What Is The Stupidest Question You Have Been Asked

[jjm_1965]

"My nosepad fell off so I superglued it to my frame and got glue all over my lenses, can you get the glue off?" Super glue should be a controlled substance.

I once had a customer back in the late 1980s that brought in a pair of glasses (Welsh-4-drops!!!) with globs of glue around the periphery, but the majority of the centers were fine; she could at least see through them. She asked if I could remove the glue. Even though they were cr-39, it was a lost cause. I said "I cannot remove the glue without damaging the lenses or the frame." (it was zyl). She seemed to understand. The next day, I came to work in the afternoon, and she was there looking very embarrassed. She tried to remove the glue with Comet! To top it off, this was her only pair of glasses. You cannot make this stuff up.

[billmdee]

We had a patient come in and asked if we had any Transient lenses.

We told her no, all of our lenses have nice homes.

[chip anderson]

Until we had our great debate on the subject many years ago, I thought the better microscopes had clear polarized filters.

Chip

[renee1111]

3) "Can I buy glasses that make me look like Sarah Palin?" (Ahem... Perhaps plastic surgery is an option?)

No, but if you bang your head against a brick wall for about 1 or 2 hours you can think like her.

[GAgal]

We had a patient come in and asked if we had any Transient lenses.

We told her no, all of our lenses have nice homes.

Ha Ha! That is so funny!:hammer::shiner::D

[bob_f_aboc]

From a co-worker (ABOC) with 20+ years, "I didn't know the frame measurments affected the lens thickness." :shiner: :hammer::shiner:

[DragonLensmanWV]

Until we had our great debate on the subject many years ago, I thought the better microscopes had clear polarized filters.

Chip

And the photography polarized filters, as far as I can tell, have an absorption equal to around two stops, so, you can make them lightly tinted,but not clear or no polarization can take effect. I have some old KBCo Neutral Gray polarized lenses that are really light - I'll have to measure them.

[wolfman]

the tan 1 polarized yes, but these people literally want a clear lens with the benefits of polarization

Funny I actually had a guy argue with me that one existed.

Dang, you weren't supposed to tell people about that argument. :bbg:

[opty4062]

Patient called to see if his glasses were ready.

Me: Mr Smith, you must have ESP! They came in this morning!
Mr Smith: ESP?!? ESP?!? The doc said they were reading glasses!!

[mlm]

Not a question, but...

Had a 45-year old woman come in last week to pick up her new diagnostic contact lenses. Brought her into the contact lens room and invited her to wash her hands while I opened the blisters. She ignored me. I said it again, "Please wash you hands while I get your contact lenses ready." She looks at me and says "Oh, my hands are clean already." So I say, "Actually no, I want you to wash your hands before you touch your contact lenses." She looked at me like I was from another planet, and proceeded to rinse her hands quickly while telling me that this isn't what happens in the "real world".

Lady, I don't want to live in your world

[chip anderson]

MLM:
On a related side bar. You'd be amazed at the number of apearently sophisticate, well educated rich women I see that when told to wash thier hands mearly rinse with water.
When questioned they say that's all I ever do.
When questioned further I find that they are no longer taught it in school what soap does. Just for the record the purpose of soap is to mix oil with water. Most think it's some sort of disinfectant, or cleanser or skin treatment. Soaps with oils are actually kind of an antithesis for soap.

Chip

[countryeyes]

One day we had some smell good candles lit in the office, and a pt came up to me and looked at the candle than looked at me and then back to the candle and asked, "What do you light your candles with?" After a brief pause I replied, "With fire." Pt nodded her head in agreement and then sat back down in our waiting area.

[William Walker]

When Sarah Palin hit the big time, we had a lot of patients asking if we had Sarah Palin's glasses.
I got curious, knowing we have a Costco in her hometown in Alaska. I can't say much without crossing that privacy line, but you can infer from my emphasis...
"It's not that Costco has Sarah Palin's glasses; quite the opposite..."

[DestinieNicole]

My favorite stupid question came from a patient that was told by the Dr. that she saw 20/20 in her distance but needed reading glasses, and knowing that she used a computer occasionally for work suggested progressives so that she would not have to take her glasses on and off. She ordered progressives everything was explained, with an emphasis on the fact that she had no distance Rx. She came back a week after she picked them up and said "these glasses don't work at all for driving, why is that I can see just as good in my distance without them." LOL it's so hard to not sound condescending when you answer that.

[shelleygirl]

A patient orders glasses, she has an awesome insurance plan that pays us $400. She didn't have the money on her to pay her portion but since we usually just let them pay half down and the insurance payment would more than cover it we made them. I called her when they were ready and she sent her son to pick them up. There was a $200 balance and he had no idea, he called his mom. She wanted to talk to me and said no one told her she had to pay the whole balance before she picked them up and that we should of explained that to her. I told her to tell me any other place you can go and get a product and leave with it and not pay for it. She had no response and just kept saying we should have a sign up saying that.

The other thing that gets me is when we call 20 patients to tell them their glasses are ready and leave messages for most, they will call us back and say "someone from there just called me" like we magically know who they are and they sound frustrated when we ask their name. I want to say "LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGE LAZY *** INSTEAD OF CALLING US"

[William Walker]

The other thing that gets me is when we call 20 patients to tell them their glasses are ready and leave messages for most, they will call us back and say "someone from there just called me" like we magically know who they are and they sound frustrated when we ask their name. I want to say "LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGE LAZY *** INSTEAD OF CALLING US"

I actually enjoy having a little fun with those patients. I make sure not to be perceived as condescending, but I'll ask, "Well, when we call you, we leave a message. What did your message say?"

We quote a week and a half to two weeks (to be on the safe side), so when someone comes by, or calls, as I'm looking up their info, I'm asking them, "Did anyone call to let you know they are ready? No, okay. How long ago did you order them?" When they say a few days, or a week ago: "Well, our glasses take a week and a half to two, so they're not expected in just yet, but I don't mind looking it up for you." Usually after that, they wait for our call.

[shelleygirl]

Yeah I will usually pick up the call since I always call all line 6 on our phone so when they say there is call on that line I KNOW what they are wanting. I say "we left a message, didn't you get it???" To that they say, no I don't listen to messages. So instead of pushing a button and listening to their message, they pick up the phone, dial our number, interupt our front desk who are always slam, and make someone hunt down their job. What do they say to you when you ask what their message said? What is your response to it? I'm sure it will make me giggle.

[shelleygirl]

When they pick up their glasses and swear it isn't the pair they ordered, yeah like we switch the frames just to mess with their minds!!!! And the frame they swear is the one they chose is always a much more expensive name brand frame!!!!

Or the ones who come in with their lenses scratched to hell and we ask how do you clean them and like they rehearsed they all say "I ONLY USE THE CLEANER AND CLEANING CLOTH YOU GAVE ME!!!! Or the scratches are exactly where lens meets a surface when placed face down and when I place them face down to see if the scratches are where the lens hits, they say "OH I NEVER PUT THEM DOWN LIKE THAT!!!!'

Or the ones who come and announce "I AM FRIENDS WITH DR. SO AND SO" hoping we think they are some big important person. My co-worker says under his breath, I know him too, he signs my paycheck. Big woo!!!!

[renee1111]

Just got off the phone with a sweet little old lady (I could tell by her voice)
Lady: I purchased glasses from you a little while ago and they've never been comfortable.
Me: Oh, sorry to hear that...but why don't you come on in, so I can re-adjust them for you?
Lady: Oh, yesterday I got my eyes tested and purchased new lenses from (your competition). I was just calling to let you know that you should make sure your customers are happy or they won't come back to you again.

I checked to see when she purchased glasses from us last....turns out it had been 3 years ago!!! :hammer::hammer:

****** I guess, I have to brush up on my mind reading abilities******

[shelleygirl]

you asked her how you could of known there was a problem without her calling or coming in the past three years???? The things we put up with....:hammer:

[DestinieNicole]

Just got off the phone with a sweet little old lady (I could tell by her voice)
Lady: I purchased glasses from you a little while ago and they've never been comfortable.
Me: Oh, sorry to hear that...but why don't you come on in, so I can re-adjust them for you?
Lady: Oh, yesterday I got my eyes tested and purchased new lenses from (your competition). I was just calling to let you know that you should make sure your customers are happy or they won't come back to you again.

I checked to see when she purchased glasses from us last....turns out it had been 3 years ago!!! :hammer::hammer:

****** I guess, I have to brush up on my mind reading abilities******

Oh yes the ever famous these have never been right glasses but it was over a decade ago when I got them and I'm just now letting you know! LOL people are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny.

[GAgal]

Just got off the phone with a sweet little old lady (I could tell by her voice)
Lady: I purchased glasses from you a little while ago and they've never been comfortable.
Me: Oh, sorry to hear that...but why don't you come on in, so I can re-adjust them for you?
Lady: Oh, yesterday I got my eyes tested and purchased new lenses from (your competition). I was just calling to let you know that you should make sure your customers are happy or they won't come back to you again.

I checked to see when she purchased glasses from us last....turns out it had been 3 years ago!!! :hammer::hammer:

****** I guess, I have to brush up on my mind reading abilities******

I had something very similar
Lady: I purchased glasses from you a few months ago and I could never see out of them
Me: I'm sorry ma'am. Let me pull your file and see what I can do
Me: Ma'am I pulled your file, and the last time you had your eyes examined was 2 years ago
Lady: That's right, it's only been a few months and I think you should fix it. I paid $700 (they were actually only $325) for these glasses and they should last longer than 2 years so you should give me a new pair either for free or at a large discount. :shiner:

Another favorite: "You mean I have to give you back the glasses that I just got a refund for! You just told me that they're custom made so no one else can use them!" Well, evidently neither can you since you are getting a refund!:hammer:

[jjm_1965]

"Do I need a subscription to get glasses?"

Yes, and you need to purchase a new pair every week, otherwise you have to send back the complimentary clock radio.

[Happylady]

I had a man come in yesterday that had broken the temple off his internet eyeglasses. He tried to use epoxy to glue it back on and he put them in the oven to harden the epoxy.

Of course, he still has a broken frame and now he has crazed AR lenses, too. He told me that he thought it would be okay because the oven was only 200 degrees.

[Kid A]

1. "My nosepad fell off so I superglued it to my frame and got glue all over my lenses, can you get the glue off?" Super glue should be a controlled substance

Back when i was dispensing i was asked the same question by a patient. I put a splash of acetone on a tissue and it took the superglue right off, the lenses were tinted CR39 and looked brand new afterwards!