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Thread: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

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    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Gold Supporter CuriousCat's Avatar
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    Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

    Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

    As you study for exams, remember its not the quantity it's the quantity. And remember there is no substitute for pure unadulterated bull
    Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
    "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:
    1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
    2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
    So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."
    The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
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    Compulsive Truthteller OptiBoard Gold Supporter Uncle Fester's Avatar
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    Hell is cold according to Milton...

    Only Dante's 7th circle is hot.:angry:

    The 9th or final circle where Satan resides is cold.

    http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-i...formation.html
    Last edited by Uncle Fester; 09-03-2010 at 12:13 PM.

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    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Gold Supporter DragonLensmanWV's Avatar
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    And a couple of good Larry Niven books.
    DragonlensmanWV N.A.O.L.
    "There is nothing patriotic about hating your government or pretending you can hate your government but love your country."

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    opti-tipster harry a saake's Avatar
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    hell

    the real question is, who,s going there, and then returning to prove or disprove some, totally irrevelant hypothesis

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    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Gold Supporter rbaker's Avatar
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    The question posed, "is hell exothermic or endothermic?" predates 1997. It was posed to us at Dartmouth College in 1959 and was an urban legend way back then. I think the origin may go back to Thomas Aquinas, at least it sounds like something that he would have written on.
    Last edited by rbaker; 09-04-2010 at 07:25 PM.

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    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Gold Supporter CuriousCat's Avatar
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    Geeze...I just thought it was funny.
    Proud OptiBoarder since 1995!

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    Working on the MBA OptiBoard Gold Supporter Wes's Avatar
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    Ive heard it before, with different names, but I've always thought it was hilarious.
    Ophthalmic Optician, Society to Advance Opticianry
    B.S., ABOM, NCLE-AC, SC Licensed Optician

    We will either find a way, or make one.
    - Hannibal


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