Birthing babies

[chm2023]

Had a spirited discussion last evening on the topic of childbirth, specifically the idea of having your husband in the delivery room. I feel slightly abashed admitting this, but after my first child with my husband at my side, I decided I preferred he not be there. Giving birth required ALL my concentration and frankly I found my husband distracted me, I was worried about him as he looked like the prototypical man in this situation, white as a sheet, and his efforts to help me were more irritating than anything else.

Am I just mean or do any of you ladies share my feelings?

[hcjilson]

I'm not a woman, but I share your feelings to the 100th power!The delivery room is a place for pro's not rank amateurs!

[rbaker]

Husbands (or whomever) in the delivery room? . . . no way. The mans place is in a nearby tavern.

All this “birthing” crap was just starting when I had my two sons over thirty years ago. Being a far more sensitive person then, I bought into the program. You know, sharing the experience and being part of bringing a new life into the world. And then there was all this breathing stuff and midwives, doulas and birthing tanks and . . . I get the willies just thinking about it.

Hopefully, this bogus social experiment will soon run its course allowing men to return to their natural role of warrior and hunter/fisherman and women to return to their natural role of mother and keeper of the hearth.

[DocInChina]

Husbands (or whomever) in the delivery room? . . . no way. The mans place is in a nearby tavern.

. . . I get the willies just thinking about it.

...... allowing men to return to their natural role of warrior and hunter/fisherman and women to return to their natural role of mother and keeper of the hearth.

HERE HERE! I was prsent when my first child was born. I still have nightmares about the experience just prior to delivery. My new wife (with 31 weeks to go) has assured me that I WILL NOT be in the delivery room.

Doc

[Jacqui]

In my other life I'm a Registered Nurse/Certified Midwife. I have one thought on this subject, KEEP THE DANGED MEN OUT OF THERE !!!!!!!! They are completely worthless, unneeded, and a complete pain in the ---.

Thank you

[karen]

My first time I was a single mom and my mom was my lamaze coach so she was there. My dad wandered in and out but I think missed the "magic moment" I did ban the video camera. This last birth was a scheduled C section and I wanted my hubby to be there because I was scared. I happened to go into labor a week and ahalf early while he was at work, my neighbor had to drive me to the hospital and he showed up just in time to hold a nice clean wrapped up baby and I was almost finished being stitched up-which by the way he thought was perfect!! He did not want to be there and was only going to be there because I wanted him too. Had it been a regular birth he would have been my lamaze coach. It was his first and he kinda wanted to be there but to miss most of the yucky stuff. Looks like he got his wish!

[Aarlan]

As I understand it, the female member of the species undergoes a trauma unlike anything a human should have to endure...But at the precise moment of seeing her newborn, she is flooded with endorphins and within a short period of time the memory of the pain is somewhat numbed down (whatever else would possess a woman to REPEAT THE PROCESS?!?!?!)


When the husband is in the room however, those hormones and endorphins don't kick in. What he witnesses his wife go through (the pain, the blood, etc.), is indelibly etched into his memory databanks for the better part of his natural life...Keep the man the **** out of the delivery room...for his sake and yours...

I was in the delivery room for my first child on 2 weeks ago ( June 13...first child), and it has given me a whole new appreciation for my wife. And you can bet I'm staying as far away from the delivery room next time as I possibly can.

AA

[Jacqui]

And you can bet I'm staying as far away from the delivery room next time as I possibly can.

AA

Good for you!! Seeing it once is more than enough for men. Next time let the pros do it all and stay away.

[rbaker]

Aarlan come down from the mountain and said:

“As I understand it, the female member of the species undergoes a trauma unlike anything a human should have to“

To which I reply:

Horse puckey! Have you ever zipped up you fly on your unit? How about that nearly terminal case of road rash that you inflicted on yourself when you got your first Harley and a snoot full of Jack Daniels?

This whole childbirth deal is just a woman’s excuse to:

1. Redecorate the house, or, heaven forbid
2. Buy a new, larger house
3. Shop for furniture
4. Buy multiple new wardrobes
5. Buy a new car. If it’s the first child, just kiss the Corvette by-by
6. Go to showers and parties – cripes it’s like getting married all over again
7. Take six months off from house work
8. And, you can just forget about fishin

And on and on and on. I don’t even want to talk about the endocrine system. Jeesh.

[Pete Hanlin]

I was present for the birth of both our children. I have to say it was more traumatic for me than for my wife (those epidural things apparently work pretty well- she was all smiles for both deliveries). In fact, the nurse (same one for both deliveries) seemed kinda put off that it took a total of 1.5 hours (both times) to deliver our kids- I think she had had a much worse go of it and has it out for all mothers-to-be or something.

Anyway, I would just as soon not been there- but my wife indicated both times that I should- so I sucked it up and did the two tours of duty. Now I am lobbying for the administration of drugs to the father!!! After all, they work so well for mom- dad should get an IV drip too! In fact, just leave the drip hooked up for oh- 18 years or so...
:p

[Aarlan]

Aarlan come down from the mountain and said:

“As I understand it, the female member of the species undergoes a trauma unlike anything a human should have to“

To which I reply:

Horse puckey! Have you ever zipped up you fly on your unit?

Although I can appreciate your humor, that was some scary ****. After seeing an 8 pound 22 inch infant enter the world through a portal not really equipped to handle that type of traffic, I would much rather staple gun my foot to the floor rather than be subjected to that mess (and subsequent recovery process).

The kid's kind of cute though.

AA

[chm2023]

And the final indignity: how about these people who film the entire process!! OK, big YUCK!!! To say this is not a pretty sight is a vast understatement. And let's face it, one birth is pretty much like the next--red faced screaming urchin, poor mama's parts stretched to the limit (figuratively and literally). A friend of mine loudly advised her husband as he approached her with a video camera while she was giving birth, that if he shot the video he better keep it near and dear, as that would be the last time he would see that part of her!!! Apparently this was accompanied by serious expletives and was thought wildly funny by the delivery team!!!

[rbaker]

Pete,

I too, was there for the birth of both my issue. I was just as mellow as could be as I grabbed a handful of Demerol (used to be my favorite) on the way to the hospital. I was feeling no pain but, like your experience, mother was feeling less pain and anxiety. Not only that, her insurance company paid for her drugs. I had to get mine on the street.



Aarlan,

My wife had caesarians both times so nothing important was spindled, folded or mutilated. If you do ever get the urge to staple your foot to the floor I suggest either Demerol or Morphine.



chm2023

I second that. I have sat through a number of these films and videos of former friends. These birthing pictures usually go hand in hand with crappy vacation movies and movies of little Johnny or Sally’s kindergarten graduation. Today, the curmudgeon that I have become gets up mumbling and leaves the room and takes another Demerol.

[Aarlan]

I suggest either Demerol or Morphine.



.

You'll have to introduce me to your street pharmacist here in CT:cheers:

AA

[Spexvet]

I was there for all three of mine. First one was 11 minutes from water breaking 'til delivery (luckily we were in the hospital). The second and third were in a birth center, delivered by midwives. The third scored a 3 on the Apgar scale and had to be bagged (made to breath) right between my wife's legs.
The worst thing was when I found out the hard way that an episiotomy (sp?) is done with SCISSORS! OUCH!

The image of a head sticking out of my wife's most intimate area is also stuck in my mind - reminds me of the movie "Alien".

[rbaker]

Aarlan,

You don’t have to go out on the mean streets of Connecticut to make a connection with the cooker these days. Just respond to some of the email that you receive on a daily basis and order whatever you need on line. You can get goodies to enhance size, performance and attitude. You don’t even have to leave the house.


Actually, it has been 24 years, two months and seventeen days since I have had a drink or a drug. But, who’s counting.

[Aarlan]

.


Actually, it has been 24 years, two months and seventeen days since I have had a drink or a drug. But, who’s counting.

Good for you! I stopped drinking 4 years ago...No problems, just too damn expensive.

AA