Craziest things you've heard from patients...

[va_optikal]

I always do the adjustments and repairs (except solders) right at the table (the salt pan is only 2 steps away) so that the patient sees what's going on - boosts their confidence, quiets their paranoia, saves me a lot of time, and gives me a chance to chat with/educate the patient - if you are confident of your skills, why not?

I feel confident of my repair skills, but I'd rather do my repairs without being eyeballed so closely.. all the time. Sometimes when they don't beleive that , well.. say.... I don't have that same spring load temple in my used frame box and I try to find a simliar one ( even with my special screws) , nothing works, THEN they tend to beleive me. Some folks are real skeptics, but for the most part pretty much everyone walks away happy with my work.
AND many do learn something from me to boot. ;)

[va_optikal]

[quote=snotbagel;252027]


How many times does a patient come in with mangled glasses, that "always get loose", but you have a hard time bending them back even with pliers? Do they have Uri Gellar living with them?


Really. Man I see some doozies and hear some doozies as well. And the glue jobs. Out of this world . And they want me to put those glued up lenses in a new frame thats 'similar' to their old one. Will it fit? Here, this will. sigh............ :hammer:

[watevah]

I had a customer once who asked if we had any bisexual frames. She immediately realized her mistake and told me she meant unisex frames. We both had a good laugh at that one! :D

[Judy Canty]

I've dealt with the glue jobs and the paper clips and the twist ties, but the one I really hate is the broken off toothpick. It's the best fix ever. I usually have to drill this one out. Sometimes I'm just tempted to say "leave it", but replacing the screw brings them back every time.

[opt2012]

I had a customer once who asked if we had any bisexual frames. She immediately realized her mistake and told me she meant unisex frames. We both had a good laugh at that one! :D

This is a good one!! Reminds me of the woman who was at the counter paying and her cell phone started vibrating. She said "Oh sorry, that's my vibrator, hang on a sec!!" After she said it she just stared at me with a horrified look on her face. She did take her cell phone out to see who had called so I'm assuming it WAS the phone...:bbg:

[THE MEB]

had she come in asking for a screw? that always can create embarrasment quite rapidly. Doesn't take the female patient very long to determine the error of the way her question was phrased.

[dweinstein]

Just last week there was a customer who had been trying on glasses for days, and she finally found one. She seemed pretty happy about it, so I asked her why she was so smiley. She said I didn't want to know. I said sure I do. Her reply: "These glasses make me horny."

[OpticianVlad]

I used to work at LC when a young lady came in to buy frames for cosmetic use. She had no script for her glasses, but LC wanted us to charge $70 for plano scratch coated CR-39s. The young lady decided this was too much on top of the cost of the frames and wanted them "as-is."

I told her that the markings could not be removed. She said, "it's ok, I want people to know I'm wearing Versace anyways."
"Cool", I said.

A month later she comes into the store super ******-off. And said, "I was in a club dancing with this guy, and the guy asked me why my glasses say Versace on them." "Why wouldn't you tell me that my glasses were not supposed to say Versace on them?" "Now this guy thinks I'm all ghetto and stuff."

I told her, Ma'am I was trying to tell you last month but you insisted you wanted to keep the name on the lenses. She said, "but you didn't tell me that was a ghetto thing to do."

:)

[NgCognito]

I love the people that ask you to pour more medicine in their glasses. I usually tell them "Sure, let me go throw these in the microwave. I'll be right back." :shiner:

[Optimonte]

How bout ,
My nose pads stink. I said,' Um ... they do" ? He said, ' Yes ! its horrible , I can't wear them , ( slamming glasses on my desk) ... they make me gag. :bbg: It took all I had not to laugh.
( They were silicone )
This man was near 80 years old and was serious as all get out. Needless to say I put a set of hard pads on for him and he was satisified.
I had never heard this one before. I did smell a slight rubber smell, but it really was nothing, but to him it was. ;)

I delivered a new pair of glasses to a lady and about an hour later she called me and said her glasses smelled. She had been running around the house thinking there was a fire somewhere, then realized the smell was gone when she took them off. While on the phone I went to the board and smelled the sample pair and sure enough the vinyl pads did have a burnt smell to them. I replaced them with silicone and she was fine.

[Dave Nelson]

I used to work at LC when a young lady came in to buy frames for cosmetic use. She had no script for her glasses, but LC wanted us to charge $70 for plano scratch coated CR-39s. The young lady decided this was too much on top of the cost of the frames and wanted them "as-is."

I told her that the markings could not be removed. She said, "it's ok, I want people to know I'm wearing Versace anyways."
"Cool", I said.

A month later she comes into the store super ******-off. And said, "I was in a club dancing with this guy, and the guy asked me why my glasses say Versace on them." "Why wouldn't you tell me that my glasses were not supposed to say Versace on them?" "Now this guy thinks I'm all ghetto and stuff."

I told her, Ma'am I was trying to tell you last month but you insisted you wanted to keep the name on the lenses. She said, "but you didn't tell me that was a ghetto thing to do."

:)

Should have said..."Well if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck..."

[DragonLensmanWV]

I've dealt with the glue jobs and the paper clips and the twist ties, but the one I really hate is the broken off toothpick. It's the best fix ever. I usually have to drill this one out. Sometimes I'm just tempted to say "leave it", but replacing the screw brings them back every time.

Gee, that's one thing I usually recommend people do - it won't hurt their threads and I get it out with a quick push from the bottom with a small screw extractor. If there's a few wood shards left over - additional screw-lok!:D

[obxeyeguy]

Not if they broke it off flush, and left it for 2-3 days and got it wet. I also have fought with these.

[Nettie]

Girl comes in yesterday with her moms glasses. THESE DON'T GO DARK OUTSIDE LIKE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO!!!! and hands me a pair of funktified old glasses. Not transitions. I asked how old they were.....THEY ARE BRAND NEW!!! She is standing there with her hands on her hips all defensive. I look up the order....these are not the specs we sold your mother. THEN YOU GAVE HER SOMEONE ELSE'S!!! At this point here comes the mother with the right specs....daughter grabbed an old pair of readers. Mom assures me that the new ones are not changing color, especially in the car. Stick them under UV lamp, they darken right up. I explain that Trans lenses are not going to darken in the car. MY OLD ONES DID!!! Daughter: HER OLD ONES DID!!!! She informed me that if they don't start changing color in the car that she will be in for a refund and go somewhere that could do them right. I tell her again that they are made to darken in direct sun, not in a vehicle. MY OLD ONES DID!!!!.....daughter: HER OLD ONES DID!!! Nice.

vacation friday, vacation friday, vacation friday......

[Fezz]

vacation friday, vacation friday, vacation friday......

Almost there Kid!

Hang in there!

:D:cheers::D:cheers::D

[Dave Nelson]

Nettie, I always loved that line...the old ones did. The proverbial old glasses fit better, worked better, got darker, looked nicer, lasted longer, and for some reason, the living room carpet needed vacuuming less often than it does now...right about the time the new glasses were picked up.
If the old glasses were so freakin' great, what are they doing looking for new ones?
Have a great vacation.:cheers:

[bob_f_aboc]

I've had the same problem with patients. I was able to see the old glasses. Patient calls me from his car and tells me to come outside. I get to his car and he has both old and new pair of glasses sitting on the dash. The 20 year old glass Photogray lenses are at about half darkness and the new Trivex Transitions are almost completely clear.

I had him come inside with both pair and we chatted about the properties of photochromic lenses. I managed to kill about 30 minutes with him and then showed him that the lenses were just as dark in our office as they were in his car and the new ones were just as light.

He told me he wants his new ones like that. After 30 seconds in the tint unit and a week on the magic shelf he was thrilled!!

[Didier]

A woman has to put new lenses in her old frame, but told the optician she absolutly want her old glass lens back. She didn't want the optician to do more money by melting them to make new lenses.

[THE MEB]

your magic shelf reminded me of a story an oldtime optician told me he did, some 30 years ago. He said he had this magic box back in the lab, where, if he put the maladjusted frames on this big X in this box, that it would automatically bench aligned their glasses. He would really just take them back into the lab and do nothing to them, take them back out, put them on their face, and they were astonished at the results! He said he had people coming into his office from far and wide, asking to have their frames put in this magic box, and,oh by the way, got $2.00 for the service some 30 years ago.

[EyeFitWell]

What about the patient who thinks they know more than you, like asking why the frame doesn't sit straight on the table? Or acusing you of breaking a metal frame b/c you didn't heat it before bending it?

[Happylady]

He told me he wants his new ones like that. After 30 seconds in the tint unit and a week on the magic shelf he was thrilled!!

Oh, the magic shelf. :)

[Didier]

A customer arrive in weel chair. He felt from his roof and broke many bones. He was hangry because one lens broke when he felt on the concrete . :hammer:

[Fezz]

A customer arrive in weel chair. He felt from his roof and broke many bones. He was hangry because one lens broke when he felt on the concrete . :hammer:

LOL!!!!

Sell the Fool an old Titmus S-7 with 5mm minimum thickness Trivex lenses! That should satisfy him!!!

;):cheers::cheers::D

[MarcE]

LOL!!!!

Sell the Fool an old Titmus S-7 with 5mm minimum thickness Trivex lenses! That should satisfy him!!!

;):cheers::cheers::D

Then he will be *****in about the scratch that the concrete left on his "scratch-proof" lenses that you sold him.

[MarcE]

THe transitions thing happened 5 times this week.
Pt: "These don't change like my old ones."
Me: "These new Transitions lenses get darker than ever before"
Pt: "But these don't work"
Me: "take them off and look at them" or "take off your hat" or "get out of the car" - which ever is applicable.
Pt: "Oh"

I really don't understand it.