not sure how to handle this

[chaoticneutral]

First, forgive me for spilling this onto optiboard but Im absolutely positive that some of you have had to deal whit this and it's my hope you can direct me into an appropriate course of action.
Second, this issue has been drawn out for 6 months now with no resolution but I will keep this VERY brief.

My lab manager and I have the same skill set. I work on her off days in the lab. She will not speak to me directly and hates me for an unknown reason (yes hates). I have asked her directly with no real answers. I have spoken to my assistant manager, my manager and the Dr. that owns the business separately and collectively. I purchased flowers for her and wrote a carefully worded letter saying we could, under her leadership, make a formidable, almost unstoppable team in the lab if we could mend this fence. She responded by telling me never to order another job in the lab on a post-it she left on the monitor. I took a picture.

here's where it becomes interesting.

She was in an accident and has not been into work for 2 months. I have voluntarily worked 6 days a week 10 hours a day to keep the lab running in her absents. I guess im just venting in this post because if I were in her position as a lab manager, and I in some way became disabled, I would ensure that whoever was keeping my seat warm had absolutely everything they needed, every question answered and my full support in any endeavor they had.

I've managed to keep the lab from crashing and burning and (in the most humble way I can say this) it has been the busiest two months in the history of this company according to the GM. (we run 40-60 jobs a day 30-40% needs to be edged) I order everything and check everything in. It's a busy day.

Here is my line in the sand. I will not and have not processed any credits. I have an overflowing box of things that need tending. Should I continue to stand on my line? Ive told management I wont do anything with that until she calls and speaks with me directly. I have not heard from her in 6 weeks. Im trying not to be angry because its a waste of energy. I could use some guidance if you have some to spare.

Thanks for listening.

[Tallboy]

40-60 is a very busy finishing lab

Its good you vent, lest ye might explode.

I would ask your direct superiors about the situation and where your line is currently drawn, and then do what they say line be damned.. No more, no less.

[Paul Smith LDO]

Two months, 6 days a week, and 10 hours a day. If it were me I should bring that to the attention of the, powers that be. I would make it quite clear to them that you have demonstrated an unwavering degree of loyalty and dedication that deserves more than a cold shoulder from your co worker. I would be very sure about the next step that I would take if I were you, as it depends on your skill set and your value to the company, an ultimatum. Show them the the pile that requires an answer from her and ask them if they are prepared to have 2 employees absent from the lab.

[Jubilee]

Myself, I always view it from an ownership perspective. That is money sitting in the box. Money that needs to be tended to in a timely manner or the company loses.

While I would hold out hope that they extend you a courtesy, I would take care of it. I would let the superiors know you are continuing to look after the best interests of the business.

That being said, how is your relationship with management team and owner? You definitely should make sure they are aware of your efforts. They should be aware that she is not willing/able to talk to you. It certainly isn't a desired trait. Perhaps there will be some compensation for your hard work, and an opportunity for a more permanent arrangement.

[rbaker]

An interesting dynamic is at play here. On a long term basis we have two employees each holding the other hostage. Whoever owns this abortion of a business has tolerated some infantile behavior for far too long and should replace you both. A business doesn't need this crap.

No offense - this is just my management style.

[braheem24]

You shouldn't have slept with her.


BTW, I'm serious.
If that's not the case you need a new job and the owner shouldn't have slept with her.
Either way, she has a bargaining chip on someone or you're hiding something and only telling one side of the coin.

[obxeyeguy]

You shouldn't have slept with her.


BTW, I'm serious.
If that's not the case you need a new job and the owner shouldn't have slept with her.
Either way, she has a bargaining chip on someone or you're hiding something and only telling one side of the coin.

I think your right here, something missing. Or, Equal skill sets may just mean she feels threatened, and is insecure in her own ability. Last choice, she's just a b##ch! Move on.

[Johns]

The best way to show management how valuable you are to them is to illustrate how valuable you would be to someone else. Start looking for another job, get an offer, and go back to them.


Oh yeah, OBX is right...why DID you do that!? LOL

[MakeOptics]

Credits need to be completed in a timely fashion to be eligible for credit. Like mentioned that's money on the table, don't ignore it because its not your duty, complete the task because that's how a lab is run. Cutting corners is the quickest way to put yourself in a position to be evaluated as not ready for the next step in your career. Get things done and set an example and maybe your lab manager comes back with a little more respect for what you're capable then you are able to command more respect.

[Judy Canty]

Credits need to be completed in a timely fashion to be eligible for credit. Like mentioned that's money on the table, don't ignore it because its not your duty, complete the task because that's how a lab is run. Cutting corners is the quickest way to put yourself in a position to be evaluated as not ready for the next step in your career. Get things done and set an example and maybe your lab manager comes back with a little more respect for what you're capable then you are able to command more respect.

I agree with this advice.

[chaoticneutral]

Simple words like thank you cannot truly encompass how fortunate I am to have council such as this. A few notes - First, I have not slept with her. I cannot say what happens behind the mangers closed door however. I can only imagine sleeping with her would be like moving a futon. I had it out with my manager. I broke and Im quite surprised that I am still employed to be honest. When I was speaking/yelling at him for a half hour I used precision of language that surprised even me in retrospect. I must have practiced what I was going to say for several months without even realizing. The end result was shocking. I wont bore you with dramatic detail, but in essence I related that I want her to communicate with me directly instead of through him and the very first thing I want out of her mouth is "I understand we have had some difficulties in the past but lets put that behind us and work together moving forward." I even told him how to go about doing that. He should speak with her and say "You have a problem with Eric. This is point A. You need to stop having a problem with Eric. That is point B. I don't care how you get from point A to point B but you need to get there and it needs to happen now." It pains me to spell things out like that. I should not have to do it. None of this should be. He told me why she hates me. None of it is my problem and her issues need to be left at the door. Is this a one sided conversation? Yes. Are there 2 sides to every coin? absolutely. Am I blameless in this? Absolutely not. Communication broke down 6 months ago and was never corrected. She was enabled by management to behave poorly towards me. Here we have the end result. As for the credits that overfloweth, I told him im not going to do them. He said AND I QUOTE "It's ok" I screamed at him NO IT'S NOT OK! There are thousands of dollars sitting in a box instead of your pocket how can that possibly be ok?! IT'S NOT OK!! What a mess.
I just want to do my job and go home at the end of the day.
This is a tale with a moral. Im just not sure what it is.

[newguyaroundhere]

Simple words like thank you cannot truly encompass how fortunate I am to have council such as this. A few notes - First, I have not slept with her. I cannot say what happens behind the mangers closed door however. I can only imagine sleeping with her would be like moving a futon. I had it out with my manager. I broke and Im quite surprised that I am still employed to be honest. When I was speaking/yelling at him for a half hour I used precision of language that surprised even me in retrospect. I must have practiced what I was going to say for several months without even realizing. The end result was shocking. I wont bore you with dramatic detail, but in essence I related that I want her to communicate with me directly instead of through him and the very first thing I want out of her mouth is "I understand we have had some difficulties in the past but lets put that behind us and work together moving forward." I even told him how to go about doing that. He should speak with her and say "You have a problem with Eric. This is point A. You need to stop having a problem with Eric. That is point B. I don't care how you get from point A to point B but you need to get there and it needs to happen now." It pains me to spell things out like that. I should not have to do it. None of this should be. He told me why she hates me. None of it is my problem and her issues need to be left at the door. Is this a one sided conversation? Yes. Are there 2 sides to every coin? absolutely. Am I blameless in this? Absolutely not. Communication broke down 6 months ago and was never corrected. She was enabled by management to behave poorly towards me. Here we have the end result. As for the credits that overfloweth, I told him im not going to do them. He said AND I QUOTE "It's ok" I screamed at him NO IT'S NOT OK! There are thousands of dollars sitting in a box instead of your pocket how can that possibly be ok?! IT'S NOT OK!! What a mess.
I just want to do my job and go home at the end of the day.
This is a tale with a moral. Im just not sure what it is.

Unless you truly feel your job would be threatened because of it, I would just process the credits myself and get it out of the way. As you said, there is thousands of dollars sitting there that could be put back into the practice instead of sitting there wasting away. I would rather be known for doing whatever I could to make a practice more successful than to sit there and waste away opportunity to do so due to what basically boils down to a pissing match with someone. If you do feel doing what is right for the practice could land you in hot water with the bosses, then that speaks more of the people in charge than yourself. In that case, look for another job elsewhere and save yourself further aggravation down the road.

[scriptfiller]

As far as the "credits issue" I'm processing those babies.... money talks.....!

If the Lab Manager is on FMLA leave she cannot work thus cannot "run the show" from the sidelines. Do what you feel is best, YOU are running the show. Keep the owner or your reporting superior aware of what you are doing. When the LM is allowed to return to work step back into your place and let her get things back into the way she wants them. This may be a way to finally break the silence and facilitate communication. Any abusive remarks or behaviors need to be reported immediately.

Make this a line in the sand, your superiors need to recognize that the lack of communication hurts THEIR business. Polish up your resume' and be ready with a quick exit strategy if, after whatever length of time you deem, things aren't resolved.

[Tallboy]

Why does she hate you? Inquiring minds want to know...

BTW lol@moving a futon.
Do the credits.

[jcasowder]

Had one of those issues myself. Line up a game plan for the lab, write it out, and get the management's approval. Make sure they are on board, so if/when she comes back, there are no repercussions. Make it known that you are stepping up and accepting the responsibility for the lab, and that you are doing what is in the best interest of the office and patients. Send back the returns, and make sure you have proof of credit so she can't say they were done wrong, or that you didn't get the office credit. Like you said, there's two sides to each coin. Make sure you let management see your side of the coin when it comes to making things run smoothly. If you can pull any type of report showing the lab's productivity during the time she has been out, let them know that you both could accomplish so much more working together. Call for a meeting with management when she returns. One where you are there with her and the boss. Make them iron things out. She can get called for her behavior (maybe), and you appear to be the one putting forth the effort to make things work out. And that you don't tolerate drama. You are here to do a job, and you want to do it with the least amount of issues possible. Makes the work environment much less stressful for all involved.

If it doesn't resolve, look for employment elsewhere. Sometimes that's the best course. You would know that you have put forth your best effort. If the lab falls apart, and they end up needing you, you have the option of returning. It will give you peace of mind. Sometimes it's just best to leave a toxic environment. I did, and the office manager regretted it later. She admitted as much to the other employees, but would not contact me. She has way too much pride. Upset her when numerous patients got upset that I left, and found me at another location. I NEVER told any of the patients there was an issue, that I found an office where we feel like family, and that's important to me.

[Johns]

I sleep with the boss.

She's very unfutonish.

[chaoticneutral]

Why does she hate you? Inquiring minds want to know...

BTW lol@moving a futon.
Do the credits.

According to the GM it's because everything I do is wrong...and Im a guy. So ...... yeah.....wow.

[chaoticneutral]

I sleep with the boss.

She's very unfutonish.

Attaboy!

So, i took the day and processed all the credits. Put it in a spreadsheet and realized I was holding 3k + hostage over this. I would have fired me. It's done and unfortunately I have the feeling nothing will change. I did polish up my resume =) The GM wants to "wait and see" what happens when she comes back.

[AngeHamm]

Attaboy!

So, i took the day and processed all the credits. Put it in a spreadsheet and realized I was holding 3k + hostage over this. I would have fired me. It's done and unfortunately I have the feeling nothing will change. I did polish up my resume =) The GM wants to "wait and see" what happens when she comes back.

Good work.

[Mizikal]

I went through this at my old job. That is why it is my old job. I had a coworkier go through phases of talking to me then not talking to me. Sometimes she would even not talk to other coworkers. She did this to the manager once and got yelled at. Not in trouble no repercussions just yelled at. I decided since management didn't have a problem with her childish ways they could have her. I have not been happier. Save yourself the abuse and find another job or do your job and run the credits so you can be blamless.

[iD]

so what happens if we sleep with our boss on a futon? *mind blown*

[Dirk]

Please go and find a better place to work, preferably the nearest competitor.

[MakeOptics]

Attaboy!

So, i took the day and processed all the credits. Put it in a spreadsheet and realized I was holding 3k + hostage over this. I would have fired me. It's done and unfortunately I have the feeling nothing will change. I did polish up my resume =) The GM wants to "wait and see" what happens when she comes back.

This may not help your situation but I'm proud of you.

[merrymaker]

This may not help your situation but I'm proud of you.

Yup, good work. Kill'em with kindness

[gsmahesh]

Credits need to be completed in a timely fashion to be eligible for credit. Like mentioned that's money on the table, don't ignore it because its not your duty, complete the task because that's how a lab is run. Cutting corners is the quickest way to put yourself in a position to be evaluated as not ready for the next step in your career. Get things done and set an example and maybe your lab manager comes back with a little more respect for what you're capable then you are able to command more respect.

I totally agree with your advise. This is how the situation should dealt.