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Thread: Darned Dumb Dog stories...

  1. #1
    Compulsive Truthteller OptiBoard Gold Supporter Uncle Fester's Avatar
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    Darned Dumb Dog stories...

    Harry's horrible week thread inspires this thread:

    Co workers Labrador retriever needs to be shut into the kitchen after spending some time in the yard alone while a morning is spent running errands. As the dog runs into the kitchen the heavy metal door catches the tip of it's tail. No yelp is heard.

    Upon returning home the kitchen looks like a mass murder has taken place. Apparently the door had amputated the tip of the dogs tail causing it to bleed profusely. Meanwhile the dog is running around tail wagging and spraying blood everywhere.

    Vet bandages up the tail and a long evening of cleaning is spent. Next day dog is again left alone for a couple of hours.

    Sure enough dog shakes or otherwise knocks off the bandage and it starts bleeding again. Mass murder scene part 2 upon return.:p

  2. #2
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    We had built a pen outside a sliding door wall on the side of the house for the Bulldog and the Beagle. In the summer we left them out all day. One evening I came home to find them both sitting on the front porch, muddy from noses to tails. I walked around to look at the pen and there was an extremely large, muddy trench dug underneath. Bulldogs aren't diggers, in fact they don't do much of anything but eat and sleep so this must have been instigated by the Beagle in her endless bid for freedom. I asked my neighbor and he said "Yup, they got through about ten this morning and been sittin' on the porch ever since". The whole world to explore and they head to the front stoop. Go figure.

  3. #3
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    When I lived in Tampa, I had an apartment that faced the Gulf, w/ a big picture window over looking the small beach. I'd leave my dog Gina, a lab/dob mix by herself, and she never caused a problem (she was kicked out of the Air Force police dog training school because she wanted to play too much)

    One day, I come home from school, and the picture window is shattered, and she's sitting there on the couch, tail wagging, with some neighborhood mutt that she had invited in. All that was missing was the post romp cigarette.

    Turns out, she was in heat, plowed through the window to get to this nasty dog, did the deed, and then they both jumped back through the window to enjoy the view from the inside. The didn't make a mess, except for the window, and neither of them looked injured. Go figure.

    The dog warden took loverboy, and a few months later, Gina and I moved back to Ohio, where she gave birth to the most God-awful looking pups you ever saw. They ended up as farm dogs for a bunch of the Amish guys around here.
    Ophthalmic Optician, Society to Advance Opticianry

  4. #4
    Rising Star Optician Magician's Avatar
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    A friends elderly father wore dentures and as some "old folk" do, occasionally tortured the grandchildren by sticking his dentures out of his mouth and chasing them around.

    During one of these "Oh so precious" family moments, the dentures dropped to the floor. Before he could retrieve them, the family dog grabs them and starts running around with the false teeth in his mouth!!

    The little mutt made quite a sight running around the house with those big dentures in his mouth and a toothless old man chasing him around while the rest of the family LAUGHS AND LAUGHS!!! :D

  5. #5
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    Coco:

    You in a heap O' trouble with the beagle. The last one I had could escape from the back yard after I had dug down a foot below the chain link and planted attached chicken wire and attached a row of electric fence. Also ate the wires off my boat trailer and once ate a can of charcoal lighter without ill effects.

    Chip

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by chip anderson View Post
    Coco:

    You in a heap O' trouble with the beagle. The last one I had could escape from the back yard after I had dug down a foot below the chain link and planted attached chicken wire and attached a row of electric fence. Also ate the wires off my boat trailer and once ate a can of charcoal lighter without ill effects.

    Chip
    Well, she lived 13 terror filled years and that was enough for me. She out smarted every obstacle we placed in her path to keep her out of the kitchen garbage, including learning to detach child-proof latches, open doors, scoot chairs close to the table to get on top,etc. She never chewed anything but swallowed it whole. She could catch a good sized hamburger that was thrown directly at her at 90 mph. She learned more tricks for food than any dog I've ever known. She once snatched a loaf of rising bread dough off the kitchen table and ate it whole. She sat in the corner for two days burping and looking miserable and every time I walked by her I said "serves you right". When ever I hear someone is thinking of getting "a cute little Beagle" I think, you do not know what you are getting into. May she rest in peace.

  7. #7
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    Funny how there isn't a dumb cat thread too... :D

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