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Thread: FezzJohns up to something??

  1. #1
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    FezzJohns up to something??

    FezzJohns up to something?


    I was at VEW over the weekend, and heard from one of the reps that the first guy that came into their booth on Thursday bought up every closeout they had. I later heard a buyer mention that he had an appointment on Friday with a different vendor to buy closeouts, but that when he got there, they told him that someone had been in on Thursday and bought up every closeout they had, except for a few kid's frames. The guy that they described sounded like someone I know, but I couldn't be sure.

    The,at the Marchon party on Friday, I ran into none other than Johns! He had about 50 wristbands that he was handing out to anyone that looked like they needed one. In fact, he had more wrtistbands than the Marchon reps had. (Contrary to how he used to write on OB, I think Johns is a teetotaler) If you didn't know better, you'd have thought that he had thrown the party. Some of his staff was there, and one of them confirmed that he and "some guy from Pennsylvania ", had been meeting and talking about some new frame distribution concept, and that Johns had purchased more than 15,000 frames from one company alone. She was pretty tipsy, so I don't know how much to believe, but it does fit in with the rest of what I'd been hearing.

    To top it off, when I asked Johns if he wanted to get together for lunch on Saturday, he said he'd be "long gone". One of the girls that was with him (I guess he brought around 10 staff members to Vegas) said that she had booked the flight and the hotels, and that Johns was not returning home, but to Pennsylvania for more "meetings". I tried to find out exactly what was going on, but she just said, "He doesn't tell us anything". When I asked Johns what his plans were, he just smiled and said that he was having the time of his life, and that he was working on "leveling the playing field for opticians". Yeah, he was pretty vague about what is going on, but it sure is intriguing.

    Did anyone else run into Johns at VEW? Also, did anyone see Fezz there, or better yet, did anyone see them together? I know they've been off of OB for awhile, and Johns had mentioned last year that he was up to something, but I was wondering if anyone else had heard/seen anything? I can't speak for other offices, but I know that we could really use some of the product that FezzJohns used to sell. I'm hoping that if they are up to something, they do it really big this time.

  2. #2
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Gold Supporter Judy Canty's Avatar
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    FezzJohns is always up to something.

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    Master OptiBoarder optical24/7's Avatar
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    I'm sad to report this to you obx, but Fezz couldn't be in Vegas. He's given up on the optical business. I was in the Bahamas this summer staying at Paradise Island. By chance I ran into Fezz outside the casino of the Atlantis. He was down at the docks with a small dinghy boat. At first I didn't reconize him (his appearance was more scraggly than usual...)

    He greeted me with a Dos Equis in his hand. (He still has that cheepskate mentality too, instead of a Dos Equis, he offered me a Busch Beer..) After some back slapping and reminiscing he offer to take me to his place on Nassau. He's got a place right on the beach, though spartan (really just a tin shack under some banana trees) he said it was comfy enough for him. He's got a pet iguana named "Ralph" he keeps tied to a coconut tree and a parrot that cusses in portuguese. ( He gets a kick out of asking it what it thinks about the bahamian police!)

    I asked him how he's making a living down there. He said he's diving for conch shells by day, entertaining tourist by night. Unknown to me, he's quite a good ukulele player. I joined him that night down on PompaPompa St. You should have seen him in his hawaiian shirt and tattered straw hat, going to town on that tiny uke. He was smokin' through numbers like " Girl from Impanema", "Day Oh" and his killer impersonation of Tiny Tim doing "Tiptoe through the Tulips". After his show was over he started to count the money in his tip jar....$5.32, it was a good night he said...

    As we headed back to Paradise Island on his dinghy, we shared one last beer...Him and his Dos Equis, me and my Busch. We agreed to get together again, but I never saw him. A local told me that they thought he was making a cigar run to Havana, I guess I'll never know. But I do miss my friend, the man, the myth, the legend...Fezz..
    Last edited by optical24/7; 09-29-2011 at 12:10 PM.

  4. #4
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    Fezz is lurking on OB and may even respond, but I doubt it.

    I hope they call me to let me in on the deal; I am nowhere near them.

    I will cut and paste in an email to them so they know they are still in our hearts and minds.
    Last edited by Craig; 09-29-2011 at 11:44 AM.

  5. #5
    Master OptiBoarder Striderswife's Avatar
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    I would love to hear what comes of this!!
    It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

  6. #6
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Gold Supporter DragonLensmanWV's Avatar
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    Man, Fezzo really gets around! I saw him a few weeks ago in St. Tropez. He was riding a wave in the wake of an old sedan. You would have thought he was a native French speaker, as well as he spoke French. Amazingly, Dos Equis is pronounced exactly the same in French as it is in English, so he was OK there. He was teaching Seamus, his old hound, how to bark in French.
    DragonlensmanWV N.A.O.L.
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    I, for one. don't believe either of you saw Fezz like you say. You were sucked in by the many doubles he has scattered around the globe to confuse you. Hitmen and papparazi can be such a pain, as can optical groupies.

  8. #8
    Eyes eastward... Uilleann's Avatar
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    Now that you mention it...

    I didn't think that was Fezz at my wedding - his movements were too stiff and mechanical. Now my suspicions are confirmed - it was a fembot with machine gun jubblies in Fezz's clothing! :)

    I KNEW IT!

  9. #9
    Independent Owner kcount's Avatar
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    The Truth about Fezz

    You guys have been suckerd in! I spoke to John just a day or so ago.

    He was a broken man, I had never heard him like this in fact I was almost moved to tears but my mannly heart would not allow it. You see, John was crushed, his plan of world domination had failed with the ending of his dear friend Fezz. Seem's part of your stories was correct he was in a small dinghy and headed out for a cigar run to cuba, that man loved his havanna's this can not be denied. Saddly this time our dear hero Fezz had bit off more than he could chew. As I was told between sobs it seems Fezz did in fact make it to Cuba! He even made it all the way to the finest cigar maker in all of Cuba. This of course being quite a feat as Fezz only new enough spanish to get himself into a nasty bar fight. Thankfully a young lass saw something peaceful in his fuzzy Fezz face and took him under her guide. Unknown to Fezz this young lady had connections all the way to the top. Yes dear readers this lass was a niece of Fidel himself. Well, let me say Fezz always had a bit of a concern with holding his tongue. Seems years of toasting had worn down the mind mouth block. Yep, Fezz would thinkin it almost as he was saying it. this time Fezz looked down at the cigar maker and saw his rolling technique. Fezz being the aficianado was amazed and in his broken Spanish declared his amazement. The only concern ws that what Fezz had actually somehow compared the heritage of the cigar roller to that of a one legged goat in the himilaya's. I want to say, I'm not even sure how you could string together the words to mess up this bad in spanish but Fezz was a master in many things, Spanish not being one of them. In the end the insult got all the way to Fidel who immediatey arrested Fezz. Last anyone saw of the poor man he was headed to South America to Argentina under armed cuban escort. Not sure what he must of said to Fidel but probably wasn't good.

    I'm confident we'll all see Fezz again one day and roll in laughter at the stories he will tell... until then we'll always have the happy cheers smilies to remember hime by. Oh crap.. where the heck did the smilies go?!

    ;cheers;cheers;cheers;

    (Thats a poor substitute)
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  10. #10
    ABOM Wes's Avatar
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    I thought fezz had a shave and a sex change and was posing as my dos equis swilling ladyfriend!?!? Lies!
    Wesley S. Scott, MBA, MIS, ABOM, NCLE-AC, LDO - SC & GA

    “As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.” -Albert Einstein

  11. #11
    opti-tipster harry a saake's Avatar
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    luck

    Sounds like my luck, went fishing down in the keys last week, i caught a cuban

  12. #12
    Bad address email on file rickyforever's Avatar
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    hey,you know that,FezzJohns often up to something

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    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Gold Supporter DragonLensmanWV's Avatar
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    I heard Fezz is registered to run the Boston Marathon. He's going to run it backwards so he can see what second place looks like.
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  14. #14
    Compulsive Truthteller OptiBoard Gold Supporter Uncle Fester's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DragonLensmanWV View Post
    I heard Fezz is registered to run the Boston Marathon. He's going to run it backwards so he can see what second place looks like.
    Look for the leather fringed running outfit with a bowie knife strapped to his waist.

  15. #15
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter
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    I thought I read about Fezz booking a space on a Russian space flight. The cost was pocket change to him: $20,000,000 US.

  16. #16
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    THE RUMORS OF FEZZ SIGHTINGS ARE MOSTLY TRUE!

    There are big things in the works with FezzJohns. I can't legally or contractually discuss............YET!

    OBX, PM sent!

  17. #17
    Master OptiBoarder optical24/7's Avatar
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    How's Ralph?

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    How's Elvis?

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    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter rdcoach5's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fezz View Post
    THE RUMORS OF FEZZ SIGHTINGS ARE MOSTLY TRUE!


    There are big things in the works with FezzJohns. I can't legally or contractually discuss............YET!

    OBX, PM sent!
    It's about time you're back ! 3 CHEERS

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by rdcoach5 View Post
    It's about time you're back ! 3 CHEERS
    +1,2,&3!! Fezz, you were one of the reasons I started reading Optiboard! One of my bosses told me about your postings, and I found them to be among the most entertaining, yet informative. I was bumming when I saw you weren't posting that much.

    Let us know when you've got some news!

    Welcome back!!!

  21. #21
    lens-o-matic bhess25's Avatar
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    wow i have a 10 minute phone convo with johns and let him know about this thread and fezz comes out of the woodwork...should we be thanking johns for the fezz popping in?
    equal opportunity offender!!

  22. #22
    ABOM Wes's Avatar
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    Fezz is always lurking.
    Wesley S. Scott, MBA, MIS, ABOM, NCLE-AC, LDO - SC & GA

    “As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.” -Albert Einstein

  23. #23
    Independent Owner kcount's Avatar
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    I just want to know how he got away from the Argentinian prison guards.
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  24. #24
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    They are going to open up their own Message Board.

  25. #25
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    All pm's replied to, and thanks for all the info. I finally decided to go right to the horse's mouth, and called Johns this morning. He didn't really want to elaborate much, but he did agree to sell me a sampler (30 frames) of what he purchased in Vegas, for a very good price also. I'll let you know what I think in about a week, but I trust they will move fast as they always have in the past.

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