Dennis Miller and MNF...

[Pete Hanlin]

Okay, are there any other OptiBoarders out there watching Monday Night Football? I'll admit that Dennis Miller comes up with at least one witty remark that makes me laugh during the game. However, as a whole I say "Give me back Don Meredith and Howard Cosell!"

Come on, I know ABC wants to breathe life into a show that has been dropping in viewership over the past few years, but really...

• The little scoreboard read "Pack" and "Fins!" How about the good ole "GB" and "Mia?"
  
• Eric Dickerson may have played for the Colts, but he's barely literate. Go to speech class, Eric- then apply for a broadcaster's job...
  
• The young lady on the sidelines is younger than half the players. Leslie Visser was bad enough (what with her "hat of the week" and all), but THIS. Listen sweetie, go back to 90210 or wherever you're from.
  
• Dan Fouts is actually pretty good. Al is still the man (the most humorous part of this fiasco is watching how he reacts to Miller).
  
• Its time for a new theme song. Yes, I am ready for some football- you should know, you've been asking for the past seven years.

If ABC really wants to spice up MNF, they should allow viewers to vote members of the cast off the show. This week's nominee- Eric Dickerson.

Just show me the game,
Pete

[HenryB]

Pete,

I'm with you on pretty much everything, ESPECIALLY Mr. Dickerson.....I actually felt bad for him as he fumbled (no pun intended) his words....he needs to get the BOOT!

I like the MNF song though, I vote to keep that!

Biggest reason I don't watch all of the game......it is on TOO LATE!!!! When you have to get up at the crack of dawn to get the kids ready for school and get yourself to work, etc.......it is just TOO late to stay up....I'm lucky if I make it to halftime.

That's my 2 cents......BTW, what was the final score?

Henry "cant stay up that late" B

[Judy Canty]

Personally, having spent High School and College in the marching band, I'd like to see a halftime show now and again...a lot of work goes into those shows and I'd like to see a few of them.

[mikeh]

I think you're on to something Pete! What's wrong with MNF?

How about professional football, and all the other major professional sports, are so intent on trying to capture the alledged millions of slack-jaw viewers that they've ruined the games.

70 home runs? No traveling called until the superstar takes 9 steps? The "Man in the Middle" who is larger and taller than any two players, is described as a "talent" despite the fact that he can'make a free throw?

Our collegiate, non-major sports are filled with foreign players on scholarship. I guess there are no American youth who can play golf or tennis, or run a mile.

As Pogo used to say: "We has met the enemy and they is us." That's the problem with Monday Night Football!

[stephanie]

I personally am looking forward to Jan. for the superbowl. No it is NOT because I just love the game. I am a football widow so I hate this time of the year. It's not that I don't like to watch,but geez give me a break!!! Did Dan Marino not get a broad casting job? It surprises me if he didn't. I told my husband he can't watch pre-season football. If it doesn't count anyway why watch? I really need to get a hobby that really annoys my husband since he has so many that really annoy me!!!
Have a great day!!!
Steph

[Bev Heishman]

Steph,

My feelings exactly. I get so ticked off about extended weekend coverage.

Things to see if your husband is zoning and you can get away with coming up with another hobby:

Take your clothes off and walk past the TV. Don't do it if his friends are there.

Some helpful cures:

Start collecting something expensive like Longaberger Baskets. I personally have started making memory books. The bucks add up and that sometimes gets their attention. Especially if you ask some of the others who enjoy this join you at your home.

Check out the local fitness club. Some good looking guys spend their time there getting buff. You can do this too and enjoy the scenery.

Have fun!

[Pete Hanlin]

I suppose I'm lucky. Each year, my wife has made more of an effort to understand the game of football and the attraction it holds to me (not that she doesn't still complain about it from time to time :) ). If I could just get her to understand the concept of "4th and inches."

Basically, I think she has begun to see football for what it really is- a chance for me to take a nap on Sunday afternoons. I don't usually like naps, but give me a lazy Sunday after church with someone like Matt Millen rambling on over a slow paced game... yawn.

Also, football is a way to communicate with my family. I've enjoyed Monday nights with one of the kids (and when they were small enough, both of them) falling asleep watching a game with me on a recliner... putting up the Christmas ornaments with Penn State/Michigan on the tube... relaxing after Thanksgiving dinner with dad and my brothers... falling asleep watching MNF after the first day of deer season... New Year's day with shrimp and a dozen friends to watch a bowl game... not to mention going to Happy Valley to attend PSU games with my Grandfather when I was young... good stuff.

My wife also realizes the futility of resistance. I have both son and daughter trained quite well. Pierce (5, born on the first day of the 1994 NFL season, Colts beat the then Oilers 42-14, no I didn't watch the game...) can identify lots of official's signals, and Sara (4) knows to jump up and down when Penn State or the Colts score a touchdown. The best is when Sara yells "We are..." and Pierce yells back "...Penn State!" (you gotta go to Beaver Stadium in State College to understand).

As to the wife walking sans clothing in front of the TV... great idea! Just as long as we keep the game on :D .

Football- its a way of life.
<FONT COLOR=#0000FF>P</FONT>enn <FONT COLOR=#0000FF>S</FONT>tate <FONT COLOR=#0000FF>P</FONT>ete

PS- And that's why I'm so miffed about Monday Night Football. Heck, why not just completely sell out to the kiddie crowd and have Brittany Spears announce the games?!? "Back to you, Al. Al? AL??? You GO Al!"

[Blake]

Originally posted by Bev Heishman:

Things to see if your husband is zoning and you can get away with coming up with another hobby:

Take your clothes off and walk past the TV. Don't do it if his friends are there.

Was the last sentence really necessary? LOL

Personally, if I'm watching an important game (such as the Alabama v. Auburn "Iron Bowl), Britney Spears could stand stark naked in front of the TV and I'd only touch her to move her out of the way so I could see the next play.
Of course, in the back of my mind I'd try to keep up with which way she went - the game won't last forever ;-)

Blake



[This message has been edited by Blake (edited 08-23-2000).]

[Pete Hanlin]

Go <FONT COLOR=#0000FF>War</FONT> <FONT COLOR=#FF0000>Eagles</FONT>! (Uh, I suppose you COULD be a <FONT COLOR=#FF0000>Crimson Tide</FONT> fan though... like my wife, who is from Birmingham). Our first date was the 1986 Penn State/Alabama game. Penn State won, of course (but that will never make up for the Sugar Bowl loss to Bama).

Pete




[This message has been edited by Pete Hanlin (edited 08-23-2000).]

[Blake]

&lt;FONT COLOR=#FF0000&gt;Roll Tide Roll!!!&lt;/FONT&gt;

:-)

Aw Pete! Just when I thought you were an okay guy, you go pulling for the "dark side". You should know, through your wife, that football in Alabama is all important, and there are only two sides.
I've been a 'Bama fan as long as I can remember. Fortunately, my school doesn't have a football team... yet.

Blake

[stephanie]

Hi everyone! Bev you certainly had some good ideas. Unfortunately, my husband would probably just push me out of the way of the tv! As far as the expensive hobby goes I am the tight wad in the family so it would bother me more than him. Everytime I buy something I think is too expensive he says to me "don't worry it's only money and we'll make more" I totally understand the game. It has nothing to do with confusion about what is going on. My husband thought that at one time and said to me that I would like it if I knew what was going on. So I sat there to his amazement and gave him a play by play for a couple of mins. I guess he must have forgot that I have a father. Especially a father who has no sons makes his daughters watch! I don't hate the game I just can't understand the obsession. How in the world can watching Football be more important than going out once in awhile? My husband would go as far to go somewhere with me and not tell me there was an "important" game on and rush me through the store or wherever we were. I guess it keeps him out of trouble. I can't complain too much it is the only sport he really watches.
Have a great day!
Steph

[Bev Heishman]

Hey Stephanie,

I too am from a family with no boys I know what you mean. You had to watch the game and learn it. The same for auto racing. I don't like either. Football is boring not enough action once you get attached to soccer, field hockey or ice hockey.

I can't sit still long enough to watch it. I believe they program some type of subliminal message that only men can interpert due to the Y chromosome. That is why all htis stuff is so much of a dollar maker.

If it isn't football it is basketball,wwf wrestling or any version of "Beam me up Scottie". What can I say.

Have a great day

[Cindy Hamlin]

I, for one, am female and LOVE football! I love the grit and the hits! I appreciate that it is a battle of wills and you have to push through. It is slower than basketball which I have problems keeping up with. Football, on the other hand, is constant motion with intermission. I love it! Most men, are a little taken aback by a lady who knows as much as them!

[stephanie]

Originally posted by Bev Heishman:
Hey Stephanie,

I too am from a family with no boys I know what you mean. You had to watch the game and learn it. The same for auto racing. I don't like either. Football is boring not enough action once you get attached to soccer, field hockey or ice hockey.

I can't sit still long enough to watch it. I believe they program some type of subliminal message that only men can interpert due to the Y chromosome. That is why all htis stuff is so much of a dollar maker.

If it isn't football it is basketball,wwf wrestling or any version of "Beam me up Scottie". What can I say.

Have a great day

Oh gosh Bev, I am still laughing over your post since NOT only is my husband a football fan...he is also a Star trek fan. I hate both. He likes all that sci-fi stuff. I say if you want to scare me with outrageous stuff talk about REAL stuff. Like women giving birth to 7 babies!!!!!! Now that is scary!!! Football is just a bunch of really big dudes who are WAY overpaid. I think the commercials during the superbowl are much more entertaining than the game. Every other second you are at commercial anyway. What is the point?! I am still laughing at the subliminal message comment you made also.LOL!!! Very funny stuff!
Have a great weekend!!!
Steph

[Bev Heishman]

Dear Stephanie,

Life can be a rounded out experience in the ability to tolerate anything that comes our way.

I have been to a Trekkie Convention. Met Leonard Nimoy minus the Spock ears. I wanted a tribble. Get ready for this. The Yearbook Editor/editorial cartoonist for our school newspaper and my journalism classmate is the managing editor of Starlog Magazine. He had a crush on me and drew all kind of cartoon Star Trek charactures of our staffs. I am keeping them for posterity. You think Pete is great with satire! You should see my April Fools Day edition. You thought I was joking on beam me up Scottie. I loved him as a dear friend ....always will.

The implant on the Y chromosome occurs on the 23 gene alpha quadrant sector. The antennae receiver is located on the beta quadrant position at 145 degrees. You can test this out by extracting spinal fluid and scanning with an electron microscope. You must first dip the slide in what ever beer brand that is on the proceding commercial prior to the extraction.

Stop laughing. I will be removed from the forum by the superior warlord shortly regarding these posts. However they are designed to replicate in the NFL Nebula.

And back we go to Pete's MNF!


[This message has been edited by Bev Heishman (edited 08-29-2000).]

[Bev Heishman]

Pete,

How about the new PennState Scoreboard? Awesome.

[Pete Hanlin]

Bev,
Pete withdrew to the sanctum of the second tv last Sunday (because "My Dog Skip" was playing on the "main" tv) to watch the Kickoff Classic between Penn State and the California team named after a prophalactic device... Now I know how Wake Forest fans must feel... ugh!

Pete is as yet recovering from the debaucle that appeared in blue and white uniforms last Sunday, so I'm afraid any discussion of anything related to Penn State will have to be postponed until I've fully "come to grips" with my beloved team's mediocrity this year. Pete "wondering if Paterno can get those 7 wins this year" Hanlin
PS- If this is any indication of PSU's team this year, SOMEBODY beam me up... quick!

[Bev Heishman]

Pete,

Maybe it is soon time for Joe to hang it up. Lots of flack over allowing the player arrested for assault in May not to have any disciplinary action when others who participated in the drunken brawls are.

Joe was selling Holsum Bread on TV this morning...he especially likes their Milano Italian Bread line as he squeezed the product.

Maybe they are now using bread loaves in practice instead of footballs.

Bev

[EyeManFla]

Originally posted by Bev Heishman:
Hey Stephanie,

If it isn't football it is basketball,wwf wrestling or any version of "Beam me up Scottie". What can I say.

Have a great day

AND JUST WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT ????????!!!!

Actually, my wife...ok,ex-wife, and I watched football all the time. We got very involved in Pop Warner Football when our son started playing.....however, when football season was over........!!!!!!!!!!

[Jeff Trail]

Hey I can defend it from the "other side".. such as everytime I turn around the boss (wife) has "life Time" channel on and I end up having to watch the "guy" getting bashed :)
OR God forbid if nothing is on life time then it's over to the network where we learn about gardens, or Martha Stuarts latest "tip"
I do ENJOY the building shows though :) nothing like beating stuff with a hammer or the vrooooom of power saws :)(Norm is the "real" builder)
All in all I really like the recomendation of the "walk by naked" thing.. Pete and the rest, I like football as much as the next guy but NAKED WOMEN?.. come on, that's a no-brainer in my book!! :) Well not exactly connected to the "brain" but what the heck..
Well in departing, I only get phased out for two things, College football and NASCAR, since Susi is a NASCAR fan as well then I guess that one doesn't count..Maybe if she got a cheerleaders outfit then football would get tossed out the window as well.. that's what they make VCR's for.. just duck all the news and every neighbor till I get to see the game on tape :)

Jeff"Give me ANYTHING over "life time" any day of the week" Trail

P.S. if I have to watch one more movie with Patty Duke I'm going to go "optical" (Same thing as "postal" but switched into our "terms" ) LOL

P.S.S. As an old WVU guy.. I still say go Mounties!!.. and miss the rival we used to have with Penn.State. ...atleast we still get to bang heads with Pitt. :-)


[This message has been edited by Jeff Trail (edited 09-11-2000).]

[Pete Hanlin]

Mountaineers?!?! We used to go to WVU when they played Penn State. Then one game turned out to be "Mountaineer Day." The fans actually had muskets in the stadium (I don't think they let them do that anymore). Talk about feeling a little uncomfortable...

I just wanted to give you a huge <FONT COLOR=#FF0000>"AMEN"</FONT> to the "anti-Lifetime" stand you took. Good Heavens, that has to be the most awful channel on cable. "Television for women," yeah must be- cause I sure as heck don't get it! Last night my wife was watching some movie about a guy with an evil twin who came from nowhere and tied him up and stole his wife, life, etc. (see, I was even listening at 2am when she was describing it to me ;) ). We have a standing joke at our house. I can walk by the T.V., and tell her within 5 seconds if the movie she's watching is on LifeTime (there's always some evil man trying to destroy the life of some purile women who's battling against male oppression- oh, and more times than not Robert Urich is the star... traitor, and to think he used to drive a cool Mustang in "Spencer for Hire!")

Pete "and she says FOOTBALL is boring???!!!" Hanlin
PS- now that I've voted Eric Dickerson off the MNF island, its time for Melissa Stark to go! Dennis can stay for a while...

[Rex]

PS- now that I've voted Eric Dickerson off the MNF island, its time for Melissa Stark to go! Dennis can stay for a while...[/I]

What?! You've got to be kidding!! Leave Melissa Stark, Suzy Kobler and the other new one something Werner alone. I mean when the game isn't worth watching at least they are.
And did you catch the Dennis Miller line about somebody's knee "being scope as much as as Redneck abducted by aliens"? Now that was funny footbal fodder.

Rex

[Bev Heishman]

Gees Pete,

I went to visit my daughter the past two weekends at Lock Haven University. I thought of you both times when I saw several die hard PSU fans. They were easily identifiable on RT 80 and I wondered if I could send you some things to spruce up your car on a road trip. The biggest thing are the huge paw prints all over the sides trunk and roof of the cars. The classic Nittany Lion front license plate. PSU flag hanging from the antenna's and the back passenger windows. Last but not least there is the tail hanging out of the trunks or back van doors.

[Jeff Trail]

Originally posted by Pete Hanlin:
Mountaineers?!?! We used to go to WVU when they played Penn State. Then one game turned out to be "Mountaineer Day." The fans actually had muskets in the stadium (I don't think they let them do that anymore). Talk about feeling a little uncomfortable...

YEA, isn't it great? :) ..

Last night my wife was watching some movie about a guy with an evil twin who came from nowhere and tied him up and stole his wife, life, etc. (see, I was even listening at 2am when she was describing it to me ;)

AND Since my wife (watched the samething last nite) you do KNOW that that was the guy that played Frisco on General Hospital and was married to Felicia etc. etc. wtc. something about Anna Devane and blackie and a bunch of other ramblings off on a tangent!!
I also got the full report.. BUT she hated the ending, you were not sure if the wife shot the :good brother" or the "bad brother" or something like that..
JUST make sure our wives NEVER meet I would hate to see my phone bill when they started swapping this stuff back and forth and one thing leads to another and I went from hearing about the "evil brother" to somehow learning the history of Genral Hospital!!

Jeff "give me sci-fi, AMC, A&E and the learning channel ESPN (1&2 of course) and I'm a happy camper" Trail

[Pete Hanlin]

Bev,
My truck currently sports a PSU license plate, the requisite window flag, and a "Penn State University" window sticker (hey, I did attend a class at PSU, so I guess I'm a quasi-alumni ;) ). All it earns me down here is a lot of "hey, what's up with Penn State this year?" questions (at the gas station, the grocery store, and even occasionally at red lights ). I'll be at the Florida State v. North Carolina game this Saturday, tailgating and wearing my Nittany Blue and White (I just love abuse...).

Jeff,
Yeah, I got to listen to the same **** about Kin Shriner (or whatever the guy's name was). Deb firmly believes the lady ended up with the "bad" brother (this conviction from a gal who couldn't care less who Joe Lieberman is... ). About the only place your wife is likely to meet mine is at a Wal-Mart. Ah, LifeTime and Wal-Mart... I've got to be a good boy, because if Hell is custom made for each Sinner, mine will involve a lot of both of these... ;)

Pete "again I say... 'and she says FOOTBALL is supposed to be mindless???'" Hanlin

PS- Imagine if Monday Night Football were on LifeTime! Al Micheals sitting on a davenport in a turtleneck drinking Starbucks and discussing recipes with Katie Courick and Diane Keaton... "Well ladies, Peyton Manning just executed a QB keeper to the 13..." "You know, Al, you can get grass stains out of a uniform by applying cold cream..." <FONT COLOR=#FF0000>AUGGGGGH</FONT>!!!