Professional Advice Needed

**rhondaboman** · 12-02-2004, 02:04 PM

Having worked in the industy for a few years now, I've had the opportunity to work with the general public, doctors, opticians, business owners and frame stylist.

I appreciate the difference and understand the challenges faced by the professionals working directly with the public. I realize there is a never ending supply of both courteous and demanding and sometimes downright Nasty clients, and "like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get".

Can anyone help me, "GOD HELP ME", with a PROFESSIONAL, who is downright nasty. He can belittle our entire staff, swear, threaten, (yes, occasionally physically), on any given day, and has for the last half dozen years or more.

In order to give this client one person to assist him, I've stepped up to the plate. Can anyone give me advice on how to maintain a professional relationship, keep him to the point, (has a tendancy to rant and go into his entire day), and yes deal with the punishment when our human side has errored.

Painkillers seems a drastic step, (for me not for him):)

**For-Life** · 12-02-2004, 02:06 PM

You have the right to fire a client just like the client has the right to fire you.

**1968** · 12-02-2004, 05:53 PM

"Maintaining a professional relationship" is incumbent upon him as well as you. If he can't grant common courtesy, then I agree with "For-Life"... fire him. Sometimes I tell patients directly that they need to act appropriately towards my staff or they will be asked to seek care elsewhere. Sometimes I write them a letter stating that they are no longer welcome in our office because they acted inappropriately towards my staff (along with a copy of his or her records and the names of a few other doctors).

**rhondaboman** · 12-02-2004, 06:00 PM

I wish it were that simple. For some reason we are hanging on to this client. I feel an odd sort of reluctance to say, "let's not do this anymore",

one: because I don't give up easily
and two: someone else will be forced to deal with the situation.
I would prefer to learn how to better control the situation, though not a glutton for punishment, this isn't the only guy in the world who's gona railroad me.

**1968** · 12-02-2004, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by rhondaboman

I wish it were that simple.

You are right. It is probably easier to terminate the relationship, than to try to make it work. If you're going to try to make it work, you need to confront the client (face-to-face or in writing) and tell him that his behavior needs to improve or there will be consequences to that behavior. Are you looking for specific wording on this? Is the decision to terminate the relationship ultimately up to you are someone else?

**Joann Raytar** · 12-02-2004, 07:26 PM

I think we've all had a few patients like yours. I've found as long as you don't get upset and start yelling and arguing along with them you can often take control of the situation. Sometimes people just get frustrated and figure the squeaky wheel gets the oil. They yell because they feel somethings wrong, they may or may not be able to express exactly what's wrong and they don't think you're going to fix it for them or they may think you'll give them a hard time. Other times people are just mean.

I would probably have drawn the line and ended the professional relationship with the individual when that person physically threatened an employee. Threats of violence should not be tolerated and no staff should have to be put under that kind of stress. Not to mention, what if something does happen?

**Johns** · 12-02-2004, 08:00 PM

Please tell us that business is not such that you are so desperate as to be forced to deal with someone like this.

Why bother?:hammer:

**Monkeysee** · 12-02-2004, 11:49 PM

Here are some books you may find helpful, (sorry I don't have the authors offhand, but found them very helpful when dealing with nasty employers, customers etc....
"How to deal with Difficult People", "The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander", "How to Work for a Jerk", "Life is Not a Stress Rehearsal", and "It's a Job not a Jail"....there's probably lots of others at your library that deal with the topic.
It's nice to know other people have been there done that too.
Some of these ornery people have mental health issues and just need their meds adjusted, (or their problem diagnosed). Good luck!
:cheers:

**mrba** · 12-03-2004, 12:13 AM

One of the offices we supply sends a letter dismissing the patient.

**ziggy** · 12-06-2004, 03:53 PM

If you are unwilling or unable to tell this guy to hit the road you then will have to deal with him on his level. If you try kindness or try to placate him, he will only see this as a weekness and he will pounce!!! Next time he starts to act like a jerk, tell him if he dont shape up you'll kick his a**. If this dont help it's sure to make you fell better!:D

**Spexvet** · 12-06-2004, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by rhondaboman

I wish it were that simple. For some reason we are hanging on to this client. I feel an odd sort of reluctance to say, "let's not do this anymore",

one: because I don't give up easily
and two: someone else will be forced to deal with the situation.
I would prefer to learn how to better control the situation, though not a glutton for punishment, this isn't the only guy in the world who's gona railroad me.

You might find that if you calmly tell the guy that you can no longer continue the relationship on these terms, he may become much less aggressive. I've seen this happen many times. And if he doesn't, you really do need to get rid of him.

**chip anderson** · 12-06-2004, 06:03 PM

Rhonda:

The first thing a girl should learn is how to say: "No!

**Robert Wagner** · 12-06-2004, 08:04 PM

Like most of the posts say, someone needs to stand up to the plate and say enough is enough, If you think about it, that same patient will be back year end and year out, for an exam, Rx only, adjustment etc...
Do you truly want to deal with this type of patient?:angry: (Every year) Since the patient has threatened you/staff with phyicial as well as mental threats, that is enough to get most people thrown in jail, or at least a restraining order to not tresspass.

Give you and your staff a great relieif by "letting this patient find a new eye care proffessional" with a few sugustions of who you would recomend. Allow "the patient" 30 days to finalize any final concernenes with your office, and you would be happy to transfer any and all records to the new office at once.

You and your staff will love to hear the news!!!!!!!!!!!:cheers:

Good Luck,
Robert ;)

**rhondaboman** · 12-07-2004, 11:13 AM

Thank you all for your instruction. It's nice to know, (and maybe a little unfortunate), that other people can relate to my circumstance.

I work for a wholesale manufacturer. The client is one of our accounts. Please understand that we are truly doing the best we can to satisfy YOUR needs because your patients are OUR patients. Most, I believe, understand this. This guy, well...Some treat us as ignorant people that answer the phone FOR the lab. WE ARE the lab. We are educated, knowledgeable, friendly and very happy to help you. We generally develop close relationships with our clients because there are only a handful of us, and many, many of you.

Monkeysee: I'm an avid reader, thanks for the heads up.

With a little patience, I'm confident this situation will be resolved, one way or another. He'll realize his behavior no longer accomplishes it's goal and scare someone else, or change his relationship with us. Wish me luck..and thanks for listening to me rant..rhonda

**Johns** · 12-07-2004, 11:35 PM

Rhonda,

I still think that the majority of the advice you received is still sound. If you're the lab, there's a good chance that he's been "fired" or worn out his welcome w/ others. He must like something about your company or he wouldn't keep coming back.

**Texas Ranger** · 12-08-2004, 09:14 AM

Rhonda, back years ago, my brother had a little wholesale lab, back when he did about 50-60 custom facets a day. He had this O.D., a Dr. Grace who had several high dollar facets working in the shop, he was also 90-days past due on about $6K, and all labs need to be paid, so my brother put all of the docs work on a side table, just stopped working on all of them, until he got paid, very not-fair to the patients. Well, it seems that a lady came into the docs office to pick up her facet job, owed the doc about $400, so he called to find out why the job wasn't back, and was told why, at which point he said "I'm on my way over there to kick your a**!!", at which he was told "well, I usually go home about 5, but I guess I could wait for you..." the doc was a no show, and the money was couriered over the next day.. the lab business eventually failed because of jerks like this doc, but he's still around...when he went out of business, a prominent upscale optical was still owing him several thousand dollars, she would do business with several different labs, run up a bill, then just find some excuse to "take her business' elsewhere..sure kept her lab bills down...yet, she could carry Cartier, etc...go figure..

**Shutterbug** · 12-22-2004, 08:15 AM

Rhonda - maybe it's time to turn this over to the lab manager.

We have a female client who is like that, but never to the men, just the women. Go figure. Anyway, if the boss deals with this particular account it will either be resolved or will be his (her) problem. You shouldn't have to deal with it.

**spaceystacey** · 12-22-2004, 10:51 AM

Rhonda,
I am not very experienced in dealing with optical customers, but I am experienced in dealing with patients in a pharmacy. I think we run along the same lines. The best advice I can offer is to politely say, "Mr. Smith, I understand that you consider your vision a valuable part of your overall health. I can see how easily you get frustrated when dealing with our staff. I value you as a customer and as a human being that needs assistance. I am willing to offer my services to you as a point of contact in this office. In order to do that, I need your help. I need you to agree that when you get frustrated, please excuse yourself and walk away or please inform us that you are upset. When you are able to do this, we understand your point of view. Instead of being defensive because you raised your voice, we will be understanding because you told us that you were frustrated." At this point, see what his reaction is. I advise you not to offer an ultimatum or dismiss him without talking with him. Most likely, he knows that he is rude and grumpy. He will either respect you for confronting him and offering to help or he will be upset and walk out. If he chooses to be respectful of your wishes, you may have a customer that you can deal with, as well as his word of mouth reference for the rest of his life! Take into account his age and family history. He may not know how to communicate because of these reasons. I agree with the point that you shouldn't have to handle abusive customers, but we have to remember these people are patients. If you were to walk into a hospital sreaming at the staff because your arm was broken and your were in pain, I am pretty sure you wouldn't want them to turn you away because you were hostile! Good customer service skills are very important in this job, so it might be worth reading up on in your spare time. Practice with your family too! The kids say pizza, you say "I understand you like pizza, but I want you to be healthy and strong, so we can pick a day of the week that we can have pizza. What day would you like to pick?" That gives them a limitation, but also a choice! I hope this helped!
Stacey