Johns

Occasionally, I get fixated on things I just can't live without. Many times, I don't even know that these items of my desire even exist before the moment I need them.

In grade school, it was the metalic copper banana bike with the grey sparkle seat. In high school, it was the 1972 Buick Appollo that had been brush painted, but I managed to steal for $650.

The day after I graduated from College, I went downtown to some clubs and saw a cute blond that looked like she would make the perfect wife and mother. She did.

Last month, while surfing e-bay, I saw a 1929 International Harvester flat bed truck. Really sharp! All fixed up and ready to go. The bidding was only up to $2400, but there was a reserve. I bid $4,000, knowing I probably wouldn't meet the res., and I was right. It's kind of like yelling at a bully while hiding behind your big brother. You register your opinion, but there's really no consequence to it. Well, the truck never made the reserve, and I was off the hook.

Last week, the guy w/ the truck called me and said he'd take $8,500 for the truck. Well worth it, I'm sure, but not to me.

Well, Friday night, I see another truck for sale. Not as nice, by any stretch, but it ran, looked pretty solid, and there was still 2 days left. Oh, and the bid was only up to $2,600. Well, being the big spender that I am, and not really wanting the truck, I bid $3,000. No big deal...plenty of time, it should end up going for around $5-$6K.

Sunday night, my wife and my son and I are bike riding on the local bike trail. My wife says, "You know, we've got a wedding, a baptism, and 2 birthdays coming up...I'm going to need about $300." " My God woman! Wouldn't it be cheaper to just change our names, go into the witness prrotection program and move out of the country?", I replied, only half jokingly.
"We just spend way too much on all this stuff, and it never ends! We settled on $250.

When we got home, and after our son was sleeping, I logged into my e-mail, and saw three words on my screen that made me turn white. "Congratualtions You Won"

All I could say was, "Oh crap! Oh no!" My wife ran upstairs to see what the problem was.

Her: "What's up hon?
Me: "Oh nothing..."
Her: "You don't "Oh Crap" for nothing."
Me: "Uh, no, really...I just made a little mistake"
Her: "You didn't buy something out in California again did you?"
Me: "Oh no! It's nothing like that!"
Her: "Did you buy something?"
Me: "Uh...yeah...just a truck"
Her: "That's good, you'll need another truck this winter. I hope it's 4 wheel drive. Let me see it."
Me: "there it is..."
Her: "No really, stop kidding around! Let me see it!"
Me: "Uh...really, that's it."
Her: "Please tell me you didn't just buy a 78 year old truck! Oh, and look, it's only in Minnesotta, you should be able to run up there on your lunch hour!"
Me: Complete, total, silence.
Her: "You know that gift money I need? I just now figured out I'll need $500"
Me: "Sure honey, no problem."



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