN) -- The fellow hunter who was shot and wounded by Vice President Dick Cheney has suffered a minor heart attack after a piece of birdshot migrated to his heart, a hospital spokesman said Tuesday.
    The republicans tried to impeach Clinton for adultery. What do you think will happen to Cheney for killing someone?
    ...Just ask me...

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    Damn you Republicans

    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    The man made a serious bad mistake that could happen to any quaile hunter. I wish it had happened to some of the Quail hunters several elections ago. Why kick Cheny for something that would cause anyone serious regret and saddness?
    I don't know, why not ask Scott McClellan why, when speaking of the UT championship football team who's uniform color is orange, he said "The orange that they’re wearing is not because they’re concerned that the vice president may be there".

    Or maybe you'd want to ask Jeb Bush who, after putting a bright orange 'No Farmers, No Food' sticker on his chest at some ralley or other, said "I’m a little concerned that Dick Cheney is going to walk in".

    Yeah, man those Republicans are damnable.

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    Master OptiBoarder chm2023's Avatar
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    "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central:

    • "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

    • "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted — it's just not worth it."

    ___

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    FROM LETTERMAN
    > Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass
    > destruction: It's Dick Cheney."
    > "But here is the sad part - before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the
    > guy's request for body armor."
    > "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
    > "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican
    > donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash.
    > So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
    > _"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC:_
    > (http://television.aol.com/show/main....d=EP0043973170)
    > "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been
    > atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney
    > accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.
    > "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a
    > fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a
    > lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
    > "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed,
    > 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?"'
    > "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick
    > Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"

    > _"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS:_
    > (http://television.aol.com/show/main....d=SH7151230000)
    > "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use
    > his other face. He'll be all right."
    > "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if
    > you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's
    > going to be in the back.'"
    > "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18
    > hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that.
    > Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."
    > "Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is
    > they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past".
    >
    >

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    Master OptiBoarder rep's Avatar
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    Grow up

    Hope you don't have any "fun" accidents in the near future.

    Chip was right some things are just not "funny". No matter who it is.

    Rep

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    Master OptiBoarder spartus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    The man made a serious bad mistake that could happen to any quaile hunter. I wish it had happened to some of the Quail hunters several elections ago. Why kick Cheny for something that would cause anyone serious regret and saddness?
    Let's see which of the NRA's gun safety rules he broke (in bold):

    • always point the muzzle in a safe direction.
    • Always keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to shoot.
    • Always keep the firearm unloaded until ready to use.
    • Know how the gun operates.
    • Be sure your gun and ammunition are compatible.
    • Carry only one gauge/caliber of ammunition when shooting.
    • Be sure of your target - and what's beyond.
    • Wear eye and ear protection as appropriate.
    • Don't mix alcohol or drugs with shooting.
    • Be aware that circumstances my require additional rules unique to a particular situation.
    • Keep guns and ammunition properly stored and inaccessible to unauthorized users, especially children.


    The item in red is something we'll likely never know for sure one way or the other, since the deputy who came to the ranch that night was turned away, as this article, illustratively titled "Cheney Violates Cardinal Rule of Hunting", tells us.

    Far from kicking, these are serious questions, and the quote-unquote answers they've provided so far are creating more questions. Aside from negligently handling a firearm, the direct consequence being seriously wounding his hunting buddy, not bothering to notify the proper authorities for a day or so (though Karl got a call that day), and not even bothering to get the proper license until, I dunno, today, I guess. I think that the 78 year-old man laying in ICU, full of birdshot and suffering heart attacks, who is being blamed for being shot in the first place is reason enough to want to know what actually happened.

    Aside from all that, the infuriating thing to me is that these supposed paragons of "personal responsibility" never seem to take any.

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    As many cardiac drugs that Chenny is on, it's very unlikely that he would mix alcohol with them.

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    Master OptiBoarder spartus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    As many cardiac drugs that Chenny is on, it's very unlikely that he would mix alcohol with them.
    Glad you put it so simply, Chip. He shouldn't go hunting anymore, unless he's just watching.

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    Do I really have to bring up the hero of all liberals, Sen. Theodore Kennedy who kills women, leaves them at the bottom of the river for 24 hours before even mentioning it to anyone, and never attempted to come to his victim's aid. And rather than calling the press, which in Cheney's case claims "it has a right to know." Actually had even the court records sealed for 25 years so no one could know the truth, much less prosecute? And we all know damn well Teddy was drinking and driving.

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    How about a little honesty

    Quote Originally Posted by spartus
    Let's see which of the NRA's gun safety rules he broke (in bold):
    • Don't mix alcohol or drugs with shooting.
    The item in red is something we'll likely never know for sure one way or the other, since the deputy who came to the ranch that night was turned away, as this article,.
    In the same article YOU quoted

    Gilbert San Miguel, chief deputy sheriff for Kenedy County, said the report had not been completed Monday and that it was being handled as a hunting accident. He said his department's investigation had found that alcohol was not a factor in the shooting.

    But let's not let the facts get in the way of a good smear campaign.

    Rep

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    New Bumper Sticker

    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    Do I really have to bring up the hero of all liberals, Sen. Theodore Kennedy who kills women, leaves them at the bottom of the river for 24 hours before even mentioning it to anyone, and never attempted to come to his victim's aid. And rather than calling the press, which in Cheney's case claims "it has a right to know." Actually had even the court records sealed for 25 years so no one could know the truth, much less prosecute? And we all know damn well Teddy was drinking and driving.
    I had rather go hunting with Dick Cheney
    than riding with Ted Kennedy!

    Rep

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    sub specie aeternitatis Pete Hanlin's Avatar
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    As the VP, the speculation and jabs come with the job- so all's fair in politics.

    I'm just glad the gentleman was not fatally injured. Knock on wood, we've never had an accident during our hunts from the family camp.
    Last edited by Pete Hanlin; 02-14-2006 at 10:51 PM.
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    http://linkedin.com/in/pete-hanlin-72a3a74

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    Quote Originally Posted by rep
    In the same article YOU quoted

    Gilbert San Miguel, chief deputy sheriff for Kenedy County, said the report had not been completed Monday and that it was being handled as a hunting accident. He said his department's investigation had found that alcohol was not a factor in the shooting.

    But let's not let the facts get in the way of a good smear campaign.

    Rep
    So you'll point me to the results of the alcohol testing the deputy performed when he interviewed Cheney on Saturday nigh--oh, that's right. He didn't:

    At least one deputy showed up at the ranch's front gate later in the evening and asked to speak to Cheney but was turned away by the Secret Service, Zahren said. There was some miscommunication that arrangements had already been made to interview the vice president in the morning, he said.

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    Master OptiBoarder spartus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rep
    I had rather go hunting with Dick Cheney
    than riding with Ted Kennedy!

    Rep
    I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that Laura Bush has killed exactly as many people with her car as you claim Ted Kennedy has.

    And it's "would", not "had".

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    Pomposity! Spexvet's Avatar
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    I like:

    ''To this day, Mrs. Bush remains unable to talk about it.''
    Is that because she was too drunk to remember? We'll never know for sure.
    ...Just ask me...

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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    Do I really have to bring up the hero of all liberals, Sen. Theodore Kennedy who kills women, leaves them at the bottom of the river for 24 hours before even mentioning it to anyone, and never attempted to come to his victim's aid. And rather than calling the press, which in Cheney's case claims "it has a right to know." Actually had even the court records sealed for 25 years so no one could know the truth, much less prosecute? And we all know damn well Teddy was drinking and driving.
    Chip,
    I am a Democrat. I condemn Senator Edward Kennedy's action with respect to the Chappaquiddick, and acknowledge that he should have been punished to greatest extent of the law. He was, in my estimation, drinking and driving. Yes, he killed a woman.

    Now, join me in bipartisan condemnation of the unacceptable behavior of Big Dick.
    ...Just ask me...

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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    As many cardiac drugs that Chenny is on, it's very unlikely that he would mix alcohol with them.
    Why would you say that? If he used the same judgment regarding his drinking and drugging as he did in his shooting his friend - I mean a quail - I'd say he was probably drunk hunting.
    ...Just ask me...

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    Pomposity! Spexvet's Avatar
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    My opinion on gun control has been that there should be no controls on rifles, assault weapons should only be in the hands of the military, and I've been on the fence about handguns - common sense tells me that something made in a way that enhances its concealment is usually used for no good. But I'm re-evaluating my position on the NRA. :idea: If contributing will allow more republicans to get shot, I'm writing a check! :bbg: ;)
    ...Just ask me...

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    Master OptiBoarder spartus's Avatar
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    Odd, isn't it, that there were four "It wasn't his fault!/Ted Kennedy!" replies in the 10 minutes following my initial posts, and none after mentioning the time Laura Bush killed a guy.

    So, next question: If Whittington has a further complications that end up killing him, is Cheney on the hook for manslaughter, or are we just going to start pre-emptively blaming his doctors now?

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    It wasn't Laura Bush

    It was when she was 17 before she married. Same woman yes. But not a Bush at the time.

    How about the shoddy reporting ( by the Clinton Administration) of Vince Foster.

    Everybody knows the Clintons had him murdered. There is just as much evidence of that as there is that Cheney was hunting drunk.

    Some of us have jobs, that don't allow us to monitor the internet on an hourly basis.

    Rep

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    Master OptiBoarder chm2023's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson
    Do I really have to bring up the hero of all liberals, Sen. Theodore Kennedy who kills women, leaves them at the bottom of the river for 24 hours before even mentioning it to anyone, and never attempted to come to his victim's aid. And rather than calling the press, which in Cheney's case claims "it has a right to know." Actually had even the court records sealed for 25 years so no one could know the truth, much less prosecute? And we all know damn well Teddy was drinking and driving.
    And two wrongs, as we all know, make a right.:hammer: Don't forget about George Washington cutting down that cherry tree. B*****d.

    The real issue here has nothing to do with Ted or Laura or whomever. I am sure the VP simply made an error in judgment (insert the obvious slam here!). This appears to be a simple case of reaping what you sow--the administration and especially Cheney are very secretive and the press is jumping all over this I believe as a very simple and straightforward example of that attitude. Hell I don't care about Cheney's hunting escapades but I do have a hankering to know more about his ties to Halliburton or why he continued the charade of Iraq's role in 9/11. You know, little stuff like that.
    Last edited by chm2023; 02-15-2006 at 12:16 PM.

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