Doomed Through Stupidity
In case you needed further proof that there really are stupid people outthere, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
- On a Sears hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
- On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
- On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how...?)
- On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But its "just" a suggestion)
- On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upsidedown." (Too late!)
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."(As night follows day...)
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
- On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just getthose 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
- On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
- On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."(As opposed to what?)
- On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
- On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains
nuts." (Talk about a newsflash.)- On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eatnuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
- On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
- On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My God!)
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