On a different level...

**Darris Chambless** · 03-06-2002, 05:18 PM

Psychics,

Has anyone seen these "pet psychics" on Animal Planet? People who honestly believe that they can read a pets mind and tell the owner what it's thinking. Give me a break! I want someone to pay for me to get a show where I can exploit stupid people by making them believe me. I think I could make a lot of money doing it too :)

"Well, Mrs Smith. Matiess thinks you look fat in those pants...Wait I'm getting another signal. Yes, Matiess also thinks you're an idiot and that you should stop sleeping with the mailman. Oops my mistake...mail woman."

"Mrs Jones, your parot Tommy is sending me a signal....mmmmmm....okay...yeah...I got it now. Yeah, Tommy is telling me...that his cage needs to be changed and that he is tired of living in this swill. He says these conditions are entirely too much for him to have to deal with and that if something isn't done pronto he will call the ASPCA. I can't believe that you of all people would treat your own bird like this. You disgust me you foul pig."

Yup, I can see the cash rolling in now. Fools and their money are soon parted :)

A pet psychic! What will they think of next? :)

Darris C.

**Sean** · 03-06-2002, 06:25 PM

I happend to see part of one ........once! And now that i think of it i was surfing the channels at the time.I watched for maybe 5min top's......it was pathetic.I for one like animal planet and find most of their programming to be really educational and informing.But to me it rated right up there with the paid tv commercials that you would see for oxi clean,Or should i say the psychic hot line.AP does not need that kind of ****.Wish i could spend more time on this..........but my dog is scratching at the door.Got to go and get me one of them psychic's to see what he want's.

**Night Train** · 03-06-2002, 09:22 PM

Reminds me of a song where "pet phsychiatry" is mentioned:

GREAT BIG STUPID WORLD

Written by R. Stonehill and T. Taylor

Well we worship at the shroud of Elvis
And we're waiting for that money from Ed McMahon
And we're drinking from the Perrier fountain of youth
While we follow what the daily horoscopes saying
Taking lethal doses of MTV
Delving into pet psychiatry
Trying to treat cancer with a fruit juice cure
And waiting for the Beatles reunion tour

'Cuz it's a great big stupid world
And we're feeling kinda queasy as it turns around
Great big stupid world
And we're never really sure if we're up or down
We're on a dirt clod out in space
Where it stops nobody knows
If Jesus came back today
They'd try to book him on the Oprah Winfrey show
'Cuz it's a great big stupid world
Great big stupid world

Well we're hot on the trail of Big Foot
And we're wearing the crystals to feel the power
We're hoping that the creatures from outer space
Come to set us free in that final hour
Trying to tell the future from the lumps on our heads
Getting melanoma from our tanning beds
Channeling Houdini with Shirley MacLaine
And trying to figure out what the dolphins are saying

CHORUS

Well it's a Great-Big-Stupid world
Dumb dumb da dumb dumb baby it's a stupid world
It's a great big stupid, great big stupid
Great big stupid world

Well we're studying the National Enquirer
Is it true Sonny Bono is the Anti-Christ
We debate if TV wrestling is really a sport
While we're testing rock 'n' roll and it's effect on mice
Bonding with our little computer screens
Getting anorexic on our Lean Cuisines
Turning plastic surgeons into millionaires
So everybody finally gets to look like Cher

It's a great big stupid world
And we're feeling kind of queasy as it turns around
Great big stupid world
And we're never really sure if we're up or down
It's a great... big... stupid world
Dumb dumb da dumb dumb baby it's a stupid world
On and On and On

© 1992 Stonehillian
Music/Word Music (a div. of Word, Inc.) Twitchin' Vibes Music ASCAP

**Cindy Hamlin** · 03-06-2002, 09:55 PM

Darris,
I guess on the next Miss Cleo commercial there will be lots of panting and purring, huh?

**LaurieC** · 03-07-2002, 09:57 AM

...the pet psychic what this one was thinking and it was: "just get me my cigarettes and a martini, then get out of my face"!:finger:

**LaurieC** · 03-07-2002, 10:28 AM

Who said:"see how I have them wrapped around my little finger, er paw?":D

**Cindy Hamlin** · 03-07-2002, 10:29 AM

That's a cat (the martini and cigarette) you should make sure you keep one eye opened for!

**Darris Chambless** · 03-07-2002, 01:09 PM

Oh my God Laurie!!!

Ever thought of taking those cats off of steroids? Perhaps a diet is in order too. "Pet psychiatry" what a load of hoohah! :) How stupid does a person truly have to be to think for a moment that any human can psychoanalyze an animal? I'm sure that when asked "And how does that make you feel?" the animals in question perk right up and answer in English as clear as a bell to the psych. If that were to actually happen I believe it would be the psych that would need therapy.

Stupid people amaze me. I often wonder how these people made it this far in life? Actually I look around and can answer my own question unfortunately :) "Our motto is 'Stupid people enabling stupid people because we don't know any better'."

TTFN,

Darris C.

**LaurieC** · 03-07-2002, 05:47 PM

Darris Chambless said:
Oh my God Laurie!!!

Ever thought of taking those cats off of steroids? Perhaps a diet is in order too.
TTFN,

Darris C.

It's not the steroids, it's the wine. To wit: their names are Cuvee Brut and Petite Syrah. Would we expect anything different from BacchusJim and I, probably not.

I'm sure that when asked "And how does that make you feel?"

If asked this, Syrah, the white with blue points one would just whallop the pet psychiatrist one

"Pet psychiatry" what a load of hoohah! :) Our motto is 'Stupid people enabling stupid people because we don't know any better'."

You know Darris, I bet the enrollment of this new self-help program would be so immediately huge the Chairmanship would be a paying position. Of course you would know better, but why not garner an income from the help you could give these lost souls?

Obviously, we are animal lovers (indeed gaga for our current babies) but when Miss Cleo asked Cuvee and Syrah why they thought their Mommy was showing them all over the 'Board, they answered:Why because Uncle Pete was placing so many photos and Mommy can't stand to feel behind the curve."