Optical jokes

[songrenle]

sorry for my not having one, but i know somebody in China call the myopic people in reading "ga liang", it's a fun name or a bad statement, ones need the same culture background will understand it

[rounded optician]

patient was being examined during a lightning storm...

Dr: "which is better....one....or (boom thunder crack, lights out!) uh, two.."
patient: uh, can you show me one again??
Dr: I wish I could!!

[eyemax2manoj]

A lady in mid 40's walked in my office one fine morning with a INTERESTING COMPLAIN : Your Optometrist is responsible to ruin My Happy Married Life !
How ? my receptionist asked .
she said " see ! i was happilly married for now 10 years ,my husband loved my always ,always paise my beauty ect ect ..but since your doctor gave him his NEW EYEGLASSES with his unknown new eyeglass prescription .......He Hates Me "

[DragonLensmanWV]

Dear DragonlensmanWV,

For once it wasn't me picking on WV.

K12311997

Obxeyeguy

:D:cheers::D:cheers::D:cheers::D
k12311997

How can you make fun of a state that has people like this in it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRxRh...exp_r2-2r-1-HM

[Aaron N]

Does anybody have any good "optical jokes"?

This may not be a joke, but it's funny.

A customer came in with horrifically bent and broken glasses and said they were defective. She said "I woke up and they were on my night stand, I picked them up and they fell apart." After showing her the paint flaking where the metal is twisted like a screw, she maintained her story.

I said, "Well ma'am. It must have been the eyeglass gnomes. They sneak into your house and bash all glasses with their tiny optical hammers! It's all they can do after retiring from being gremlins on WWII air corps planes."

Conversation over.....

[godin33]

This actually happend........
Had a patient come in, about 85........
when the Doc brought him out after he was done his son (who drove him in) asked...."how did it go?"
"not good......Dr says my retina is attached to my a**hole......and THATS why I have a S*itty outlook on life"

Took me about a half our to compose myself!

True story

[xrayspex]

Thread over
Fezz wins

[Fezz]

Thread over
Fezz wins

Great!

I'll start the celebrations!!!

:cheers::cheers::cheers::cheers::cheers::cheers:

[Mactire]

Had a man in the store, annoying my female collegues and calling them *****es, so they send him away.

Later he came back, my collegues asked me to help him (read: get rid of him) But he did normal at that moment and wanted new glasses in his frame.

So we went to the examening room...

Het started reading the letters in a random order. At first I thought, that's funny.
I mean, asking "what letters can you read" and then reading the letters is a random order. That's hilarious ^_^

But he kept on doing that and reading from right to left.
So I told him how it worked, read from left to right. Red OR green, etc.
So I sayd to him: "Your dyslectic or stupid, eighter way I can't take a good exam this way"
The guy: "I'm not dyslectic!"
I replied: "That's settled then!"
Awkward silence... The guy: "I'm not stupid eighter!"
Me: "Ok, again from the beginning."

I ended up selling him two top of the notch glasses in his shabby frame.
But looking back at it I should just have send him away.

[optical24/7]

Thread over
Fezz wins

One question...........Did he win for his looks or something he wrote?








:bbg::cheers::cheers::shiner::cheers::bbg:

[DragonLensmanWV]

Thread over
Fezz wins

you have wrong thread.

[varmint]

you mean Fezz won & he wasn't even here?

[bourdie1979]

A woman is having lunch with her girlfriends, and their talking about her new beau. She says "I've been seeing this Optometrist, but I don't think it's going to work out." Her girlfriends say "Aweee" and "Whyyyyy?" to which she replies...
"Everytime we have sex, he gets into two positions and askes "Which one is better? 1...........or 2....??"