I'll start with an old one my dad really enjoyed.
Back in the medieval times there was a serf named Benny. Through no fault of his own, Benny was the lowliest serf in the kingdom. One day Benny was sitting near the gutter, head in hands feeling sorry for himself, when - Poof! Right next to him appeared a Fairy Godmother who told him, "Benny, we have been watching you for a long time. You are a very good person who just has had a lot of awful luck. So I'd like to reward you. I'll give you three wishes - on one condition. You can never again get either a shave or a haircut for the rest of your life."
Benny thought it over for a minute, then decided it was a good deal, so he agreed. Poof! The Fairy Godmother disappeared, reminding him of his oath.
So the first thing Benny wished for was a castle bigger than the King's. Poof! Right beside him appeared a resplendent castle. He then wished for money to fill the treasure vaults. Poof!The castle settled a bit further into the ground with all the weight of the treasure.
So Benny ran into his castle to explore and when he got to the topmost minaret, he spied the King's army getting ready for battle to rid the King of this interloper. So Benny used his last wish for an army big enough to defeat all around. Poof! The army appeared, and the next thing you know, Benny was the new King and ruler.
True to his nature, Benny was a benevolent ruler, and his kingdom prospered like it never had before.
Forty years later, Benny was walking along the street with his attendants behind him carrying his long beard and hair in a wheelbarrow. He passed many people who thanked him for his beneficence and as he passed by a barber shop he looked in to see people getting haircuts and shaves. Benny thinks that since the Fairy Grandmother was so old forty years ago, she must not be around anymore. So he gives up and goes on inside to get his hair cut and his beard shaved. As he was looking at himself in the mirror, admiring his older face he'd never seen, the mirror's surface rippled and the face of the Fairy Godmother appeared, looking ever so sad.
"Benny," She said. "We had such high hopes for you. And you had done SO well over these last forty years too. Now I'm going to have to punish you because you broke your promise." So she waves her magic wand and turned Benny into a magnificently painted six-foot tall decorative urn.
Which goes to prove the moral of the story:
A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
You may groan now.:D
Back in the medieval times there was a serf named Benny. Through no fault of his own, Benny was the lowliest serf in the kingdom. One day Benny was sitting near the gutter, head in hands feeling sorry for himself, when - Poof! Right next to him appeared a Fairy Godmother who told him, "Benny, we have been watching you for a long time. You are a very good person who just has had a lot of awful luck. So I'd like to reward you. I'll give you three wishes - on one condition. You can never again get either a shave or a haircut for the rest of your life."
Benny thought it over for a minute, then decided it was a good deal, so he agreed. Poof! The Fairy Godmother disappeared, reminding him of his oath.
So the first thing Benny wished for was a castle bigger than the King's. Poof! Right beside him appeared a resplendent castle. He then wished for money to fill the treasure vaults. Poof!The castle settled a bit further into the ground with all the weight of the treasure.
So Benny ran into his castle to explore and when he got to the topmost minaret, he spied the King's army getting ready for battle to rid the King of this interloper. So Benny used his last wish for an army big enough to defeat all around. Poof! The army appeared, and the next thing you know, Benny was the new King and ruler.
True to his nature, Benny was a benevolent ruler, and his kingdom prospered like it never had before.
Forty years later, Benny was walking along the street with his attendants behind him carrying his long beard and hair in a wheelbarrow. He passed many people who thanked him for his beneficence and as he passed by a barber shop he looked in to see people getting haircuts and shaves. Benny thinks that since the Fairy Grandmother was so old forty years ago, she must not be around anymore. So he gives up and goes on inside to get his hair cut and his beard shaved. As he was looking at himself in the mirror, admiring his older face he'd never seen, the mirror's surface rippled and the face of the Fairy Godmother appeared, looking ever so sad.
"Benny," She said. "We had such high hopes for you. And you had done SO well over these last forty years too. Now I'm going to have to punish you because you broke your promise." So she waves her magic wand and turned Benny into a magnificently painted six-foot tall decorative urn.
Which goes to prove the moral of the story:
A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
You may groan now.:D
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