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Thread: working with the boss's relatives

  1. #1
    OptiBoard Apprentice OptiBoard Bronze Supporter Eyez53's Avatar
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    I have a problem that I would love to get y'all's input on--how many of you work in a situation where the boss's relatives are in the workplace with you? I have been working with a VERY CLOSE relative of my boss and after over a decade, it is finally getting to be a big problem. I have been cleaning up the "messes" that have been created quietly all this time but now this person is becoming very forgetful and hostile if I try to correct and am discovered doing it. Like neglecting seg heights, PD's etc. among the more innocent of them. Our lab doesn't like dealing with this person and that makes it all the more difficult when they call and want only to spreak to me.
    Bottom line--what, if anything short of quitting, do y'all do? I love the job, the rest of the personnel, the practice and even this person most of the time, but I am nearing the end of my rope. HELP!!

  2. #2
    Master OptiBoarder JennyP's Avatar
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    Question

    Has it always been this way and now you are getting tired of it? Or is this a relatively (no pun intended) new problem? Maybe the relative has a medical condition that could be improved... we had an employee awhile back that had diabetes, and if he wasn't careful about when to eat and get his meds, he got very spacey, forgetting things and ordering wierd stuff. (And also getting upset when errors were called to his attention.) Otherwise, is this relative really happy here? And are you? Maybe its time to quit ignoring, or covering up, the problem. Tact may help...especially if you approach it as "gee, is there anything I can do to help you figure out what's going on ?" (Especially if the relative SHOULD know how to do the job.) Further, is this relative your 2nd boss, or considered a co-worker? It may be time to go to the real boss if it is hurting the business and/or employee relations.
    Good luck!
    jP

  3. #3
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    Well, if you have been for a long time and running for hills is not what you want to do, then simply stop covering up. I know that might not be the most benifical from the patients standpoint, but the bottom line, you are not doing anyone, including the patients, any good if the mistakes are being made.

    It might be a simply matter of arragonce, maybe more. You mentioned that you have been covering up in one way or the other for many years, maybe it's the tension finally building up.

    Whatever the case might be, I really wish you the best of luck and let us know what happens.

    Richard

  4. #4
    Bad address email on file John R's Avatar
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    I agree with richard leave then to their own devices and let them either sink or swim after all this time they should know the job and whats required. Or you could bite the bullet and tell the boss what has been going on all these years and that no one at the lab wants to speek to them. This is one of the problems with "i'm the bosses relative" being employed, What you realy should have done is not covered up from the start but pointed it out so that they could sort it out then. I can just see the boss now saying "why did'nt you tell me this years ago" but hindsite is a wonderful thing that no optician can give you :D
    Good luck which ever course you take but if you realy like your job don't leave just because of one idiot.
    John R

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  5. #5
    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Redhot Jumper

    OOOH been there done that. It is definately horrible. Equally as horrible working with the boss's buddy. No one to complain to about it. It will always get justified or dismissed. What are you going to do? You either deal with it,go into denial about it, or find another job. My idea would have to be the latter!!! I sure can empathize. It seems like no matter where I go I am either dealing with one of my scenerios or the other. Better yet get my own dispensary!!!
    Steph"still looking for that perfect job"D

  6. #6
    Master OptiBoarder karen's Avatar
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    having BEEN the bosses relative and having caused lots of anguish for my co workers let me first say I am sorry to hear of your troubles. My dad's staff pulled a mutiny when I was out on maternity leave and it was an eye opening experience for me which caused me to turn myself around and become an "employee' instead of a "relative". Maybe an honest conversation with the person is question would be the best place to start. I would like to think that I would have responded to that. Also, in defense of being a relative, it ain't all it is cracked up to be. I am pretty sure my dad could not have said things to other employees that he did to me without getting sued and getting a raise was tricky-although it became less tricky after I pulled my head out and started really working :) Seriously though, it isd hard to leave the job at home when you see your family outside of work. Best of luck!

  7. #7
    OptiBoard Apprentice OptiBoard Bronze Supporter Eyez53's Avatar
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    Thanks for the replies. The thing is--IT's THE WIFE and the owner is well aware of the difficulties but ,as he so succinctly puts it, "she's my wife, what am I gonna do?" I don't hate her or anything . I am just frustrated and wanted to see what y'all had to say. My co-worker says I should let her discover her own mistakes but then the patient pays the price for the negligence and that's not fair. Besides I tried that and then she's 20 times more difficult to deal with. Guess I am not a confronter. Well, thanks for the support. Nice to know that I am not in this alone!!

  8. #8
    Bad address email on file Darris Chambless's Avatar
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    Redhot Jumper

    Howdy Eyez53,

    I have been in your position but worse. First let me say that I too liked the patients I dealt with, the staff I worked with, the job in general and the wife as well BUT...:-)

    I'll be a little more direct on a response and say that it is time to start looking for another job. It was probably time to start looking for another job the day she signed on. I don't care how great you think these people are it always, let me repeat ALWAYS, leads to the same conclusion.

    My advice: When family starts moving in it's time for you to move out. Blood is thicker than water, Dude and you will always lose.

    Sorry to be the barer of bad news, but I'm hoping that my experience with this type of thing can help you do what you need to do. It's hard when you have been somewhere as long as you have, but trust me when I say it's time to get out. I was with my last employer 14 years before I realized he was a soulless cretin :-) It wasn't easy to do but I never looked back.

    Take care and watch your back,

    Darris C.

  9. #9
    Bad address email on file stephanie's Avatar
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    Yes I agree totally with Darris. I used to work with an OD whose son was our "optician". He was so over bearing that I think I almost had a nervous break down. No kidding. He used to like me to take the blame for his mistakes and actually criticize me in front of pts!! I went to his dad with this and at first he said stuff like yea your right then it ends with but he's my son so what am I going to do? I say time to get out.
    Good luck!!!!
    Steph

  10. #10
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    Years ago I made the mistake of working for a family owned optical group. It was a total disaster! The son and daughter-in-law ostensibly "ran" the business. They did a fine job of "running" it - right into the ground.

    A friend had an offer from an OD with multiple offices - be the supervisor of the offices. Not much salary, but a company car (a Taurus) and 20% of the bottom line at years end. I advised him not to do it.

    You guessed it! At the end of the year - no bottom line. While the doctor was hard working, the wife and two sons (who did not work) were on the payroll and each drove a sportscar.

    Years later I once again went to work for a family firm (I really needed the job). The results were similar to what everyone else has described. Always being the outsider and constantly being second guessed (incorrectly I might add)made life miserable.

    The son went through three different company cars in the first year, while the wife got a new Cadillac every year. The boss drove a Mercedes. What a suprise that with all that expense and their $3 million (that's right 3 mil) home, they could not longer afford to keep me.

    Start looking now and bail out at the first good opportunity.

  11. #11
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    I work for a family owned operation and have for the past 14 years. Though everything is not always rosy we do get along. Well most of the time. I don't back down. We have had our disagreements and our arguments and not speaking for periods of time but we have never lost the respect for each other and what we are trying to accompolish. Sure maybe the family gets better perks than I do but so what. I get paid to do what I do. I am not a family member and do not expect to become one. I can complain that it should be more because each of us feels that we deserve more money but it is very fair.
    I have worked for other family owned businesses and it didn't work for one reason or another and I left. I have also worked for larger companies and have seen the same injustices in those companies. It is called the buddy system.
    In my own case I might be just as big a pain to the relatives as they are to me. I'm sure that those of you who know me would agree with that assessment.

    Jerry

  12. #12
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    Thumbs up

    I agree with Darris. Been there done that; impossible situations. In hind sight I should have given myself a quick hard kick in the butt. The proper term for family involvement w/preferential treatment is Nepotism. Start looking now. Family comes first because of blood no matter how much you can do or generate.

  13. #13
    Optical Curmudgeon EyeManFla's Avatar
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    I had a situation many years ago where an owner brought me in to run one of his stores because his son was a screwoff but he was too chicken-s..t to tell him (think Mom may have had something to do with it?...lol).
    The son had the last laugh, sorta. The Dad died, the son took over, cashed out everything, left Mom high and dry and moved to Hawaii.
    Don't ya just love families.

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