Men only (Blake this means you)

[John R]

:finger: Dont do it man.. Its not worth all the pain and suffering you are going to have to endure for the rest of your life..... and then the kids arrive oh my god the pain (thats the bit that hurts your wallet will never be the same again) lol

But if you really want to then all the best form the right side of the pond. :cheers:

Dont forget have a great stag night and dont remember what you did on it either :shiner:

[Texas Ranger]

Blake, Congratulations on the upcoming ceremony... I know that you are fine Christian young man and marriage is God's gift and blessing, but know that each of you have needs, find out hers and meet them, and share your needs with her. All the best! Al.

[Jo]

Sorry to crash your attempt at a virtual stag here John.

Blake, just remember two words and your life will be fine, "Yes dear."

[mullo]

We musn't forget, "You were right and I was wrong!!!". But Jo you have the hang of it. Congrats Blake............Mullo :cheers:

[Cindy Hamlin]

And of course, Blake, the always popular:

"No honey you are much prettier than her!"


Best of luck!

~Cindy:D

[stephanie]

Don't listen to John...Marriage was the only sane thing I have ever done!! Of course I hope your wedding day was better than mine since I was deathly sick that day. All the best to you and tons of congratualations. Ahhh John you thought you'd say for men only and none of us girls would come on~~~~ WRONG!!! See if you hadn't said that I may have never even looked:)

Best wishes!!!
Steph

[Blake]

I'll get the hang of it eventually, I'm sure. I've already figured out that winning an argument is impossible (in addition to the natural ability all women are born with, she's also a law school grad) - but I try anyway sometimes.

I guess I can't blame the ladies for posting here, since I crashed Suzy's little party. ;-)

Thanks for the well-wishing, and the warnings!


Blake

[Jakeman]

and that's why i'll never have a woman. i am way to straight forward about everything. i can't BS no matter what the situation. i think fast and i talk fast. nothing but the brutal truth. women i work with always tell me i'm mean. i tell them no, it's just that i don't give into all your guff and that makes you frustrated becasue you aren't in control. the women at my work are so manipulative with the guys... except for with me. i'm untouchable. :D

sigh... then they always try to get back at me. big mistake. in the end they end up walking away feeling bad about themselves. the thing about it is that i'm not doing anything mean to them at all. i'm simply cutting out all the BS from the situation which leaves them with nothing to go on. if they have no argument they don't have control of the situation which makes them frustrated.

oh man. i should be a manager. i see my managers take it up the *ss from customers all day. when customers try to manipulate me the conversation is over within 10 seconds. i just beat them down with the brutal truth of the situation. you know, breaking the situation down into the problem / solution formula with desired results from both ends and possible solutions to achieve the various desired results keeping in mind the various constants (rules of business, return policies, manufacturer policies, etc, etc) after that 10 seconds they are asking for my manager because they know they ain't getting nothing out of me.

[hcjilson]

Dear Blake.....I used to know a guy just like the Jakeman once.......he now sings soprano in the boys choir! Just a quick word of advice........

When in doubt,.......CAPITULATE!

Best of luck!
harry J

[Jim G]

The Secrets of Women's Language - A must-read for any man hoping for any relationship with a woman. Keywords and their meanings:

"Fine": This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

"Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

"Nothing": This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

<Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

<Soft Sigh>: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

"Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least
2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

"That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the near future when
she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

"Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

"Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say "You're
welcome."

"Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing."

Learn and heed the above and you'll enjoy many years of marital bliss...

[Texas Ranger]

Guys, Since I am involved with our church's marriage ministry, I would like to say that marriage is hard work, we need to work hard at meeting our spouses most important emotional needs.... His Needs 1. Sexual fulfillment~that's obvious. 2. Recreational companionship~play together.3. An attractive spouse~guys want to proud of their mate's personal appearance. 4. Domestic support~guys don't want to do housework. 5. Admiration~ guys want to be appreciated. Her Needs 1. Affection~ladies need to be "courted", sent flowers, cards, touched, held, kissed, massaged (in non-sexual ways)..Note:without affection, guys, sexual fulfillment is not likely to be fulfilling. 2. Conversation~let's talk...and listen!. 3. Honesty and Openess~just be honest about your past,present and future..no secrets. 4. Financial support~ men should provide the "basic essentials". working a 45 hour week, women want the "option" to work, or not. 5. Family committment~women need their spouse to be a good father to her children. Of course, their are other needs, but these are the primary needs of men and women. And there are some crossovers. But it is important to understand that our spouses have different priorities than we do. And that it's their needs that we need to work on, and if they know ours, they can work on ours, but we must talk about it. And the "yes dear" is not healthy for either party..been there.

[mikev]

Go For It!

;)

The last twelve years of my life have been better
than all the years before when I was single!

If you find the right woman, treat her like the rare find she is!

We don't argue and are considerate of each others
needs and feelings.

If you can find anything close to what I have you'll be a happy man the rest of your life!

Mike

[John R]

Originally posted by stephanie
Don't listen to John...Marriage was the only sane thing I have ever done!!

Why ever not ? Well it would be for a woman :drop:

Of course I hope your wedding day was better than mine since I was deathly sick that day.

edit i would be in big trouble with what i was going to say....

All the best to you and tons of congratualations. Ahhh John you thought you'd say for men only and none of us girls would come on~~~~ WRONG!!! See if you hadn't said that I may have never even looked:)

Best wishes!!!
Steph

Hey Steph i knew that you girls would be unable to stay out, you just had to see what we were up to....
14 years of marriage has taught me that when its says for MY attention the good lady WILL open the mail...

[Jakeman]

i used to be the highest 1st tenor in my choir. then within 6 months during my junior year i gained 30lbs, 1 ft, and 2 bass octaves. now i'm the second lowest bass in my choir. i got that barry white voice now.

[Blake]

Al,

Thanks for the comments - it pretty much correlates to the workbook our pastor had us go through. Every marriage is different, just like people are different, but some things don't change.

Jake - What youre referring to as "BS" is really just diplomacy. It isn't always easy to hold your tongue when you know you're right, but it's usually the best option.


Blake

[LaurieC]

First of all, Jake, I hpe you find the joy in life you are missing.
Second, Suzy and Blake, thank you for sharing these stories.
Al, thank you, your words touched me heart and soul and whatever our religious beliefs, and mine are fairly traditional Christian, these are lessons we can all embrace.

As for me, my marriage is my greatest joy in life and I speak as someone who's been a newlywed for well over two decades and raised a family of five children. Besides all the topics of love, friendship, etc here's the greatest thing about my Jim. In every relationship in life, be it my parents, bosses, mentors, ministers, friends, professors, etc, etc there is not a human being on the face of this earth I respect anywhere close to the respect I have for Jim. He is the benchmark that I measure all others against. If you can put in the hard work life together requires and foster that kind of respect in each other all the rest comes and love remains vibrant....that said here is my advise to Suzy and my warning to Blake...this is what mothers teach their daughters among other things...

When my two girls were both about 16 (we have "Irish twins" chidren within 12 months of each other) their Dad was on a mission to make sure everyday was a learning experience. Upon returning home from a school shopping trip they informed their Dad that they had learned a number of fundamental truths in life:
1. When you're feeling like a knarly hag and having a very bad hair day...silk underclothes will still make you feel beautiful
2. When everyone else has you feeling down...Godiva chocolate and Hagen Das will still make you feel loved.
3. Men will come and go but fine jewelry lasts forever.

My husband, naturally looked at me and expressed I had corrupted "HIS" daughters, but if you can embrace this, you've got half the battle, cause that's how we women work! Taht and "the aforementioned "yes dear"
Best to you.

[Jo]

Al:

I know there are certain faiths that require couples to have marriage counciling or go on retreats prior to marriage. I think if even civic marriages required the same pre-marriage counciling perhaps marriages would last longer. Marriage is a partnership that is bound by contract. If we were entering into a business partnership we would do research and call in the lawyers for counciling, yet we often jump blindly into marriage and marriage is a contract binding for life especially if children are to be involved.

[Jakeman]

heh :D

[chip anderson]

Either agree with them or ignore them. If it's not important let them have it thier way. If it's important do it your way.

Chip

[Jakeman]

Originally posted by chip anderson
Either agree with them or ignore them. If it's not important let them have it thier way. If it's important do it your way.

Chip

oh man, i could never do that. if they are wrong and insist they are right i let them have it! :p

[Blake]

Jo,
If I'm not mistaken, Florida has something called a "covenant marriage" that includes counseling, no quickie divorces, etc. - but it's an optional thing.

[Texas Ranger]

I'll just trow in another important rule...the policy of joint agreement...it states "NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT THE ENTHUSIASTIC AGREEMENT BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE". It is a tough rule to follow, but it really works.

[harry a saake]

:idea: I.ll throw in another little thing here, When you buy a present for her make it personal for her only, not something you both can use. Had a friend one time who was celebrating there 20th, he bought her a kitchen clock. As i remember it didnt hang there long.

[Jakeman]

...and i don't do gifts no matter what the occassion. i will celebrate, but absolutely no gifts. i have this all worked out with all my family members. :D

[LaurieC]

Originally posted by harry a saake
:idea: I.ll throw in another little thing here, When you buy a present for her make it personal for her only, not something you both can use.

Excellent advise Harry, a good rule of thumb here is, as I told my husband early on, do not EVER give me anything with a cord attached.