Restaurant Review
by Hayde
*
As is often the case, desperation to solve some long-forgotten quandary was my motive to dine out into the internet. My cabbie Google suggested a subdued green-and-gray joint on the shabby side of town (not far from the river where a van has reputedly been abandoned and re-occupied by the equity-challenged: )
'Optiboard--the Premier Online Community for Eyecare Professionals'
I arrived to the establishment bringing my appetite for optical industry cuisine. I searched the bar shelves of threads high and low, usually striking out on frame info, but an overwhelming array of lens information and opinion! A nice novelty on occasion… Lurking in the Lurker Lounge became a habit for years. (Having had those years enjoying the luxury of experienced coworkers and doctors I could pester with questions—I didn’t need the board often enough to trouble the wait staff.)
Even from the Lurker Lounge one could immediately see this wasn’t a terribly refined dining experience…more like a steakhouse where peanut shells are littered shamelessly across the uncarpeted cement from the kitchen to underneath the chairs and tables. Discourse was sharp and boisterous—oddly so when service practioners are in full view of their paying clientele! Yet an entire wall panel has been proudly devoted to opticians laughing at the stupid questions of customers.
Even still, by far most of the snark filling the air is squarely devoted to fellow patrons—alas, we can’t help one-upping one another and talking smack with colleagues whether behind the lab door or in front of the world. (We are a strange breed, aren’t we?) Not for delicate sensibilities, indeed!
When one lingers on Optiboard enough, one also notices beyond the random and chaotic fray, factions are carved out in the corners of the boisterous dining hall—who vigilantly watch for opportunities to sing song lyrics and chants of their cherished codices in hopes of steering the entire dining hall into enlightenment. One of which is the Rebel Alliance—fomenting insurrection against the Empire (reputedly building a deadly space station that looks like a giant E.)
Ostensibly neutral to the first, the other faction is a maudlin cult of purists decrying the decay and loss of sacred teachings, arts, and texts—like ancient Chinese scholars whose hearts are in anguish seeing disciples ignorantly mangling the finer consciousness of philosophy--or Indian gurus witnessing the chaotic Kaliyuga debase the ways of the world—or the Semetic holy men watching the wisdom of old watered down and *******ized for popular digestion of heathens on a barbarian continent. They bear painful witness to the loss of their craft (commensurate to the decline of ROI of college degrees.)
Indeed, the Optiboard is not a hang-out for the faint of heart! Whether partisan cause or lonley crusade, many patrons arrive to the roadhouse to drink and work off some steam in passionate ideological brawls! I do imagine the broken windows have put off many a prospective diner as it almost did me.
But then came a day when I no longer had doctors or coworkers in the next office, and the ones available I have to be judicious with how frequently I pester them for shop talk! Uh oh…the familiar appetite of desperation found me again.
Got my new office up and running, and went up to the greeter for a table. It was a short wait and the mods and proprietor greeted me quickly and pleasantly! And when I dared stick my neck out for help, true knights swoop in to give a growing colleague a hand, without hubris or any discernable selfish motive at all—and I savor food for thought in the days and weeks afterwards. Reps with educational marketing frequently come by my table to sample their wares. Even some CE credits are handed out every now and then! On any question, some soothing rigor will soon find its way into even in the silliest debate.
Everything I admire about the profession is alive and well at Optiboard. I find myself inspired to pay it forward when I can. (…and I gritch like any other old farmer in the wee hours of the morning over coffee at the Dairy Queen.)
Can safely admit to myself I’m a regular.
***
Optiboard: 3.826 (out of 5) stars!
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Originally Posted by SeaU2020
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