The funniest OptiBoard Post.....back from 8 years ........................

[Chris Ryser]

I saved it for a good laugh, it was eight years ago. Still miss him whoever he was.

November 1, 2008

AM

Borysko

Troubled Shootings on a Progressives

---

Hello. Please apologize to my long absence. Greedy American cable company take away my internets because I cannot make a pay. Now, I have to use computer inside a local librarian. But I am no here to make a cry on you like Belarus man after many vodka and horse fluid cocktails. I here to help. A nice optiboard men suggest on me, "Borysko, tell us how to make a troubled shootings on a progressives." So I will paint some scenarios on you and you can please put them inside you.

Troubled Shootings on a Progressives
1. Patient say, "The floor looks a tilted." This easy to fix. I tell them, "Yes, my stupid boss Sergei put in flooring. It is tilted."

2. Patient can see up close but not far away. Also easy. I say them to stand closer to things they wish to look on.

3. Patient ask why their progressive lens has a line. I tell them, many cheap progressives do not even include a line. Borysko give you 28mm segment for same price as no-line progressive.

Number after 3. Patient bring note from their doctor of optometric. He say seg height incorrect. I call this doctor late at night and talk on him about parlor game I learn in Ukrainian prison. Doctor change mind, seg height is perfect.

5. Patient say it feel like eyes being pulled out to sides. Sergei appear with pliers, he offer to show what eyes being pulled feel like. Patient say problem has gone away.

Ptitsa krovny! My computer time is up. They only give Borysko one hour, and for much of hour I look on naughty pictures of Minsk Goat-Milking Festival. Very nice.

I will make a try to help on you again as soon as impossible. Please again apologize to my poor english. Thank you please.

[revein]

Thanks for the laugh! :)

[HindSight2020]

I saved it for a good laugh, it was eight years ago. Still miss him whoever he was.

November 1, 2008

AM

Borysko

Troubled Shootings on a Progressives

---

Hello. Please apologize to my long absence. Greedy American cable company take away my internets because I cannot make a pay. Now, I have to use computer inside a local librarian. But I am no here to make a cry on you like Belarus man after many vodka and horse fluid cocktails. I here to help. A nice optiboard men suggest on me, "Borysko, tell us how to make a troubled shootings on a progressives." So I will paint some scenarios on you and you can please put them inside you.

Troubled Shootings on a Progressives
1. Patient say, "The floor looks a tilted." This easy to fix. I tell them, "Yes, my stupid boss Sergei put in flooring. It is tilted."

2. Patient can see up close but not far away. Also easy. I say them to stand closer to things they wish to look on.

3. Patient ask why their progressive lens has a line. I tell them, many cheap progressives do not even include a line. Borysko give you 28mm segment for same price as no-line progressive.

Number after 3. Patient bring note from their doctor of optometric. He say seg height incorrect. I call this doctor late at night and talk on him about parlor game I learn in Ukrainian prison. Doctor change mind, seg height is perfect.

5. Patient say it feel like eyes being pulled out to sides. Sergei appear with pliers, he offer to show what eyes being pulled feel like. Patient say problem has gone away.

Ptitsa krovny! My computer time is up. They only give Borysko one hour, and for much of hour I look on naughty pictures of Minsk Goat-Milking Festival. Very nice.

I will make a try to help on you again as soon as impossible. Please again apologize to my poor english. Thank you please.

Opti-Borat. Great material.

[Mick]

How funny!

[bob_f_aboc]

I miss Borysko.

[scriptfiller]

I loved those.... good stuff!

[golfnut]

Lmao! Great stuff!

[Chris Ryser]

.....and here is his last post as I believe

__________________________

09-10-2008, 10:13 PM

Borysko
OptiBoard Novice
Occupation: Dispensing Optician

In Ukraine, optician refract. Many America optician wish to refract. But optician afraid of refract for these excuse:

They say "I can no refract, is against laws." Do not worry. America laws have little punishments. In America, police cannot even rape you without cause. In Ukraine we say man afraid of laws take no moneys breaking laws.
Optician also say "I do not know how to make a refract on a patients." Is okay, Borysko tell you how. That why this post.

Borysko Tell How to Make a Refract

1. Pretend You a Doctor...I tell patient wait in examinations chamber, doctor be coming. I put on doctor coats and pretend mustache I make from hair of my loins.

2. Make a Confidence on Patient...I tell patient "hello I am real doctor with many colleges. You no worry, I will not drug you and touch your venereals."

3. Look in Eye for Disease...I use doctor tool call "slut lamp" and look in eye. If there is pupil eye is good. If no pupil I give a reference to ophthalmologist who live in R.V. down street from me.
Number after three. Pretend Take K Measures...Is no good to take measure because no profit on contract lenses. Pretend measure and tell patient "You can no wear contract lens because your eye no shape like a spherical. Your eye shape like clenched fist of monkey."

5. Put Patient Head on Phoropter...Tell patient make look on your eye chart. Any eye chart okay. I use Serbian pornographics pictures for eye chart.
6. Make a Dial Flip...Start with -7.00 then flip dial to +5.00. Ask "which better this (-7.00) or this (+5.00)." If both no good patient Rx is -2.00 -0.50 x 170.

7. Continue Refract...Flip dials very fast and keep ask which better. When you tired of dial flip you have sphericals Rx.

8. Cylindricals...When you have sphericals is now time for check of cylindricals. Use Andrew Jackson Cross Cylinder. Make red dot and white dot on top. Change axis until patient sight blurry and can no more see. Then pick axis you like. I like 70, is nice!

9. Check Presbyterians...Look at patient. If old like hot vice-premiere woman Sarah Palin, they a +1.00 add. If old like John McCain they a +3.00.

10. Visual Feels Testings...Take cigarette you have been smoking during exam and bring to eye of patient from side. If patient block you before you burn eye, they have a good peripherals.

Now you may see is easy make a refract. A doctor only charge you much wages and look on internet when no patients. Is better you make a refract yourself and take much moneys.

I always say I sorry for being of Ukraine and please apologize to my mistakes of your bad language.

[SharonB]

.....and here is his last post as I believe

__________________________

09-10-2008, 10:13 PM

Borysko
OptiBoard Novice
Occupation: Dispensing Optician

In Ukraine, optician refract. Many America optician wish to refract. But optician afraid of refract for these excuse:

They say "I can no refract, is against laws." Do not worry. America laws have little punishments. In America, police cannot even rape you without cause. In Ukraine we say man afraid of laws take no moneys breaking laws.
Optician also say "I do not know how to make a refract on a patients." Is okay, Borysko tell you how. That why this post.

Borysko Tell How to Make a Refract

1. Pretend You a Doctor...I tell patient wait in examinations chamber, doctor be coming. I put on doctor coats and pretend mustache I make from hair of my loins.

2. Make a Confidence on Patient...I tell patient "hello I am real doctor with many colleges. You no worry, I will not drug you and touch your venereals."

3. Look in Eye for Disease...I use doctor tool call "slut lamp" and look in eye. If there is pupil eye is good. If no pupil I give a reference to ophthalmologist who live in R.V. down street from me.
Number after three. Pretend Take K Measures...Is no good to take measure because no profit on contract lenses. Pretend measure and tell patient "You can no wear contract lens because your eye no shape like a spherical. Your eye shape like clenched fist of monkey."

5. Put Patient Head on Phoropter...Tell patient make look on your eye chart. Any eye chart okay. I use Serbian pornographics pictures for eye chart.
6. Make a Dial Flip...Start with -7.00 then flip dial to +5.00. Ask "which better this (-7.00) or this (+5.00)." If both no good patient Rx is -2.00 -0.50 x 170.

7. Continue Refract...Flip dials very fast and keep ask which better. When you tired of dial flip you have sphericals Rx.

8. Cylindricals...When you have sphericals is now time for check of cylindricals. Use Andrew Jackson Cross Cylinder. Make red dot and white dot on top. Change axis until patient sight blurry and can no more see. Then pick axis you like. I like 70, is nice!

9. Check Presbyterians...Look at patient. If old like hot vice-premiere woman Sarah Palin, they a +1.00 add. If old like John McCain they a +3.00.

10. Visual Feels Testings...Take cigarette you have been smoking during exam and bring to eye of patient from side. If patient block you before you burn eye, they have a good peripherals.

Now you may see is easy make a refract. A doctor only charge you much wages and look on internet when no patients. Is better you make a refract yourself and take much moneys.

I always say I sorry for being of Ukraine and please apologize to my mistakes of your bad language.

I so loved these posts, even if not "politically correct." I guess he was banned for not being "PC." And - I do know who the poster was, but I'll never tell! For those who complained to the point that he was banned - Humor is almost always at someones expense. It was never intended to malign Russian ECPs, although it did portray them in a humorous manner. Is this any worse than us talking about "Bat***t things patients say?' Lighten up! Thanks Chris for giving us a good laugh, and to introducing Borysko to new Optiboarders!

[Steve Machol]

I so loved these posts, even if not "politically correct." I guess he was banned for not being "PC."

Say what? What exactly is your 'guess' based on? He was never banned and his account is still active. He was even checking his account two years after his last post.

http://www.optiboard.com/forums/memb.../18198-Borysko

[Caroline]

hair of my loins.

Ha! That's the best!

Sharon, if you know who it is, tell him he needs to start posting again. This stuff's hysterical!

[cianblue]

Thanks for the laugh.

[Chris Ryser]

This was also a popular optical site that disappeared in 2011 ..........

Eulogy

Lens Chic- R.I.P.

Written by Cathy on February 8, 2011 – 4:44 pm -
Most have already heard that Eye Overheard posted their last post. I wish to write her eulogy as I believe that many will miss her, her wit, her humor and her ability to think out of the box and especially the images!
We the optigirls started out about the same time in this industry, where no-one was blogging or even knew what a blog was. We communicated back and forth, put each other on our blog rolls and slogged through the morass of Social Media, fed each other stories. She had the brazenness to speak out, to make fun


Read all of it: ----------------------> http://theopticalvisionsite.com/eye-news/lens-chic-r-i-p/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A +TheOpticalVisionSite+%28The+Optical+Vision+Site%29&utm_cont ent=Yahoo%21+Mail


--------------------------------------

This is the last post you will ever read!

31 Jan 2011 33 Comments bysweyeper in Uncategorized


http://eyeoverheard.com/ Not active anymore


Yes it’s true. This will be the last new post on EyeOverheard!

First let me say thank you to EVERYONE who supported, hated, screamed and laughed at us and with us over the last 3 years!! It has been one hell of a ride. Something that started out so tiny, grew to eclipse all of the trade company websites for hits. We are the only site who had the @#$% to say what others think.


The reasons the blog will stop are quite inconsequential!


Allow me to take a moment to recap the last 3 years


Our first post (now removed) told the world that all Pearle Visions were going to be corporate Luxottica- I think 3 people read the story, and all said bull****! Guess what, we were right.


Our first big story was that Essilor was buying Signet Armorlite. We broke this in September 2008, and everyone said we were crazy! Little did they know, we knew!! After months and months of both Essilor and Signet denying the deal, it finally came out. If you could have heard the things we knew. Things said at both of their national sales meetings. Things said behind closed doors. We didn’t want to name names, so we just let the story unfold.


We talked about how Essilor discovered the internet, and many of you got a BIG laugh!


We told you all FIRST that Essilor would buy Shamir. Again the denials…


LensChic and her cartoons! By far the most popular author, her stories always the most popular. the video’s she made, copied by others, but none better than hers! Did you know they played the Typical Essilor sales call at the VSP national sales meeting?
We told you VSP would go into Costco..they did
We told you Trufocals suck…and they do


We told you Pixel sucked and won’t succeed, and they won’t!
The DIY home LASIK kit! One of our favorite pictures
Remember Dr. Michelle at UrbanOptiques? Great place, GREAT doctor..to bad she got in bed with VSP (we still love you)
Vision Source to be Essilor soon..we still say yes


We discussed Lenscrafters MBE, and exposed it for the joke it was.
Remember when Al Cleinman got hit by a car? Rumors were it was driven by a VSP employee. Man that picture was hilarious!!
Let’s be honest, people loved our images, and we loved posting them!!


We told you that both Essilor and VSP were going online to consumers, and they have.


Do it yourself eyeglass kiosks
Dictator specs, “QotD”, *** in Glasses…all fun repeating stories!
Modo sells ECO to Walmart…stupid move Modo


We enjoyed the Eyevote winners, even though they are the same every year.


Let us tell you what still will happen.


Essilor will own their own retail stores. VSP will continue to allow their “insurance” to be used in more and more chains, Lenscrafters is coming. Essilor will kill Definity PAL’s and release a new FreeFrom PAL using Shamir technology. Sheep will eat it up! Hoya may be the only company with balls, and they are silently becoming a totally free form lens company. Zeiss will continue to have money issues and possibly be bought by VSP. Last, Luxotica and Essilor will form a partnership that will blow you all away!


Thanks Squeak Cat, Jimmy daddy ,Barry and the others who really cared.


Never stop believing and ABE!


Thanks for reading, and in the immortal words of Monty Python..**** OFF!.............................

[mdeimler]

Luxotica and Essilor will form a partnership that will blow you all away!

This is the one I'm waiting to see. Like a McDonald's, Burger King and Wendy's collaboration.

[Judy Canty]

Luxotica and Essilor will form a partnership that will blow you all away!

This is the one I'm waiting to see. Like a McDonald's, Burger King and Wendy's collaboration.

Does EyeMed steering it's lab business to Essilor-owned labs count? It should.

[mdeimler]

Does EyeMed steering it's lab business to Essilor-owned labs count? It should.

I haven't known about this until now, but yes indeed it does count.

[ziggy]

Does EyeMed steering it's lab business to Essilor-owned labs count? It should.

of course it counts!