Funny stories

[jtart2]

The Optiboard seems a bit boring lately. I was wondering if anyone would care to share an interesting or funny story about a patient or pateints.

Here's one...
I had a patient who came in a few years ago to get colored contact lenses.
She told me her husband's business was going bankrupt and she need to make a lot of money quickly. She knew she could make fast money in a local strip club, but she didn't want anyone to recognize her, so she dyed her hair a different color, and purchased colored contacts to conceal her identity.

She later came back to try other colred contact lenses because a man began "stalking" her! Oh the things we do for money!

[optowalt]

had a guy several years ago that let his contacts dry out and he called to ask what to do. I told him he could rehydrate them . He said he already did. I asked him with what? He said Visinebut Now they burn his eyes so I told him to throw them away and come in. He said "do you think I should take them out?"

[chip anderson]

My Brother, who is a little strange himself, once had a girlfriend who kept her contact in the refrigerator so she would wake up in a hurry when she put them in.

I have also had patients "store" lenses in visene and get very mad at me when told they were ruined. Actually they can be purged if you care..

Chip

[ikon44]

back in the old days before disposable lenses patients had to use protein removing tablets, i had one lady who was getting severe protein build up and asked her if she was using her protein tabs, she assured me she was, except turns out she was swallowing them !!!:D

[Mightymouse]

I once heard of a jackaroo who treated his contacts by putting them in the case with tap water, then sticking it under the radiator cap of of his 4WD Holden. After a few hours of driving around in the bush, they'd be heat treated and ready to wear.:hammer:

[GOS_Queen]

This was years ago ...

My young apprentice was ever so carefully removing the large, plastic glasses from a lady who wanted her glasses adjusted. As she was pulling the glasses away from the ladies face, a STRING of (I hope) caked makeup/face cheese?, which was attached to the glasses and her face was dangling in mid-air. It reminded me of a string of mozzarella on pizza that is dangling as you pull the slice of pizza away from pizza pie ...{{shudder}} Of course, my young apprentice was horrified ... the lady seemed not to notice ... (thankfully, she was a very high plus and probably couldn't see it). The ultrasonic sure got a workout that day ...

[Mightymouse]

eww.....that was more gross than funny, but keep em coming

[Snitgirl]

I had a person walk into our office that was in need of an adjustment. His lenses were so gross... 80% of the lenses were caked with dirt and the only clean spot was a small area (the size of a dime) in the middle portion of his lens where his pupil was; looked like he cleaned it with a Q-Tip. After adjusting I was just about to clean them when he rushed to let me know he didn't want them cleaned. I was confused because they were sooooo dirty I couldn’t even see through them, that is how bad they were. Anyhow, he stated that if I clean them, it would be very hard for him to see through them. HUH???:hammer: <-- I didn't get it since I was so focused on how dirty they were. He mentioned that his lenses have been this way (extremely dirty with only the centers clean) for sooooo many years that it would affect his vision if the whole glass were clean. Since I thought he was off his rocker :shiner: to begin with, I wasn't going to express the need to clean them, that’s for sure. I did ask him though how he cleaned them and he stated that he doesn't have to because his eyelashes clean the lenses. Every time he blinks his eyelashes touch the lenses and the up and down motion wipes the dirt away…

Crazy!!!

[Happylady]

A rep told me this;

A man brought back his Crizal lenses and they were badly crazed after just a few weeks. The optician thought this was very unusual but she had them redone. A few weeks later the man brought them in again very crazed. The optician questioned the man about how he was caring for them and the man assured her he was taking proper care of them. She redid them again.

A few weeks later the man came back again with the lenses crazed. This time the optician told him he had to be doing something to them and the man again told her no, he was taking good care of them and keeping them clean. In fact he made a point of cleaning them in the dishwasher once a week!

[CME4SPECS]

I was once accused of selling a lady a used frame. The half eye that she purchased was a gray fade and was marked COL GRAY FADE. Since her son was in the military she knew that the military issued glasses to servicemen, and that I had sold her frames that once belonged to COLONEL GARY FADE! Now try to explain that with a straight face!

[Snitgirl]

I think the Ocean Air does something to people... LOL

[Happylady]

This happened just this past week. A man came in with glasses he got elsewhere. He told me the coating on the lenses was coming off and he tried to remove it with very fine sandpaper! He told me he used this sandpaper on airplane windows to remove scratches and he figured that both the windows and the lenses were plastic.

Needless to say, the lens he used the sandpaper on looked very bad.

I was surprised to learn that sandpaper is used on airplane windows.

[Lewy]

I have had a Mr Puke on my files, I guess he got SICK of people making fun of his name. I have also seen a Miss Fanny and a Mr Conrad Konrad.

Most embarrasing moments were when adjusting old nitrate frames; One went up in smoke, just left with the lenses the other the side snapped in half with a very loud crack, right in front of the client! Once when marking up a pair of Vari's I slipped with the marker pen and got a black line right down the side of someone nose. Lastly I was heating up a plastic frame to shrink it down a bit as the lenses were loose. Glass reactolite lenses...dropped the whole lot into a bowl of cold water, bingo the lens split in two.

Just a few funny moments.

Lewy

[Blake]

I once had a fellow come in who had had a little too much to drink. He was apparently well aware of the slight adjustment his glasses required, yet somehow blissfully unaware of the huge bleeding gash on his left hand!

Also, I learned the hard way how to tell customers we didn't have a public restroom. Had a guy come in needing to drop the kids off at the pool, so I pointed him in the right direction. Well, this chap had some "special needs", among which was the need to successfully differentiate between the commode and the wall. And the sink. And the door.

[cinders831]

I had a women ask for a refferal to a surgeon for breast reduction surgery. As if I, your friendly local optician could issue that type of referral. I have had a women get very very ticked when I cleaned her very dirty glasses after and adjustment because she said she now had to much glare. I have had a women, recently I hate to say, come in and question my credentials while shopping me, go elsewhere, come back and insist on seeing proof of my credentials as the opth. warned her of bad opticians and she didnt want any remakes so then when she was done trying to weasle every discount she could for her age, race, height, weight , (small exaggeration) she finally purchased glasses (darn it!) only to have them be horribly wrong, of course it had to me right.....nope after all the warnings and drills she was given the incorrect RX she had to have a recheck and the glasses remade...ergh! When I was pregnant I was helping a pt select glasses, they asked what I was having and when I said a girl they said, yes its true someone said, "I bet you hope they dont get hair like yours" this same women has also said to me, please help me pick out glasses but none like those ugly things you wear. (I wear silhouette drills and my hair is naturally curly, think Graces hair from Will and Grace) I am not that bad but after a day with her I felt like a toad. Isnt it amazing how the public stinks sometimes!

[cinders831]

I once had a fellow come in who had had a little too much to drink. He was apparently well aware of the slight adjustment his glasses required, yet somehow blissfully unaware of the huge bleeding gash on his left hand!

Also, I learned the hard way how to tell customers we didn't have a public restroom. Had a guy come in needing to drop the kids off at the pool, so I pointed him in the right direction. Well, this chap had some "special needs", among which was the need to successfully differentiate between the commode and the wall. And the sink. And the door.




That guy, he has been to my place as well as has his mother and great uncle.....ewwwww! the "crap" we put up with.

[OPTIDONN]

We had this lady come in with a bent up pair of glasses. She was so sweet and the glasses belonged to her sone. She went on and on about him and how great he was. I asked what happened and she said "Oh he got into a fight with the police" I guess this was a regular occurance.

Here is something that happened to me. I wear a blue lab smock at work and the other day I was edging some jobs and had to step out of the lab to dispense some glasses. When I walked back into the lab I happened to look down and see that my lab coat was all dark blue and wet by the crotch! The edger we use is waist level on the table and some water was splashing out without my knowledge.:o

[For-Life]

So this guy comes in with $5 Canadian Tire (similar to Walmart, but more industrial) sunglasses. We had a full house at the time.

He is yelling at one of our employees that he needs a temple and basically blaming us for them breaking (:s). So she brings it to us and I decide I will talk to him. I went up to him and said that I could not five them because the plastic part is broken. He freaks out and says no one wants to help us and that this city is pathetic because no one has any parts for anything. I say, did you try Canadian Tire again, and he is like ya they are &#&#!#!# and stormed out.

All over $5 sunglasses. Why do people want to save them so badly?

[Snitgirl]

We had this lady come in with a bent up pair of glasses. She was so sweet and the glasses belonged to her sone. She went on and on about him and how great he was. I asked what happened and she said "Oh he got into a fight with the police" I guess this was a regular occurance.

Here is something that happened to me. I wear a blue lab smock at work and the other day I was edging some jobs and had to step out of the lab to dispense some glasses. When I walked back into the lab I happened to look down and see that my lab coat was all dark blue and wet by the crotch! The edger we use is waist level on the table and some water was splashing out without my knowledge.:o

ahahaha, you poor guy!!! <==can't stop laughing about your lab coat!!

[chm2023]

Years ago a client of mine--large optical retailer--told me this: a patient asked the best way to clean his lenses--the dispenser advised him to use warm soapy water and rinse under clear warm water. Patient: "should I take them off first?"

[ziggy]

"I bet you hope they dont get hair like yours"
This reminds me of the optician prior to me. She was taking the pd of a patient and found that the patient was symmetrical (30/30). The optician said to the patient "thats funny, usualy only the pretty people are symmetrical" the patient had MS and was in a wheel chair. Some people have the social skills of a goat!

[Graduate]

A lady walked in our office for lasek information.She said she was feed up with her husband wearing eyeglasses when making love.Funny:bbg:

[disneygal]

I have a patient who comes in routinely for an adjustment...and then proceeds to adjust them himself. All I have to do is clean them! Gotta love that!:)

[hcjilson]

Less than 24 hours after receiving OAM's optician of the year 2002-3 the optician in question was preparing to close shop for the day. One of his customers came in with an emergency at 4:45. Both lenses had fallen out of her oval frame. He reinserted the lenses, tightened the loose screws, and adjusted the frame. She left happy but was back inside of 5 minutes." I can't see through these glasses anymore" was her new complaint.The optician quickly caught his error and was a tad more than a little embarassed. Not only had he switched right for left, he had put them in UPSIDE DOWN! While I may not be able to divulge the name of the optician, I will be happy to identify the customer. It happened in my shop.........and I work alone .......'nuff said!

Moral of the story- don't be in a rush, and remember to check your work!

hj

[Mikef]

When I was growing up in VT Lived between the Lillycrap's and the Hoar's. We always called Mrs. Hoar "Ima"

The Graves lived across the street!