wife's new car

[Dave Nelson]

My wife, bless her heart, finally got the sports car she's been dreaming of for years. Not brand new, mind, but still under the original factory warranty. Its a Mazda rx-8, loaded to the gunnels with options, and gizmos. The manual looks suspiciously like a manual for a nuclear reacter.
We're driving down the highway recently, when I notice a slight warm sensation on my, well, tushie. I ignore it at first but eventually the buns are getting toasty, if you know what I mean.
I tell my wife there must be a short curcuit in the car wiring, and we're probably about to catch fire, when she tells me about butt warmers in cars seats. Hey, back in Dragonlensman's west Virgina in the "old" days, they used buckets of coal smouldering in the ol' horse drawn buggy to keep their hillbilly butts warm, so I guess my wife can have one in her car.
If she's happy with a warm tushie on a cold day, well, my life may be a mite bit more tolerable too.
We're cruising away, listeneing to the "sound system" when a song she like comes on. Suddenly the volume goes up, but she did'nt even touch the volume control. I says "wow, just when your fave country crooner comes on the radio volume increases by itself."
No, she tells me, there is a second volume control on the steering column, for those apparently to afraid of straining an arm by reaching six inches from the steering column to use the normal volume control.
She asks if I'm comfy in my seat, which is only about 2 inches higher than the pavement passing under us at 70 mph, then she drops a cover, exposing an instrument panel similar to the ones on 747s.
She tells me they are to shift the seats up, down, in, out, backwards, forewards, I think there was one to turn the bloody thing around so you could see whats behind you without going to all the trouble to crane your neck. Now, I've never been to West Virginia, but I'll bet Dragonlensman, on his best day, never rode in a horse and buggy that could do that.
On the other hand, by the time I figure my wife's new car out, It'll be scrap metal. I think I'll just buy a horse and buggy, heat my butt with coal, and adjust my seat hight with a well padded cushion.:cheers: Have a great weekend.

[Lulubelle]

Hey Dave;

You're just lucky she let you RIDE in it!! You only wish you could DRIVE it!!!

Sounds like a cool car :)

[tdj]

Fantastic for her! I'd love one of those.

[Now I See]

I can feel the wind in my hair....sounds like lots of fun! :)

[Johns]

I tell my wife there must be a short curcuit in the car wiring, and we're probably about to catch fire, when she tells me about butt warmers in cars seats. Hey, back in Dragonlensman's west Virgina in the "old" days, they used buckets of coal smouldering in the ol' horse drawn buggy to keep their hillbilly butts warm, so I guess my wife can have one in her car.
If she's happy with a warm tushie on a cold day, well, my life may be a mite bit more tolerable too.
We're cruising away, listeneing to the "sound system" when a song she like comes on. Suddenly the volume goes up, but she did'nt even touch the volume control. I says "wow, just when your fave country crooner comes on the radio volume increases by itself."

She tells me they are to shift the seats up, down, in, out, backwards, forewards, I think there was one to turn the bloody thing around so you could see whats behind you without going to all the trouble to crane your neck. Now, I've never been to West Virginia, but I'll bet Dragonlensman, on his best day, never rode in a horse and buggy that could do that.
On the other hand, by the time I figure my wife's new car out, It'll be scrap metal. I think I'll just buy a horse and buggy, heat my butt with coal, and adjust my seat hight with a well padded cushion.:cheers: Have a great weekend.

You're definitely suffering from chronic West Virginia envy.

Take 2 shots of moonshine, and call Dragon in the morning. (Not that he'll take your call, but it's worth a "shot".):D

[Pete Hanlin]

Nothing more enjoyable than reading a new owners manual!

Sounds like her next purchase needs to be a radar detector (for you folks in WV, radar uses this thing called "electricity" to send out "radio signals" that can detect things like airplanes- and speeding cars)!
:bbg:

[DragonLensmanWV]

Yup, we know all bout zappin' people with rays and stuff. Zappin' you right now and you don't even know it!
Heck, even I walk around all day goin' "Ouch" cause, man - those cosmic rays are killin' me!
Horse and buggy? Here, it's horse and supper.
And the coal in the buckets was for keepin' the snakes warm. Wanted to keep 'em lively for the church when we got there.