another one....WalMart greeter
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart .... Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"
The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Do you really think they look alike?"
"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you ever got laid twice!"
Why Fire Engines should be red
This is why fire engines should be red. It's very logical.
1 + 1 is 2
2 + 2 is 4
4 + 4 is 8
8 + 4 is 12
12 inches is a ruler
Queen Mary was a ruler
Queen Mary is a ship
A ship sails the seas
The seas have fish
The fish have fins
The Finns fought the Russians
Russians are Red
Fire engines are always rushin'
Therefore fire engines should be red!
Simple, yes?
priests think they are funny
As told by Father Dave,
Two workers were contracted to paint the church roof. As they were nearing the end of the job they realized they didn't have enough paint. They decided that it was a roof and no one would see it anyway so they thinned the paint and finished the last section. Just as they were finishing up a storm cloud went over the church and washed away the last section of the paint and a booming voice came out of the cloud
"repaint and thin no more!"
Question for St. Paddy's day
Anyone know what a Sweet Potato Queen is?
Chip