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Thread: What Is The Stupidest Question You Have Been Asked

  1. #1101
    Master OptiBoarder Mizikal's Avatar
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    "My child lost the case you gave her when she picked up the glasses so will you just mail her a new one?"

    I explained I would be more then happy to mail a new case and that I charge $10.00 to ship anything. She decided to get a new case at Walmart.

  2. #1102
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    question:"How much are glasses?"
    answer: " how much is a dress?"

  3. #1103
    looking up the answers smallworld's Avatar
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    ++
    Last edited by smallworld; 07-11-2015 at 07:05 PM.

  4. #1104
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    Guy came in a couple of days ago asking if we can adjust his frame. I told him to have a seat at my desk and that I would see what I could do for him. How when I say that this was a big fellow, I mean BIG, I'm 6' 4" and about 238 and looked like a child next to this cat. Anyhow he produces what can only be described as an accessory frame for a Barbie Doll inside the palm of his polar bear sized hand. I take it from him and the frame magically increases in size to about a 51/18, too small for even me. I ask him, loaded question, what he would like me to do with the frame. His question was, get ready, can you grow it for me.
    Sir, is it your intent to try and wear these. Yes, he said. Sir, I replied; there is nothing on God's green earth that I can possibly do to get this frame to fit you. Don't you have a machine that can grow the frame, he said. I said, if grow or increase the size of the frame to the point were it could fit you the lenses would never fit and that technology is not available to us. Maybe miracle grow, I said sardonically under my breath. Hey, that's worth a shot. Thanks, he said happily heading toward the door. Sir, I responded, I was just kidding. He stopped, smiled, and said about the machine. No, said I. About miracle grow. Oh.
    I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain

  5. #1105
    OptiWizard
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    ^lolz

    man. I wish I was there for that one.

  6. #1106
    Master OptiBoarder optical24/7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Smith LDO View Post
    Guy came in a couple of days ago asking if we can adjust his frame. I told him to have a seat at my desk and that I would see what I could do for him. How when I say that this was a big fellow, I mean BIG, I'm 6' 4" and about 238 and looked like a child next to this cat. Anyhow he produces what can only be described as an accessory frame for a Barbie Doll inside the palm of his polar bear sized hand. I take it from him and the frame magically increases in size to about a 51/18, too small for even me. I ask him, loaded question, what he would like me to do with the frame. His question was, get ready, can you grow it for me.
    Sir, is it your intent to try and wear these. Yes, he said. Sir, I replied; there is nothing on God's green earth that I can possibly do to get this frame to fit you. Don't you have a machine that can grow the frame, he said. I said, if grow or increase the size of the frame to the point were it could fit you the lenses would never fit and that technology is not available to us. Maybe miracle grow, I said sardonically under my breath. Hey, that's worth a shot. Thanks, he said happily heading toward the door. Sir, I responded, I was just kidding. He stopped, smiled, and said about the machine. No, said I. About miracle grow. Oh.

    Isn't it nice when you can tell a big, burly guy to go "grow a pair".....................of glasses?

  7. #1107
    Rising Star
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    I love all of these! Some of my favorites are "My legs are crooked", "The medicine ran out", or my personal favorite "The strew fell outta my glasses and the glens is gone. What do you mean I gotta pay for another glens?"


  8. #1108
    Compulsive Truthteller OptiBoard Gold Supporter Uncle Fester's Avatar
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    The Missus tells me of the patient who came in recently with the glasses in pieces.

    "I ran them over with the lawn mower. Can you fix them?"

    Can't make this stuff up!!!

  9. #1109
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    Can you adjust these please? They feel like they're hanging on my nose??!!

  10. #1110
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter Java99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Fester View Post
    The Missus tells me of the patient who came in recently with the glasses in pieces.

    "I ran them over with the lawn mower. Can you fix them?"

    Can't make this stuff up!!!
    We had a guy plow his under once. He found them the next spring, we cleaned them up, made a few adjustments, and sent him on his way!

  11. #1111
    Compulsive Truthteller OptiBoard Gold Supporter Uncle Fester's Avatar
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    Just now-

    "I've found a frame on line. Will you order it so I can see if it's the right size so I can order the glasses on line?"

    Sure! To be safe why don't we order it in different sizes and colors!! We'll even bring them to your house!!!

  12. #1112
    Master OptiBoarder OptiBoard Silver Supporter
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Fester View Post
    Just now-

    "I've found a frame on line. Will you order it so I can see if it's the right size so I can order the glasses on line?"

    Sure! To be safe why don't we order it in different sizes and colors!! We'll even bring them to your house!!!
    Wow.

  13. #1113
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    THE least you can do is fed ex overnight it for him...no?

  14. #1114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Fester View Post
    Just now-

    "I've found a frame on line. Will you order it so I can see if it's the right size so I can order the glasses on line?"

    Sure! To be safe why don't we order it in different sizes and colors!! We'll even bring them to your house!!!
    Did he want you to wear them for him too!? hahah

  15. #1115
    looking up the answers smallworld's Avatar
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    I have been asked to show a patient how they can order their glasses online.

  16. #1116
    Eyes eastward... Uilleann's Avatar
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    "Is blue light dangerous?"

    LOL LOL LOL

    ...So far, science hasn't proven anything about it. But I have no fewer than 6 different expensive lenses I can sell you right now. Because...BE AFRAID!!

    LOL LOL. LOL

  17. #1117
    Master OptiBoarder mdeimler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smallworld View Post
    I have been asked to show a patient how they can order their glasses online.
    Go ahead and do it. Charge your normal fee for it too, like $35.00 or $300.00, whatever you feel appropriate.
    Last edited by mdeimler; 09-24-2015 at 08:12 AM. Reason: forgot the "D"

  18. #1118
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    Not a question but still pretty silly. A Mother told us that she let her son (14) sleep in his contacts becasue she wanted him to be able to see clearly in his dreams....

  19. #1119
    OptiBoard Moron newguyaroundhere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaledarkwind View Post
    Not a question but still pretty silly. A Mother told us that she let her son (14) sleep in his contacts becasue she wanted him to be able to see clearly in his dreams....
    Hope she enjoys him seeing his dreams with various infections and potential damage to his eyes
    Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity

  20. #1120
    looking up the answers smallworld's Avatar
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    I fit a patient in a new ff progressive. Long story short I had to remake and go back to old school traditional progressive. The patient was happy with the result, saying to her husband "the other ones were just TOO CLEAR! do you know what I mean..just like, too clear"

  21. #1121
    OptiWizard
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    Quote Originally Posted by smallworld View Post
    I fit a patient in a new ff progressive. Long story short I had to remake and go back to old school traditional progressive. The patient was happy with the result, saying to her husband "the other ones were just TOO CLEAR! do you know what I mean..just like, too clear"
    Had that happen one time and mentioned it to the Dr. His reply was, "Too clear huh? Well, that's George."
    George was the curator at a museum. A very nice guy, but a little odd.

  22. #1122
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    We have a magic BOX....

  23. #1123
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    Patient: I want a FRESHLOOK YELLOW contacts for costplay.
    Me: I am very sorry but FRESHLOOK brand doesn't have YELLOW color. I can offer you other brands that have.
    Patient: My friend bought hers YELLOW FRESHLOOK on e-bay
    Me: I guess you can buy anything on ebay, even a non-existant thing.

    -I still wonder what kind of YELLOW FRESHLOOK her friend got.-

    Another one....
    Eye test with old glasses on.
    Patient: I see perfectly fine.
    Me: What this line says?
    Patient: 8-8-8-8-8

  24. #1124
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    lol

  25. #1125
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    Hows this one ..when a pt askes if they can fill their subscription from their obstetrician...lol

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