Bush Humor

[Pete Hanlin]

I received this today from a friend from the left- always fun to laugh at one's self... ;)

Sadly enough, I suspect there are some who read this and seriously percieve this as the admin's reaction to real issues (a perception I fail to share or understand). Then again, that's why there are two candidates (and I notice CNN, PBS, and NPR falling all over themselves to fawn over the procedings surrounding the nomination of one of them).

Q: How many members of the Bush Admin does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 7

1. One to deny the light bulb needs to be replaced
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the light bulb.
3. One to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb.
4. One to arrange the invasion of any country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs.
5. One to get together with Dick Cheney and figure out how to pay Haliburton Industries $100 million for the new light bulb.
6. One to spearhead an amendment to the US Constitution to prevent gay and lesbian electricians from changing the light bulb.
7. One to arrange a photo op showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in an electrician's uniform.

[Pete Hanlin]

For good measure, the solution is obviously to elect John Kerry, who could change the lightbulb all by himself if he could:

1.) assure he would receive a Purple Heart if he falls off the ladder while changing the light bulb
2.) figure out a way to charge the replacement of the light bulb to only the "wealthiest" (i.e., employed American)
3.) find a way to support the concept of changing of the light bulb without supporting the appropriations of actual funds for the electrician's wages (of course, he supports the electrician personally, but...)
4.) develop a new government agency to fund the changing of all light bulbs used by Americans- after all, having a functional light bulb is the right of all Americans, and some people cannot afford their own light bulbs, so obviously everyone should turn their lightbulb changing responsibilities over to the government- (the fact that it will require a 1 month wait to have your light bulb changed will be just a minor inconvenience...)
5.) blame the Bush Administration for neglecting to notice the signs leading up to the blowing of the light bulb
6.) determine whether changing the light bulb is in line with his set of personal convictions as of this date and time (after all, just because he believes the light bulb should be changed doesn't mean he should actually change the light bulb- because he wouldn't want to impose his personal beliefs on an America that doesn't really want the light bulb changed... PS- if you understand this, you must be a Kerry supporter, cause I don't)

:)

[chm2023]

http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/07/27/tues.day/index.html

I'll see your bubble boy and raise you one nose picker!! Oh it does make you proud to be an American. Sometimes I think those monarchies were onto something.......:p

[ikon44]

you know, if you lot ran the USA i am sure it would be a nicer, more efficient country.

you definately dont want a monarchy, it makes my teeth grind seeing those freeloaders living the high life on my taxes:angry:

[mrba]

you know, if you lot ran the USA i am sure it would be a nicer, more efficient country.

you definately dont want a monarchy, it makes my teeth grind seeing those freeloaders living the high life on my taxes:angry:

Ikon.. I thought the queen recently decided to pay taxes. Is she still on the dole? Do all the tourist dollars she brings to London offset the expense?

[Cindy Hamlin]

Okay, Cus, here is one of the funny, but sadly, true Bush funnies. I was reading People Magazine this week and there was an article on the first daughters (Jenna and Barbara) and the firsts to be (Kerry's girls) when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the following quote from Barbara Bush in response to what does you dad do that embarrasses you...

...bragging that she and Jenna managed to finish college in just four years! (People Magazine 8-2-04 Page 114)

Did I miss something? College takes more than 4 years to graduate?

[mrba]

Okay, Cus, here is one of the funny, but sadly, true Bush funnies. I was reading People Magazine this week and there was an article on the first daughters (Jenna and Barbara) and the firsts to be (Kerry's girls) when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the following quote from Barbara Bush in response to what does you dad do that embarrasses you...

Did I miss something? College takes more than 4 years to graduate?

College actually takes 5 years if you include all the summer school etc. It is not uncommon especially for engineers etc...

[chm2023]

My kids finished in 4 (1 pre-med; 1 engineer; 2 liberal arts). My nieces who graduated this past year likewise. Of course, they all rode the big school bus as kids.....;)

[Jana Lewis]

Uhhh..... I finished in four years, with a BA in english. My brother finished in four years with a BA in history. Friend finished in four years with a BFA in arcitecure.


Who takes 5 years???

[shanbaum]

Who takes 5 years???

One of my sons did, mainly because he changed majors (from Composition to Music Education). Well, no, perhaps mainly because he realized he could. In any case, having spent a few years in the real world, he's going back for more, starting law school in a few weeks.

That takes three years, full-time.

The other graduated in the usual four - in Computer Science.

Four is still the norm, as best I can tell.

[Spexvet]

I received this today from a friend from the left- always fun to laugh at one's self... ;)

Sadly enough, I suspect there are some who read this and seriously percieve this as the admin's reaction to real issues (a perception I fail to share or understand). Then again, that's why there are two candidates (and I notice CNN, PBS, and NPR falling all over themselves to fawn over the procedings surrounding the nomination of one of them).

Q: How many members of the Bush Admin does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 7

1. One to deny the light bulb needs to be replaced
2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the light bulb.
3. One to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb.
4. One to arrange the invasion of any country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs.
5. One to get together with Dick Cheney and figure out how to pay Haliburton Industries $100 million for the new light bulb.
6. One to spearhead an amendment to the US Constitution to prevent gay and lesbian electricians from changing the light bulb.
7. One to arrange a photo op showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in an electrician's uniform.

Left out:
8. one to keep everyone away so it could be done in secret and the records sealed.
9. one to eliminate minimum wage, so they'd pay the replacer only $1.00 and hour.
10. one to do it more efficiently, thereby driving up unemployment.
11. one to send the job overseas.
12. one to stop research on stem filaments, which could lead to the elimination of all burnt out bulbs.
13. one to revoke funding if you even mention aborting the light bulb.

I could go on, but it's time for lunch

[Judy Canty]

My daughter did it in 4 + 1 summer, but then she had a double major (English and Literary and Cultural Studies) and a job (2 years as an RA and 1 year as a Head Resident). She's just finishing up her first internship at Chandler & Udall and getting ready to TA the first year law students. I don't know how she does it.

[mrba]

I had 2 jobs and was a full time student... Yeah it took 5 years.

[mrba]

I had 2 jobs and was a full time student... Yeah it took 5 years.

Who takes 5 years???

People whos mommy and daddy don't help pay bills, at schools where every freshman class is a cut course.

[Jana Lewis]

So, I guess that wouldn't apply to Jenna and Barbara Bush now would it?

[mrba]

So, I guess that wouldn't apply to Jenna and Barbara Bush now would it?

No, they graduated in four years, remember?

[Jana Lewis]

Oh yes.... but it was such a shock to Poppy!

[mrba]

Oh yes.... but it was such a shock to Poppy!

I thought he was making fun of them?

[Pete Hanlin]

I believe that's why it embarrasses them- in other words, W is being humorous at his daughter's expense (as in, "Whattya know, they graduated in just four years... you'd have thought it would take two party girls longer than that"). Anyhow, that's how I read it...

Regarding college, some very intelligent people don't do well in a formal education setting (and, by contrast, some very nice and intelligent people rode/ride on a short bus to school). Personally, I finished H.S. a year early and my B.A. in 3.5 years... doesn't mean I'm brilliant- I just enjoyed my studies (wish I'd have stayed in longer).

Since some "extras" were offered for the Bush joke, I'll offer a few more for Kerry-
7. all the electricity to power the light bulb is produced by solar/wind power
8. Edwards can be the trial lawyer if the bulb breaks and injures the electrician
9. the Kerry daughters can be shown smiling as they relate how well their father has always changed light bulbs in their house while growing up
10. NATO votes to support the changing of the light bulb
and
11. no profit from the purchase of the light bulb goes to any private enterprise

:)

[chm2023]

Bush light bulbs would be dim.

[shanbaum]

Kerry bulbs might be multi-faceted. Or maybe not.

[mrba]

Kerry bulbs might be multi-faceted. Or maybe not.

They blink different colors.

[ikon44]

Ikon.. I thought the queen recently decided to pay taxes. Is she still on the dole? Do all the tourist dollars she brings to London offset the expense?

yes the queen does pay taxes, but the details of her income are very secret,
the rest of the royals get public money.
and yes the goverment always produce this argument about tourist money every
time the royal finances are questioned, personally i have my doubts if it was just
the queen maybe, but there is a whole load of family members who end up with
public money,

still i suppose if we did not have a monarchy we would have president tony blair:D

[mrba]

still i suppose if we did not have a monarchy we would have president tony blair:D

And no tourists?

[ikon44]

I think more people come to see big ben and the houses of parliament than see
the queen.
have you ever been to London?